Sunday, June 2, 2013

Sabbatical

To all of my dear readers:

I still love you, and I haven't forgotten you.  I've been very busy setting up submissions for my novel and organizing some of my many articles to submit for publication. 

I've also had a lot of personal business to tend to.  I am almost done!

I'm on a very short sabbatical but will return shortly, sometime within the next two weeks for sure!

Thanks for reading and please keep checking in.  This blog is about to get much more interesting and much more regular!

Blessings!

Gail Landgraf

Thursday, March 28, 2013

SEASONS - CELEBRATING THE RESURRECTION IN THE SEASON OF EARLY FIRST FRUITS

Way back in 2013 my Dad was ill and having to spend time in the hospital on Early First Fruits.  This article was written then, but I think some people might relate to the chain of events that took place and how God showed me things in spite of the fact that we spent the holy day at the hospital, so here it is for you to read:

It is the time for remembering the early first fruits harvest.  Not the wheat harvest that happens around the time of Pentecost, but the first crop of the year that happens around the time of Passover; the barley harvest.  The original plan and intent at our house was to have a nice dinner with lots of fruit and a festive meal with several friends while we remembered the story of the early harvest and the waiving of the barley loaf, then we would begin the counting of the Omer – the fifty days leading up to Pentecost.
Unexpectedly, my Dad is in the hospital with several health issues.  More than likely we will be having dinner with him from the hospital cafeteria.  I have learned to lean into God’s will whenever and where ever it happens.  For some reason God has once again changed my plans.  I don’t even question anymore. 

All the same, the early first fruits of the harvest will still be in my heart and on my mind, and I will be looking for the ways that God will point this out to me, even in the halls of a hospital.  I’m sure the songs that God put on my heart for this occasion will be playing in my head.  One song is like a prayer to me – a prayer of offering up my whole life to God.  Here are a few of the words that I must give Don Meon and Hillsong credit for writing and singing:

All that I am, all that I have,

I lay them down before you O Lord.

All my regrets, all my acclaim,

The joy and the pain, I’m making them yours.

Lord I offer my life to You, everything I’ve been through

Use it for Your glory.

Lord I offer my days to You,

Lifting my praise to You as a pleasing sacrifice,

Lord I offer You my life.

This beautiful song and the lyrics that I love immediately send my soul searching out the meaning of true sacrifice, the best of the best, the early crop that is offered to God at the first harvest.  It is a joyful time, full of the symbols of Resurrection. 

The ancient people of God would have already removed the leaven from their homes, and celebrated the Passover.  They fully knew that removing the leaven symbolized the removal of sin from their spiritual life.  By the time of the first physical harvest the leaven would be out of their homes and the sins would be confessed before God.  They fully understood the importance of the act of repentance.  They knew along with repentance came the need for a sacrifice.  They brought the first and best of their barley harvest to the priest on the day after the Sabbath of the Passover, the day of Early First Fruits. 

 We too come before our High Priest, Jesus Christ, standing on the right hand of God and offer up the best and the first of our spiritual harvest for Him to wave before God.  We dare not come before spending time in repentance.  We know we can’t do this by ourselves.  We need Jesus to accomplish this for us.  So the time leading up to Passover, when I’m cleaning all the leaven out of my house and thinking of the best I have to offer to the Lord as a sacrifice, I’m confessing sins that God brings to mind as I do the work.  I sweep out the crumbs and crumbs of un-confessed sin flash before me.  I’m reminded to confess and I do.  If I’m going to bring of the best of my life it must be holy, perfect, unblemished.  Jesus has made this possible.  The early people had to bring a physical sacrifice.  Jesus has now fulfilled this act by becoming the physical sacrifice, once for all.  He asks us to remember it and we do this in the appointed time for each season.

The sacrificial offering of Early First Fruits has been required since the very beginning, right after the days that Adam and Eve first sinned.  Once they sinned, God began to talk to them and instruct them about the appointed times for making sacrifices.    

It isn’t exactly spelled out but if you read and study the Old Testament scriptures you will begin to realize that Adam and Eve must have passed down God’s instructions to their children.  It comes very clear as the story of Cain and Able unfolds. 

