AN APPLE A DAY - LETTING GO OF THE SUPER-PERSON IMAGE

AN APPLE A DAY
DAY 115 OF 365 DAYS TO A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE 
(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

Let this scripture be an anchor for life  It is so easy to get off track when it comes to your health! 

One minute you are cruising along, planning your healthy meals, exercising regularly, getting lots of rest, tending to your relationships both with God and men; then suddenly the bottom falls out of the sky and disrupts your calendar and bombards your nicely planned and organized life. 

It isn’t you that causes these unexpected interruptions; it is life in general and the lack of any ability to foresee the future or to know the unexpected plans of others and how they will intersect into your days.  

Maybe you have things all neatly laid out; then a dear relative from out of town decides to come to visit at your house for two weeks which causes your schedule to be completely rearranged.  You must keep working through this visit because you had not planned it yourself and you have no scheduled off time.  Of course you just can't say "no."  You don’t want to miss a moment with this person you love and you are thankful to be able to offer them a place to stay; but you totally had not planned on spending that extra time; it cuts into your prep time for buying the groceries and arranging the healthy menus you want to follow on your diet.  You put off the projects you had planned in order to take more time after work with them.  You also want to prepare more "special" dishes for this not so frequent visitor; so you get off your healthy eating plan for a few temporary days.  "What difference will two weeks make?"  You repeat these words to yourself quickly as you pat yourself on the back for giving special people first priority in your life; as it should be!  You are determined to go with the flow and enjoy the moments.   

That is all good and right, so you just know everything else will fall right back into place later.  Then you find out the NEXT weekend (the one you thought you were going to have free to recover) needs to be used to take care of some unexpected visits from your grandchildren, who need you to be babysitting with while their parents tend to pressing life matters.  Hmmmm - a whole long weekend, not a few hours – a whole three days that you will need to rearrange your schedule for again.  Those projects you had planned get pushed back a little further.  Your recovery time just doesn’t happen as planned.  You had already given up your grocery shopping time and meal planning in order to give that extra time to the visiting relative….now you need to add three more days to the no-down-time schedule.  

You LOVE spending time with your grandchildren though; and you don’t want to ever say “no.”  You might miss some magical moment in their lives!  That might make your most awesome grandmother level drop below the average line for a few days.  No way!  You agree to keep those sweet kids without a moment's hesitation, and you plan to think of some way to feed and entertain them on your lunch hour the day before they arrive.    

Okay – this road is getting just a little bumpy, but you can walk on without faltering!   Just a few more days to overcome and all will be back to normal again.  You can just grab fast food on that grandchild weekend, the kids will love it for a change and you will not have to worry about time in the kitchen.  Win/Win??  Not really, but you will get by.  

You decide also to plan to meet your much loved and cherished visiting relative in a high calorie restaurant in order to squeeze in a little more visiting time while they are here.  Schedule overload?  Nah....you can do it, and a little dessert won’t hurt, right?  After all; it is all in good taste to enjoy fine food and coffee with those that you love. 

As you are working full time in the middle of all of this frantic rearranging, a new project kicks off unexpectedly at work and deadlines fall right in your face.  You start working through those lunch hours that you had been using for walking in the park for an hour a day.  Got to meet those deadlines – no choice!  No exercise or time to walk around the building on breaks during these next few weeks!  The Company will order fast food for all of us who are faithfully burning the midnight oil in order to get the marketing done in time for the big project.  Pizza, pizza, pizza and more pizza; not your typical healthy diet.  Oh bother!  

If you are not working late; you are busy entertaining, and you end the week with a house full of energetic children.  No down time for you Grandma; too much fun to be had this week!  

You are trying to figure out how to do the laundry and entertain the kids at the same time when suddenly you realize it is your husband’s birthday.  Yikes!  How on earth will you ever be able to plan any special time out with him with everyone else’s schedule whirling around in your brain?  Not to mention that you, by now, have consumed too much sugar, wiped too many runny noses and not had a green leafy vegetable on your plate for several days.  Sleep?  Are you kidding?

Whether you are a man or a woman; by now you have probably realized the dangers of the super-person syndrome are at work here!  

