COME AS A CHILD - THE STORY BEHIND THE STAIRWELL

A new once a month bible study is soon to begin at my house. All are welcomed.
 
The study will be called "Come As A Child."  I'll be sharing the things we discover in this blog from time to time.

The tentative start date is some time in April, and will be announced as we come closer.  There are still a few preparations underway, but I am very excited about this! It is all about relating to God with the heart of a child. 

This may sound a bit strange, but the building of a new stairwell at our house had a lot to do with the behind the scenes beginnings of some of the stories I will tell.  Let's just say the progress of the building and the time of waiting for it to be done provoked a lot of interesting thoughts.  It seemed that the idea for the bible study was evolving as the stairs progressed and maybe it was just coincidence, but I felt like God was teaching me how to teach as I watched those stairs come together.   

How can I possibly explain what I mean?  People might think me crazy to say I've been learning lessons from a stairwell, but it is true!  The rebuilding of this stairwell has given me   such a multifaceted mix of thoughts and little daily observations.  

 

The first thought is all about transitions.  We've been in a long state of transition at our house and the remodeling of the stairs was a big part of the physical transition.  A lot of remodeling has taken place, a whole house in fact, but it was the process with the stairs that taught me so much.  

Even now, there are constant changes happening in the dynamics of our household with our children being grown and out on their own (we are very PROUD of each of them), with ageing parents who are greatly loved, with the church congregation that my husband pastors growing daily in God's grace and love, and with our own careers transitioning toward possibly their last work places before retirement. 

 

  It seems in the changing and refreshing of a tired old  house, we are allowing God to change us too. 

As the stairs get rebuilt and painted, I can feel God rebuilding and repainting the days of our lives. 

As the house begins to look renewed and refreshed, I can see God bringing those same aspects of renewal and refreshing into our daily lives.  

There suddenly is a lot more living and growing in the grace and knowledge of Our Lord Jesus Christ taking place.  Today is much more about faith in and hope around God's plan, and a lot less about making our own plan.  None of this transition phase of our lives has been easy or secure, but strangely; in spite of many unusual circumstances we are finding it very exciting and fulfilling! 

So we have found ourselves, not only completing the stairway in the middle of our home, but without even noticing it we too were moving ever upward on the golden steps of that ladder to heaven that Jacob dreamed about.  God was showing us new glimpses into the life He wants for us to live.  Just like he did for Jacob, but in a different, less dramatic way.

 

Don't misunderstand and think I'm saying you can earn your way to heaven, definitely not; I believe we live under grace, and I don't mean to imply that anyone can ever earn their way to heaven by DOING THINGS, so listen carefully to what I am really saying here.  I DO believe that God has a purpose for each of us to fulfill in our lives, and fulfilling that purpose always draws you closer and closer to the Kingdom of Heaven, to that place where God lives.  God never seems to spell those purposes out in 1,2,3 format, you simply have to trust what He is doing from day to day - no matter what circumstances you find yourself living through. 

 

Funny thing to say I know, but I believe the process of rebuilding the stairs of our home, and all that has gone on around and during this process, has brought us closer to God and helped us to operate more in that invisible kingdom that can't be seen with the eyes.

 

Remember the story where Jacob had a dream as he lay with his head on the rock?  Remember how he saw those steps that reached up to heaven with angels ascending and descending to and from heaven to earth?  We know that Jesus represents that ladder for us.  He is the stairway to heaven. There is nothing that we can do to help ourselves climb up, but having His Holy Spirit dwelling in our lives helps us to overcome the things of the world while He lays down His life which forms the bridge that helps us to move forward.  He is our ladder.  Our life in Him is the spiritual stairway that is being completed in order for us to touch heaven.  Each day that we live for Christ, we experience more and more of the ladder experience becoming complete.  In the meantime, angels are coming and going, blessing us and protecting us while we dwell in the earthly places where we must dwell.  If you never think about this, you won't even notice, but I promise you it is happening all the time.   Jesus is providing that connection with God, helping us to overcome, to be survivors in all circumstances, to be able to see the invisible things of God at work in our daily lives.   

 

So it has been at our house as we worked on the stairs. In a much smaller and humbler way, and a bit like Jacob's dream, we have been wrestling with a change, just as Jacob wrestled with God before he changed his name and made him a nation.  

 

Our changes have come to us both physically and spiritually in the small little realms of the world where we live out daily life; even in the simple process of the rebuilding of a stairwell.  As we watched the stairs come together we began to notice that God was continually blessing us by drawing ever closer and opening up new connections to His Kingdom.   

