In the literature of Jewish mystical thought it is explained that at the beginning of the Hebrew season of Elul we are "achor el achor" which means “back to back.” By the end of the season of Elul we are said to be "panim el panim," meaning “face to face.” This concept could be more beautifully explained in a dance, possibly a lovely ballet production, but since those resources are not readily available today, I will try to use mere words.
First of all, one must ask the obvious question. How can it be that we (us and God) are back to back? Wouldn’t this statement imply that God has His back turned to us and that we have our back turned to God? How can we say such a thing when this is the month in which it is said that "the King is in the field"?
Many teachings and teachers have taught us that this is the very month when God is more accessible than ever, when He is waiting for us to come out to the harvest and greet Him in the field. We have learned that this is a time when He is there for us in the "field" of our everyday lives. So how could we possibly be "back to back?"
The concept is much easier to see if you think of it this way; just recall all the old classic movies of love stories you have seen through the years where a loving couple has to part for one reason or another. We see them beginning to walk away from each another with their faces both turned in opposite directions. Almost always, at some point the man turns around and looks back at the woman. You can see in his face that he is wanting to call out her name, that he longs to ask for another chance, or beg for forgiveness, or make a way for them to still be together. In these scenes he is always just about to speak, just about to call out her name, but then he realizes that her back is turned and she is walking away from him. He tells himself that it is too late, that she just doesn’t care. That there is nothing that he can do. So he turns back around.
Seconds later, it is the woman who turns to look back at the man. She knows she doesn’t want this relationship to end. She stalls for time, walking slowly. More than anything she wants to say something to mend the situation, but doesn’t have the right words, can't muster up the courage, or doesn’t have the strength to speak up in her despair. And after all, why should she when his back is turned away from her? She looks at him longingly, wanting things to be different, but it just doesn’t matter. She assumes he just doesn't care as she sees he continues to walk away from her.
And we, the viewers watch this touching scene, sitting on the edge of our seats, hoping against hope that they will both suddenly turn around in the same second and finally realize that the other does care enough to turn and step back into the other's embrace. We keep watching to see if maybe one of them will suddenly realize that though they both appear to be back to back, they really and truly both want to be face to face.
Sometimes that happy ending does happen, other times they simply continue to walk in opposite directions right out of each other’s lives.
I think of the song "Turn, Turn, Turn" that was sung by the Byrds sometime around the 70's which used the words of Solomon in the lyrics.
The words ring so true during Elul.
There is a time and season for everything. This is the time and season to turn around and embrace the love of a God who was willing to die for you, a God who loved you enough to give His only begotten Son to ransom you. it is a time of changing from "back-to-back" and turning to be "face-to-face" with The Creator of The Universe.
I think it is this very aspect of the season of Elul that keeps the lyrics of the song, and the words of Solomon on my mind and in my spirit.
Elul is the time that teaches us the necessity of being willing to turn.
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