The timing for the rest of the week usually goes something like this; as you are planning dinner reservations for your husband in a kid-friendly restaurant that will cost a fortune and be very wasteful, your agent calls.  You have waited five years to find the right publisher for your new novel and your agent tells you they are in town, ready to buy and MUST see you sometime THIS weekend, because they will be hopping a plane back to New York on Monday morning.  Your heart sinks.  

You hang up the phone and pull out a carton of chocolate ice cream and devour the whole carton as quickly as possible.  It is runny and melting because of your tears falling into your bowl; and the grandchildren are all staring wide-eyed at you as if you suddenly lost your mind.  Your husband walks in with a big grin on his face and lets you know you can go for a ride in the brand new boat he just bought himself for his birthday.  It only gets worse from here.  Super-person syndrome is NOT where healthy people need to live!  You’ve got to end this now; but how?

Good news.  There is a possibility of solving all of this and getting your life back.  It will take great concentration and perseverance on your part and it will not be easy.  Let’s just take a deep breath and consider the fact that productivity and tangible accomplishments do not necessarily make you a better person!  Sometimes in life; “more” is NOT better.  

Quit feeling the guilt of not being perfect.  You ARE perfect without any of these things!  Did God not create you just the way you are?  You need to just slow down and de-stress; but how?  You tried scheduling your life but it is OTHERS who didn’t consider your schedule.  

Something just isn’t working here.  Let’s start to sort it all out and figure out how to forget the perfectionist attitude and all the stress that comes with it.  How can you achieve this without hurting everyone and everything that you truly care about?  The things that are happening are all good and all within your goals in life – you just need to find out how to pace them out and slow them down a bit!

Totally impossible and unachievable goals like these can undermine your health.  You can’t last long in this snowball effect without completely burning out.  In the end you simply wind up hurting all those you so want to please.  

Take a deep breath and read on.  Be brave.  If you are identifying with this super-person syndrome (I’ve often been guilty); then find the nearest phone booth and change back into your regular clothes!  Burn that super-person outfit as soon as possible and wipe it from your memory!  

You can be a good person without being a super-person.  You trying to be a super-person is actually enabling others that you are helping to become false/super-people, and at the same time you are crippling your chances of ever finding complete peace.  Let that sink in and read on (after you change in the phone booth.)

Now close your eyes and memorize these three little words.  KEEP LIFE SIMPLE.  Say them to yourself first thing every morning and each night before you close your eyes to sleep.  This is your new motto. 

Okay – easy for me to say; but how do you actually DO this?

Began by writing down one little sentence.  This sentence should explain your purpose in life.  It should address the things that are most dear and most important to you, the things you can’t possibly give up or live without.  I’ll give you an example with my own statement:  “My purpose in life is to joyfully and thankfully give glory to God, to be a loving wife, mother, grandmother, daughter and friend, and to use my God-given talent for writing as wisely and effectively as possible.”

Simple; right?  So go ahead and write your own statement now.  

Whenever things seem overwhelming and impossible; take this little index card with your life statement out and read it to yourself as a reminder.  Post it on your mirror if needed.  All things to all people is NOT your mission in life.  Remember when to say “no.”    

Now that you have your mission statement for a happy life – make yourself three little lists.  

(1)  A list containing everything that you must do in a day to survive.  This would include anything you must do in order to get through a day.  List those things like eating, drinking, bathing, cooking, cleaning, working a job, paying bills, etc.  Just the things that are typical in order to survive each day.   

(2)  Now make another list of only the things you think you must do daily to accomplish your life mission statement. 

(3)  The last list should contain everything you are presently doing daily that you think you can stop doing without affecting any of your life goals. 

You will probably learn a lot by studying and analyzing these three lists.  Now buy a new calendar and begin to make yourself hour by hour appointments that incorporate the thinking of your life mission into what you need to do to survive every day.  List the tasks of each day of the week out in a way that utilizes these three lists to your best advantage.  Keep it simple!  Study the last list for time wasters and unrewarding time spent and try to quit doing these things.  Try eliminating one unnecessary thing a day until the whole list from list number 3 is crossed out. 