 

We've removed the debris and the old worn out structures.  We burned them in a fire in the back yard, and now they are completely gone.  We've focused on making a fresh new design for these stairs.   There was something about this process of removing the clutter and focusing on the the big new plan that gave me a clearer picture of God and how He was working in our lives.  This frame in time seemd to open up the doors to heaven and bring in deeper and better connection to the things that can only be shown by The Holy Spirit.   I loved the new eyes!

 

Despite the fact that we both were walking in God's saving grace, we had gained a lot of needless clutter from the world, and we had a lot of broken places from the daily sins that we all commit because we are human.  As we were cleaning out the old wood of the broken and unused stairwell, we were cleaning out the old unfinished parts of our souls that had laid dormant, waiting on God's perfect time.  We laid it all before the throne of God.  He has honored the broken pieces of the lives we offered up to Him.  He has blessed us in spite of who we are.  He knows it all and He loves us just the same and He comes to us with new designs to work on.  New ways to overcome and rebuild.  He burns the old and brings out the new.   It shines in the light of His love. 

And the world keeps on turning on its axis, and no one really sees what is happening; only God knows and we know.  This process of transition is a quiet thing.  There are no real words to explain such a spiritual process, and it cannot be planned.  Everything has a season and only God knows when to turn the world to fulfill his next plan for each of us.  None of the above was our own timing.  It has all been God's timing, and it is all happening simply because God chose to make it happen.  It is not about us, but we have the privilege of participating along with all of God's other children. 

 

We had no idea what was really coming down when we first began to rebuild.  We were simply going about our lives.  Dreaming daily and common dreams.  All at once we found ourselves living in a state of daily renewal, a time of focusing on the things that we perceived to be important to God instead of our own desires.  God had put us in a place of waiting, this can sometimes be called "helplessness."  We were as helpless as children waiting on their Father to tell them what would happen next.  This type of helplessness always brings change.  It comes in the form of renewal.  

 

One simple form of renewal is to let your heart change to that of a little child so that you can experience all the wonder and power of God fresh and new all over again, no matter what your present age.  I think that is where and how God is leading us right now.  In the words of Margaret Feinberg, "it is about being wonderstruck."     

We've had this huge hole in the floor to the main part of our house for a long time now.  It has presented us with some strange comments and circumstances.  How did it get there?  Keep reading, I explain eventually.  

As we proceeded to redesign the stairwell between the upper level and the basement, there was a standing joke told every time someone visited our home.  The minute any visitor stepped inside our front door we would always say: "be very careful and don't fall into the hole in the floor!"  You can't imagine how odd it is to greet your relatives on holidays as they come through your front door with that statement; "Be careful not to fall down the hole in the floor!"

It was a huge problem whenever we wanted to have any group activities.  I couldn't possibly invite people over with that gaping hole in the floor.  It seemed everything I thought to do presented a problem with that huge hole always staring back at me.  I had to try to take family photos around it every holiday. I could make the rest of the house look nice, but there was always that gaping hole.  I just didn't want people to see it in the photos years later. 

We had true friends who kindly overlooked this problem, but it was dangerous; and it was not a bit pretty.   So I had to reconcile myself to waiting on that problem to be solved.  Without a choice, I resorted to making the best use of the time and preparing for the coming bible study in this time of waiting for the stairs to be finished.  Each time I stared at that hole in the floor I just distracted myself with listening to God and working out the next teaching with Him. 

During the time that my husband has been engaged in all this do-it-yourself carpentry, I've been praying my way through each lesson I want to teach and asking God to bless the presentation of it with His Holy Spirit.   As I've  prayed, God has been showing me that we all have this gaping hole in the floor of our lives, just like the hole in the floor where our stairwell needed to be.  He wants each of us to complete that connection.  He wants easier access to His people.  We have all we need for this, we simply have to get to doing the things that it takes to walk up.  That hole in all our lives will sit there forever if we aren't careful to take the time to rebuild.  We must be about the rebuilding of our lives every day, and we must rebuild with the purpose of connection to God.  There are many steps involved in this process and it takes a lot of time and effort, but it can be done.  God never once said the highway to heaven was easy!  He said the gate was narrow and the way was not always easy to see.  How do we find it?  By listening to the voice of our Good Shepherd.  He knows how to bring us to where we need to be. The main thing is to fill the hole in our hearts with Jesus Christ.  He is the true stairway to heaven.  It is all about following the path that He has laid out for us.  Sometimes this is quite a long journey.  Sometimes the navigation is hard.   

Rebuilding solves the problem of navigating through dangerous places.  The dangerous places are basically still there, but now it is easier to navigate through them.  It makes coming closer to God so much easier.  I realized while watching those steps be built that the first step is to come to God with the heart of a child.  Like a child, expect to hear the words of life from the Father, and His Holy Spirit will lead you to know the greatest Carpenter of all; the One who will help you to rebuild every aspect of your life.  You will love the results of His carpentry! He can navigate you through any dangerous place.   

Here is the most crazy thing that happened to us when we decided to rebuild our stairs;  what should have taken us only a few weeks actually took us seven years.  Let that sink in for a minute - SEVEN YEARS! One year where we tore it out and moved down to the basement for awhile, three years of living in the basement while other things were happening;  one year of remodeling other parts of the house and planning our daughter's wedding, and finally a time of moving back into the whole house, but when my husband took another bi-vocational job that had him traveling 5 days a week and preaching on Sunday.  In those last few years he was only able to work on those stairs on busy Saturdays.   

Once again, I can identify with Jacob!  Four of those years we stalled on this task because we were living in our basement (as I will soon explain) but three of those years we were actually living in the whole house again with a jillion and one OTHER THINGS going on.  It just took us a LONG TIME.  

Isn't that just like real life too?  I think of the Israelites wandering around in the desert for 40 years when they could have taken an easier route and arrived in the promised land in no time at all.  But, that wasn't God's plan; He had things to teach them in that wilderness, just like He was teaching us about life as we rebuilt those stairs.  All that time He was also giving me lessons to write down for a bible study.  We waste time, but God never does.  He makes good come from all circumstances, even when we are not aware of it and cannot always see what is happening.   

It is hard and complicated to explain all the time and circumstances around this slow remodeling that we have done; but all I can tell you is God has His own way of keeping time and it doesn't at all resemble our way. 

Has God ever told you to wait on something?   That was the word I kept hearing - "wait."   I watched my husband dutifully struggling with this chore of carpentry whenever he could carve out some extra time.  I got so tired of hearing family and friends ask, "what is taking so long?"  They simply did not understand.  

Yet all the while, just seeing the building process slowly unfold before my eyes made me think of another Carpenter.  This Carpenter is right now in heaven building a home for His Bride.  He isn't in a hurry; He knows that everything must be perfect in it's own time.  He will keep working on the house until the Father tells Him it is time to go to get The Bride.  He isn't cutting corners or wasting materials.  He has a good well-thought-out plan.  He is using the finest materials.  He is carefully planning the home He will share with His family for eternity.  As He works on that home, He has faith that the Bride is also carefully planning and getting ready to greet Him, putting herself in order while He is away.  He is patient.  He doesn't mind waiting on the circumstances to be "just right."

So it is that I've been waiting on the re-building of these stairs.  Sometimes I feel I've spent more of my life waiting than living.  I want to be living in reality, not waiting in unreality; but sometimes God has reasons for all this waiting, and He calls us to wait with Him until His timing is right for what He is asking us to do. 

 Sometimes we wait because we need to spend time in preparation.  There were so many things that had to be done in order to even prepare to rebuild this stairwell.  There was painting; there was sanding, there was the gathering up of the materials and the tools that we needed.     I've too often had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I know the value and the truth of it; so I've learned to wait and prepare well.  Then there is always the right timing.  We had to paint a lot of the boards outside and leave them there to dry.  We couldn't do that on rainy days.  We had to prepare them when the timing was right or we would only have a huge mess on our hands that had to be done all over again.  We were busy enough withhout creating extra work for ourselves and doubling the time it took to get there.  Rain always slowed us down, but then again, rain was a blessing and much needed in the land.  We had to learn how to be patient and wait on the right time and how to use our time that we had wisely.  Sometimes with all this waiting the house was covered in dust!  It was disgusting and the more I cleaned the more of it I saw.  It reminded me of the fact that we all are just human, and let's face facts, we are nothing but dust!  We have to live with one another's dust all the time, but God created us this way and He will see us through. All of the changes He will bring will take time.  Lots of time.  Lots of living in the dust of humanity before we begin to see the glimpses of heaven.  I've learned some secrets about time in this waiting.  I have  been writing these things down in lesson form for the study.  I'm once again, waiting; waiting to present the secrets that God keeps whispering in my ear.  Waiting on Him to say; "NOW." 