Schedule your life in a way that is workable for obtaining your life mission while allowing yourself time to do the daily things you need to survive.  Let your needs take priority over your wants, but do not leave your "wants" out of the equation.  

Schedule all survival tasks like cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc.   Space these things out so that you don’t have to hurry or worry that you will not have your needs for the week met.  Can you delegate any of these things to someone else?  Are there any things on this list that you can afford to hire someone else to do?  Would getting a few things better organized cut down on your routine tasks?  Schedule in organizing sessions until it is all easier.    Make standard pre-printed extra copies of grocery lists that you can just check off what you need and don't need from.  Keep them in a handy place so they are available when needed.  Print out your recipes into a handy book you can keep in the kitchen.  Map out about seven standard, healthy menus for meals that you memorize and can cook without instructions and use them over and over again for your daily meal plans.  Keep standard food items stocked in your pantry and freezer.  Buy extra cleansers and paper goods so you don't have to run to the store all the time when you run out.  Think of easier and more efficient ways to organize your cooking, cleaning and laundry.  Follow through.  Keep it routine so it doesn't get overwhelming.

Allow lots of down time in each day.  This is important!  Block off at least one day of the working week where you do nothing at all after work.  Buy dinner out.  Allow at least two-hours to do anything your heart desires.  Take a bubble bath, read a book, call a friend.  This is your little weekly oasis of peace.  Bask in it.  Don't ever forget to schedule it.  This will get you through the rougher parts of the week.

Each morning get up in time to give yourself some extra minutes just to drink coffee, sit outside on your back deck or front porch, pray, read the paper, sing, have a conversation with your dog; whatever makes your morning start out good!  Don’t even look at that daily to-do list you made until you give yourself your morning time to relax and be thankful for each new day.  Eat a proper breakfast and dress properly for what you will be doing all day.  Then;  consult your to-do list and tackle the items of your daily work. 

When noon arrives, stop and take a break for at least an hour.  Do not run errands, tend to other people’s needs or talk business during this hour.  Eat what is healthy for you.  For me – I’m fasting for lunch, but I’m taking walks outside and enjoying a hot drink when I return from the walk.  Listen to music or invite a cheerful friend to go along and walk with you; but do not make your lunch “task” oriented in any way.  This is your healthy break – take it.  Do not skip it - ever!  Do not let anyone steal it from you.  You need this time of peace and joy for your health. 

Same thing applies to your early morning routine.  Sip your coffee slowly.  Notice how good the fruit tastes that you are putting on your breakfast plate.  Listen to the birds sing as you take breakfast on your patio outside and offer up a morning prayer of thanks to God.  Move as slow or as fast as you please.  Don’t keep anyone’s clock but yours.  Remember all of this before you pick up your daily to-do’s and start to tackle them, then take that long, luxurious time out again at lunch.  Be selfish – it isn’t selfish – it is healthy!  You staying healthy is good for your family and friends.  Take pleasure and do not feel guilty in doing this. 

After the mid-day break – tackle the rest of your list for the day.  Schedule your afternoon and run your errands on the way home from work. Save time and gas money by shopping on the way to and from other places.  Space your afternoon errands out according to need and try to frequent places that are on the right side of the road for you to stop conveniently without fighting traffic.  Schedule your cooking and time in the kitchen each evening; then sit down at the table to enjoy your dinner and do not rush.  Chew slow.  Savor the taste of the food.  Be creative and artistic with dinner when you feel like it.    

Don’t make appointments during this scheduled dinner time.  Ignore the phone and eat at the table instead of in front of the television.  

After you have relaxed for an hour with your food; schedule some time to clean up and do some housekeeping chores; but make it a brief time; not a long drawn out work routine.  Schedule housekeeping chores according to need.  The point is to schedule time for spaced out house work so that you do not feel overwhelmed and have to do everything all at once or in one day at the end of the week. 

Make the last two hours before bed be your real down-time.  Ignore the phone.  Do not turn on your computer or check your e-mails.   Schedule these things into your day time work time.  Do all of those things earlier.  Those last two hours of the evening are about relaxing and unwinding.  