In my life as a "lady in waiting" I've had a little dream that has helped me to be patient.  It is a little dream that has evolved over the years of waiting. 

 During all this time of the remodeling  I've had visions of inviting people into my home for a bible study that would begin when the stairs were completely remodeled, then continue on in our home for years to come.  God gave me the idea, but I admit, my mind expanded it a bit.  I could see myself serving food in my elegant new kitchen, seating people in my completely remodeled living room, and receiving people into a welcoming new foyer and hallway.  In this little dream that I had, everyone would be all smiles, and we would laugh and talk and share the blessings that come from studying the scriptures and praying together, and then they would go home and I would bask in the luxury of my newly remodeled living quarters and think what a great time we had shared together. 

My Newly Remodeled Kitchen
 

Please don't laugh - there is more.....

I began to feel even stronger about this dream after my daughter's wedding.  I catered her wedding myself, doing most of the cooking and grocery buying personally, only hiring other people to help present the food and serve at the reception.  I gladly volunteered to do this, and I greatly enjoyed it. It was a great success and all went very well; but it was extremely tiring.  After the wedding I was completely exhausted.  To help with this, my husband took me on a luxurious vacation at The Peabody Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee with part of the money I saved him on the wedding expenses. What a way to recover!

It was a great surprise trip!  We had a blast! We basked in total luxury for a whole week.  I didn't cook, not even once.  I ate the finest foods at the finest restaurants.  We had dessert every time! Every day  I bathed in a whirlpool-spa tub full of warm bubbles and drank champagne as I soaked.  I slept on a down feathered bed that felt like floating on a cloud.  I found chocolates on my pillow each evening.  I was totally surrounded by excellent service, wonderful food and extreme beauty.  I felt like a little child at Christmas in a huge candy shop where I met Santa who gave me every gift I ever dreamed of, then turned me lose in the store with a big huge bag. 

We had so much fun!  It is a time I will always remember.  It was a great transition from a time of a beautiful touching wedding that had taken every emotion I never knew I even had.   We went from very detailed, very careful to very carefree in an instant.  We enjoyed awesome live music every day, even just walking down the street.  It was wonderful.  I decided that heaven might be a lot like constantly living at The Peabody.  As we left, I had the thought that I wanted my home to feel that same way to people whenever they came to visit, just exactly like The Peabody in Memphis.  I had a way to go in order to be able to achieve that goal.

This was a dream that escalated as time went by.  I confess I got a little too consumed by it, and often took it to extremes.   It does all sound a bit perfectionist and stuffy to me now; but that was the dream that God allowed me to dream until He brought me to the place that He really wanted me to be, and to be completely fair, it was more about hospitality and welcoming people than being perfect. 

God has this way of refining our dreams and making them golden.  He was working on mine in ways I didn't know or understand.  He began teaching me that true hospitality can happen anywhere, and it never depends on the surroundings.  It can happen in a prison, in a taxi, on a bus, in an office, in an orphanage, on a street corner, in a coffee shop, on a camping trip, in a little bookstore, in a humble kitchen with unfinished floors, in a local shopping mall, in a back yard, in the grocery store, in a million places!  If God is with you, that is all you need for true hospitality.  You don't have to serve a feast, you can simply offer a glass of water.  You don't have to present a five course meal; a bowl of soup with bread is often all you need.  Jesus himself kept his hospitality very simple, usually only two ingredients; bread and wine.  Most of all, you need God there by your side, helping you to smile and be thankful for whatever He allows you to share with your guest.  I learned that hospitality can be defined in one word; thanksgiving.  I learned this in a more literal way during the time that we were remodeling our home.  Nothing was ever perfect.  I had to learn to operate in spite of that gaping hole in the floor.  I knew God was up to something.  Like Paul, I had to learn to live in grace, accepting the thorns with the roses.  I had to learn to be grateful for what God was teaching me in all the imperfection. 

God kept gradually changing parts of this equation and rearranging the pieces as I waited on the stairs to be finished at our house.   Funny how you visualize things you are waiting on turning out a certain way, then God changes the patterns and pieces and moves a few things around and it all turns out different than you imagined. Not better or worse, but simply different. His ways are higher than our ways and His plans are better than our plans. I can clearly see this in the lessons I learned from the remodeling of the stairs. Hindsight is always 20-20, but it doesn't seem that way while your still in the process.