Sip on some wine.  Watch a movie or a show that you enjoy or listen to music or read a book. Do not get into any heavy conversations with family members!  

Take about 15 minutes at the end of this time to think about your next day and make any notes you need to remember.  Look over your calendar for tomorrow.  While you are taking that last glance at your calendar for the day,  stop to write a note to yourself that describes your favorite part of the day that just ended.  Offer up your thanks to God for it.  Let that be your last major thought for the day.   You will come to cherish these notes.  I re-read and review mine at the end of each year to remember how blessed I am!  

Go to sleep in a clean, orderly room and make your bed as comfortable and cozy as possible.  Your bedroom should be an oasis away from the rest of the busyness of the house.  Pamper this room.  Arrange fresh flowers in the space, or fill it with special photos you enjoy seeing.  Arrange the furniture to allow for comfort and ease and order and rest.  Make the colors peaceful and cheerful.   Keep your bath area clean and organized and well stocked.  You can schedule all of this into your daily calendar of routine to-dos.  Keep your clothes closet in order and your clothes ready for each day.  That can save you an hour a day if you do it right.  I wrote a blog that might help with this:  ( http://dancinginseason.blogspot.com/2016/07/the-house-doctor-organized-home-is.html )  

Most of all, keep things as simple as possible.  If you sleep better with a sound machine or music going; please do.  Whatever it takes for you to rest is wise.  If you don’t feel sleepy but you know you need to sleep; try drinking chamomile tea, sipping a glass of wine and/or reading something happy, tranquil and peaceful. Get eight hours of sleep each night.  

Just this sense of order will help you de-stress and feel better, but here is the most important thing of all to remember.  Schedule two days of downtime each week.  One day should be for leisure and fun.  Spend time with your husband or wife.  Visit with your kids and grandkids.  Take time to call friends and do things with friends.  Enjoy your hobbies without feeling guilty or rushed.  Love and enjoy your home.  Love and enjoy your season of life and the seasons of time God has granted.  Spend some alone time if you are feeling crowded and tired.  Make this a day of leisure and doing the things you love without a schedule.   

One day should be for rest and worship.  God has explained to us that He created the Sabbath for men.  God knew we would need one day in seven to re-group, redirect our goals to match God's goals.  He knew we would need to have the time to worship without being in a hurry or pressed to move on to other things.  Don't schedule anything but worship on your Sabbath.  This will allow you to get REAL rest and the peace of God will fill your soul.        

These two days are key factors to eliminating the super-person syndrome in life.  They are SO NECESSARY!  Mark them off on your schedule and keep them for yourself.  When others make plans for you on these days without consulting you, simply look at your calendar and say “Oh – I’m scheduled on that day – could we make it another time?”  That will keep things from stacking up on you and layering until you find you are smothering in other’s people’s plans and having no time for your own mission in life.  


Once or twice a year schedule some vacation time away from the normal routine.  Plan it ahead and don't let anything rob you of this time.  It doesn't have to be grand or expensive; just get away from the routine.  Camp if you can't afford anything else.  Nature is an awesome way to renew your spirit and rest.  

God ordained holy days in the spring and in the fall that almost force you to take time out and away from the normal routine.  Those of us who keep God's Holy Days have come to understand how refreshing they can be!  

Try to find a change of scenery and explore some places where you have never been.  Make memories that last a lifetime.  They will sustain you when you have stressful days later.

Simple things; but they are not easy at first!  Get determined to make every effort to eliminate the stress of perfectionism and people pleasing, no matter how tempted you are to give in and cave to other people’s desires to run your life.  

Remember; learn to say "no" when you need to, schedule your daily life and follow your schedule, take a day for leisure and a day for rest each week no matter what.  Keep it simple.  It is fine to make all those other plans that people want you to help them with; just make the schedule fit your life and your time instead of theirs.  Take a break from the routine of life at least once a year.

Keep working on these things until you don't feel stressed out all the time.  One day you will find all that stress has been replaced by sheer joy.  You will wake up each morning ready to tackle the adventures of daily life.  Now that is life in the Kingdom!  That is what good health is all about!