It seems that God has actually changed our hearts, through the process of all the waiting, even more than we have changed the house.  Somehow, over time, all of the thoughts about the house have become smaller to me; and the thoughts about the people coming and going and visiting in the house have become larger.  Real friendships happen in all circumstances.  I knew those who accepted us for who we were and not the condition of our house were really our closest friends.  I treasured the friendships of all those that God put in our path that loved us this way.  The surroundings seem less significant, and the telling of the stories just the way The Holy Spirit is leading them to be told to those who come and go here seems most significant. 

Children can always sense when their father is at work.  They always want to go with him and help him.  They want to join him in the part of his world that they may not know of yet.  This is a natural inclination for children who love their fathers.  A good father will always teach his child how to work.  He does it initially by bringing them into his own work environment and allowing them to see how he spends his days.  God is at work, and you can believe there are surprises around every corner.  As His child, you will always be amazed!  Nothing is ever quite what it appears to be on the surface when God is at work.   As Eugene Petterson always reminds us; He plays in ten thousand faces and in a million different places.  He has taught me how to play too.  I want to share this wonder with my other brothers and sisters.  It isn't the room that we are playing in that matters, it is simply the things that we will learn and do with Our Heavenly Father and each other inside those rooms that count. 

Offering God's precious gift to mankind is the highest form of hospitality, and it can be presented either in a small humble stable or the most elegant of mansions.  All of us have a million different ways to tell the story, but it is the story that counts.  Each of us have our own individual story.  It is the love behind the stories that binds our hearts together. 

In my waiting, God has been reteaching me all of His stories through the eyes of a child.  They feel so fresh and new, so ready to jump out of the box and into the hearts of all the people who fill any room any where God leads us to be. 

So, you may be starting to see that this whole process of tearing out the stairs and building them back again and remodeling our home has evolved into quite a life experience.   It seemed at the time such an insignificant thing, but you would not believe what I've put on hold just waiting on those stairs to be finished.  It seemed that everything I wanted to do in life could not be done because of those stairs not being finished.  It took awhile for me to understand that the only real problem I had was myself.  While I thought I was waiting, God was simply being patient with me.  I often thought of the craziness of it, yet, I also knew we were still right on track with God's plan for us.  I didn't ever hear God saying "You've made a mistake by tearing out those stairs!"  I simply heard Him saying, when the stairs are complete I want you to start something new.  One of the new things will be the bible study He has put on my heart. 

It seems there could be more new things than I realized though.  To understand you have to go back even further to the very beginning of this story. 

When my husband first felt the call to start his pastoral ministry, we knew we needed to make some adjustments to our lifestyle because of the loss in income we would experience.  He needed to be free from his day job to start up a small church congregation.   

We were a family of six with lots of mouths to feed and a mortgage.  Our four kids were just graduating from high school and thinking about attending college and starting their own careers.  We had a large house with a full basement where we all had lived happily together for many years.  Life had been very busy with raising children and working through our careers. 

My husband had always been a good provider.  At one point we were enjoying that elusive six figure income that most Americans have chased around like a roller coaster.  Those were the days.  He worked for a cookie company.  I had a sign in the kitchen that said "Home is where the cookies are."  My income was the smaller part of this equation. We gave up my income completely for several years, because I chose to stay home while the children were young (that is another story altogether, and this one is getting long enough!)  

After the kids passed the middle school years, I worked mostly for the sake of having good medical insurance so that my husband could be free and unencumbered to climb that corporate ladder.  My salary also helped pay for college tuition.

When the call to full-time ministry came, nobody was handing out free "change-your- focus-and-start-your-life-over-in-a-new-profession" scholarships.  My husband started attending seminary about the same time that some of our children were starting college.  It wasn't an easy decision.  It was a very hard and tiring schedule. We got on our knees and prayed and prayed and prayed.  We sought God's guidance in this step of life that He was leading us into.  We knew life was about to take a drastic change.  If we pursued all of these things that God was showing us, our life was about to take a huge financial dive.  There was no way around it.  

One day I was sitting in our living room praying and had this sense that God was asking me to give up the house.  As I prayed more and more I got the sense that He didn't want me to give up the WHOLE house, just the upstairs.  I also had a sense that it was only to be for three years.  At the same time my husband felt The Lord was telling him to go full-time in the ministry for three years and then work bi-vocationally again, with both a career and a ministry.  He had the feeling that originally he needed to spend three solid years focusing on starting a church congregation, then go back to a job as he remained the pastor when it was firmly established.   God was showing us separately a three year plan.  We were a little astonished when we related this to each other and saw the parallel.  This sounded strange to me at first, but God was showing us both what he wanted us to be doing for the next three years and as we prayed further, a plan evolved.

We managed this drastic change in income with me working full time and changing our house into two completely separate duplex apartments.  We would live in the downstairs and rent out the upstairs.  It seemed to be a bit drastic and crazy, but it was doable.   

Our son had long been out of the nest, leaving to live on his own right after high school graduation, but our three grown daughters were either in college or just starting out in their careers.  We agonized and dreaded telling them about this change.  Surprisingly, when we announced it to them, they decided they wanted to join together as roommates and rent from us!  There were a lot more details here, but I won't bore you with all of them.  It was a timely plan that worked well for everyone, even though most of our friends and neighbors thought we had lost our minds. 

We gave our three daughters the complete upstairs and we took the complete downstairs.  Everything was made totally separate, including removing the stairs and patching the hole in the floor with flooring and carpet that matched what was already there.  Everyone had their privacy, and that was how our stairwell originally disapeared about seven years ago.

 

 

Sharing small family gatherings in our basement apartment.
 

 

   I joked that I might put a wooden sign with an arrow painted on it in the front yard pointing to our door saying "the old folks live down here."

The girls got very cozy in the upstairs of the house, and we pulled this off for three years exactly.   It seemed that everyone was comfortable and satisfied for the moment.

The three girls divided the amount of our mortgage three ways among themselves and paid it to us as rent each month.  We put one daughter in charge of collecting the rent and bringing it to us on time. She got a small percentage off her portion of the rent for handling this chore.  That worked well, we didn't have to hassle with our relatives/renters.  That took care of the mortgage on the house for us (which helped us be financially able to give up my husband's day-job salary,) and this arrangement was actually cheaper rent than a small apartment on campus or near work for each of the girls.  Everyone saved money and everyone won! 

We lived very frugally, staying home most of the time, cooking our own meals in the little mini-kitchen we built in the basement, driving used vehicles and not using credit.  We continued to pay for tuition for four years of college for whoever  of our children that chose to go.  We paid all the utilities, the homeowners insurance, the property taxes, and we took care of the maintenance of the whole house.  Somehow, God provided this for us and saw us through these days. 

It worked!

 It gave time for the emotional transitions of the ever changing family dynamics for all of us.   This made college much more affordable.  The girls were able to “practice” living on their own with us still being in the background to help out a lot.  My husband was also able to enjoy enough free time to establish a great little church congregation that still thrives and grows today because we were willing to make that simple little change in our lifestyle for a short while.  He took on side jobs as a handyman in the community for extra money too. You would be amazed at how many people need odd jobs done and can't find anyone trustworthy to do them.  The only thing wrong with that was that it distracted him from doing MY odd jobs.  Oh well, we survived it and were grateful.

I would not recommend this plan to everybody.  It was just God's timing and provision for our lives in the time in which we found ourselves.  We were all actually very comfortable once we ironed out the kinks of this plan.  It WAS a sacrifice none the less, but one that God honored. 
 

Hence the purpose of my telling you all of this in so many, many words and phrases: 

In the process of all this change, in ripping out the main stairwell of our home,  the story behind the stairs began to unfold.  God began to show me so many hidden lessons in this one little part of the house.  After awhile, like a child begging her father to tell her "just one more story," I began to expect a lesson from God every day. 




Temporary covering of the stairwell in the girl's part of the house.

That temporary covering on the stairs reminded me of how the blood of Jesus covers our earthly bodies until we see God face to face and He transforms us into our heavenly bodies and into what he originally created us to be.  That will be whenever He says we are ready.  It is not up to us.   Until that time arrives, Jesus covers us and keeps us safe and protects us from our own faults and imperfections.
 

The day finally came when we took back the whole house as the girls happily moved on with their lives.  We reopened the area in the floor for the stairs and put up a temporary skeletal structure that we could walk up and down on until we could get around to the great new design of the stairwell.  We decided to transition the look of the whole house from traditional to modern.  My husband worked very hard at this plan of restoration, and he did a beautiful job of designing and rebuilding the whole upstairs of our home.  By now though, he was back to a bi-vocational life.  Unfortunately, the job he found involved travel.  He was gone most of the week days every week, and did not have enough time to give to the remodeling of our house.  I was left dealing with this state of the transition every day.  I tried to have some sense of normalcy in it all, but it wasn't easy.  It was a very slow process, and we had to do the work on weekends only.  Actually Saturdays only, because Sundays were pretty much full days in the ministry that was now thriving and growing.

Cooking in my new kitchen.
 

So, the whole process took a lot of time and patience on our part.  The first year we took back the whole house we were also pretty distracted and consumed with planning one of our daughter's wedding.  The work on the stairwell got pushed aside.  We worked on remodeling the upstairs kitchen first.  I catered our daughter's wedding myself.  I needed the larger upstairs kitchen to do this.   Finally the kitchen was complete. and it was wonderful!   I loved everything that we did.  It was the perfect kitchen I've always dreamed of having.  I flourished in this kitchen, enjoying all kinds of gourmet cooking and baking. Everyone benefited.

Next we looked at the flooring in the main part of the house and decided that it needed to change before we put in a new staircase.  My husband set about ripping out the old well-worn carpets and laying down hardwood floors. He was very busy working a full time job again, running a full time ministry, and somehow he added building hardwood floors into the schedule.  The floors took about a year to get completely finished because he traveled during the week.  We had to live on them half finished for awhile.  Finally they were done in the living room, hall, kitchen and dining area.  They looked beautiful! 

Now, after two years into moving back into our whole house we were ready to tackle rebuilding those stairs.  I'm thinking the whole two years, soon the remodeling will be done, and I will start the bible study God has put on my heart called "Come As a Child."   I kept hearing Him say to me as I prayed:  "wait until the stairwell is complete."  So I waited. 

I wrote the lessons while I waited.  I also finished writing a novel God put on my heart about the gates around Jerusalem.  I am now in the process of looking for a publisher.  I started blogging, and God also gave me ideas for more novels to write.  I have began writing three other novels, and a companion book to the first novel.  I also wrote poetry as I waited and waited and waited.

Looking back, all the waiting time was not a waste at all.  It actually helped me to ease into the writing career I have always planned to take up whenever I retire from my present profession.  Maybe one day I'll even get paid for it!  

In the meantime, we painted and plastered and changed furniture and ripped out wall paper and scraped ceilings and kept stalling on finishing those stairs. 

Then came the day when my husband's company closed down unexpectedly, leaving us to live with a drastic cut in pay.  The source of income from the little church congregation also changed about this same time.  The congregation that had begun to pay a decent salary and actually had grown in numbers and personal ministries, now had less money coming in.  The personal ministries had increased and thrived, but income of the people had changed over the years from high-end well paid professionals to hard working, mostly service industry hourly workers or blue collar workers with a large mix of the unemployed and underemployed; those in life transitions, or elderly on fixed low incomes.  These people tithed more from their time and energy than their incomes.  God was using them in a mighty way from that too!   I was sure God was pleased with both things, and we remained thankful for what was taking place in the ministry; but my husband was now unemployed and working basically for free as a full time minister in a busy and thriving ministry.  He couldn't give it up, would not even think of it, so he just offered up His time to God as an offering.   He didn't mind giving the free time to the church, but he was anxious to find another bi-vocational job to support us. 

My company also experienced cutbacks because of the economy.  I found myself working for 20% less than I had hired on for and also a big cut in benefits. That family coverage medical insurance I had always worked for was now taking a huge chunk out of my take home pay.

At least I still had a job!  I was thankful for that.  I needed to be making more money; but I was enjoying the work I did, and was also happy to have eight extra hours of free time now to spend at home each week.  A minister's wife stays very busy, especially if she has four children, aging parents, a house to care for and a job and is pursuing a career as a writer on the side.  I relished the time more than the money.  I needed both!  

During this strange time my heart was still wrapped up and consumed with the writing of the lessons God was still giving me every day. I used most of that extra time at the keyboard typing out stories, novels, bible studies and blogs that honored God and proclaimed the gospel.  It was my passion, but we quickly came to realize that  we were headed for a change in lifestyle because of our loss of income.  My husband's job searches just were not panning out for some strange reason that we could not understand.  We began to pray about this, asking God for help.  This seemed like a strange turn of events for us. 

In this long time of prayer, I began to see a pattern of answers.  God was calling us to simplify our lives.  We no longer needed the big house.  We had learned how to be hospitable anywhere, any time.  The kids were grown and happy on their own.  We had accumulated so many material things that were simply useless and no more needed.  It was taking all of our time and energy to keep the house and the "things" up to par.  Constantly working on the house wasn't our first choice as a way to spend our free time anymore.  Our focus in life had completely changed! 

We were tired and weary of all the remodeling process.  God had shown us many other things to be doing with our time and energy.  Our home's property insurance and  taxes had been rising steadily every year until they felt very expensive now.  The utility bills could be cut in half if we lived in a smaller space.  Two of us didn't need so much space. 

As much as we have loved every minute of life in our present home, I began to think that maybe God was about to move us on to the next place He had in mind for us. 

We had tried so hard to hold on to the familiar, but God was going to ask us to venture out into the unknown.  I had not anticipated this at this stage of life.  At first it felt strange and out of order to me.  I kept thinking of Sarah and Abraham and their story of leaving all they knew and venturing out in an unknown journey.  I wrote it down in a story for "Come As A Child."  I also wrote about "Creation" and "Time."  Stories were pouring out and I was writing them down as we considered what God wanted us to do next.  I think at this point I would have been content to sit still in a room with a word processor and just write forever.  God didn't let that happen!  It was good to write the stories, but they needed to be told.  Like the story of The Velveteen Rabbit, these stories needed to be shared to be real.

Though hesitant at first, I slowly began to let go of the house in my heart and mind and began to explore the joy of the next great adventure. 

God was preparing our hearts, but we still had some homework to do yet.  Those stairs.....they had to be finished before we could sell our house.  We had a lot of loose ends, some more painting and patching and cleaning out to do before we could downsize and move into a smaller more efficient space.  This whole process might, once again, require a lot of time.  We set to work. We needed to finish some things, we needed to sell some things, we needed to give some things away.  There was a lot to organize.

Then one day, finally - after years of actually waiting - the stairwell was built!

I thought it looked quite elegant and oh so beautiful!  More beautiful than I had even imagined.  Those old longings came back, those voices in my head that told me "I want to live here forever - this has been my home for so long now and I love it here!"  I had to learn to turn those voices off and listen to what God was showing me.  We were stuck in this time warp of finishing all the last touches on the house, remodeling and getting it ready to put it on the market for sale. 

We were looking for the next place in our minds, keeping in mind that God was calling us to simplicity.  We knew the main focus was to free more of our time for the ministry and enjoying the last years of our lives here on planet earth with less material things and more spiritual things. 

God had given us the house exactly when we needed it for raising a large family.  It had been quite a blessing.  He had provided us with a great investment opportunity for our future all the while.  Our mansion was being built in heaven, but in the meantime, another  little sukkah was waiting for us somewhere. Perhaps moving to the temporary earthly sukkah would help us prepare for the real mansion that waits for us in eternity. 

God reminded my child's heart that a sukkah is simply a temporary dwelling.  Even God dwelled in a temporary place as the children wandered through the wilderness.  Eventually there was a permanent tabernacle, but there was a movable one that could be disassembled at any point in the beginning.  It is the true nature of God to always be moving forward.  How could I complain?  Even God experienced this in His Own dwelling places!  I took courage from those stories.  I wrote them down in lesson form.

So, the stairwell is done now. 

We are still in the transition toward putting our house on the market and asking God what is next.  My husband has finally found good work after a two year wait. What a blessing! 

We still have many loose ends to clear up.   Who would start a bible study in the midst of all of this? 

Well.......I.......would! 

I would, simply because I've learned to listen to God's voice.  He told me to start the study when the stairwell was finished.  It is time!  NOW!!!  I'm done with asking why, I've moved on to trusting with a lot of blind faith.

So what if we sell the house in the middle of this study?  We will simply invite everyone to come to the new place when we get there.  It can't be too far away, the flock we shepherd with The Shepherd of our souls is nearby. That isn't so complicated. God could even change our mind about moving, who knows?  I have learned to wait and see.  But in the waiting, I have also learned that there is a time to move forward into the destiny that God has planned for you. 

No matter what, I'm excited! 

I look at the beautiful stairs and I see a story of a life well lived, and my heart treasures the story of a family that has lived and loved deeply.  It reminds me of all the awesome ways I've been blessed by having the privilege of being a wife and raising four wonderful children in this wonderful old home.  I thank God for those years.  They have been rich and wonderful.  Those years are one of the main purposes that God created me for.  I know this now, looking back, looking at the finished stairwell. 

I also know there are more stories out there that have not yet been told. 

Before me now I see steps that could lead up, or could lead down.  I've been both places in this life; up to the mountain and down through the valley, as we have lived out our days.  God has taught me in all the times, good and bad, rich and poor, needy and blessed.  I have experienced it all, and He has shown me rich lessons to share through it all. 

I have written them down and am ready to share.  Who will come join me to look at worship through the eyes of a child? 

The stairwell is finished, but God has only just begun to use the blessings of the lessons He showed me as we built them. 

  

Yes, the stairs are finished.......and another page is turning.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!