In those days, when it was time for the early First Fruits offering, Cain and Abel showed up at the appointed place and appointed time, as well as Adam and Eve and all the rest of their children.  Adam and Eve had been taught directly by God.  They in turn had instructed their children that God wanted the best and the Frist Fruits of their labor.  As you read the story it becomes apparent that Adam and Eve had taught their sons that God looks on the attitude of the giver and if the intent of the heart is right, He accepts the sacrifice.  When God accepted the sacrifice it was consumed by divine fire.

If the intent of the heart was wrong the sacrifice would not be accepted, and it would not be consumed but would remain on the altar until someone moved it away. 

One day the appointed time came and the family of Adam and Eve gathered to offer their first fruits before the Lord.  Abel brought the first and the best of his herd.  They were without spot or blemish.  The best.  The lord was pleased and Abel’s offering was consumed by the divine fire.

Then Cain brought the first of his labor, vegetables from where he had tilled the ground.  Only, Cain had eaten the first and the best of the vegetables and fruit himself.  He brought the Lord the leftovers, the ones that he did not want.   They were withered and blemished.  God saw that Cain was selfish with his offering.  God did not consume the sacrifice.

Cain became angry and he was jealous of his brother who had pleased God.  Eventually Cain’s hatred for his brother Abel became so great that he killed him and hid his body thinking that no one would ever know what he had done.

The appointed time came again and Cain showed up at the appointed place with his offering of vegetables.  Abel did not show up.  God asked Cain, in front of everyone where Abel was.  Cain lied and said that he did not know.  But God KNEW the truth and He told Cain his own story, and everyone there heard from God that Cain had killed his brother. 

Cain never repented.

Adam and Eve must have been devastated.  God rejected Cain’s offering and cursed him.  Cain was cast out of the land, never to come before God again.  Because of Cain’s selfishness he lost his soul, his family and his home.

Cain’s children grew up to be wicked and evil.  The curse of their father followed them wherever they went.  This was a case where the wrong attitude about firstfruits made for a very sad story.  Cain’s family began the curse on the earth of the evil and wicked generations.  Their generations after them caused the world to be so evil that God sent a flood to destroy the earth.  Only Noah and his family were saved.

What do you think was the first thing that Noah and his family did when the ark landed safely right on the day of Early Firstfruits in the appointed place at the appointed time?

They built an altar and made an offering to the Lord.  With the whole world washed away, what do you think were the firstfruits of their labor?

It was the gift of themselves, their lives.  The whole family of Noah and the animals with them would be bringing new life to the world.  It was a gift of life, the best gift of all.

God consumed their sacrifice by divine fire because they had brought themselves, all that they had to offer, to start the world all over again.  It was an acceptable offering and God not only accepted it, but He gave them the promise of the rainbow.  Noah’s children taught their children about early first fruits until the days of Abram came.

Abram went into battle with the King of Sodom and defeated him.  On his way back from battle Abram was met by Melchizedek, the King of Jerusalem and the High Priest of God.  Abram recognized that Melchizedek was the High Priest of God, and he gave Him an offering of the best of all of his possessions, his first fruits.  Abram could have given him the spoils of the war against Sodom, but Abram sent those spoils back to the King of Sodom.  He did not use them as an offering.  He wanted everyone to know that God had given him his blessings and that he had not gained them from the King of Sodom.  Abram  gave of all his best and most treasured possessions.  God was pleased with Abram’s sacrifice.  It was accepted.  Melchizedek blessed Abram and fed him bread and wine.

Unlike the sacrifices of Cain, the first fruits of Noah and Abram were accepted before God.

Abram taught his descendants about the first fruits sacrifice.

Abram, who later became Abraham, taught his children to make the offerings to God at the appointed times and the appointed place.  God blessed Abraham’s descendants and made a nation from them.  Sarah gave Abraham a son named Isaac.  Isaac married Rebecca and they had twin sons named Jacob and Esau. 

And so, we could go on and on with the stories of the children of Israel and how they all brought early first fruit sacrifices before God in one way or another, and how their offerings were either accepted or rejected by God. 

In the days of Moses, as the people were leaving slavery and God was speaking to them of how to be His nation, He gave them further instructions.  Let’s look at what God asked on this day so long ago when He first met Moses on the mountain. 

The passage is found in Leviticus 23:10-12:

Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye be come into the land which I give unto you, and shall reap the harvest there of, then ye shall bring a sheaf of the first fruits of your harvest unto the priest; and he shall wave the sheaf before the LORD, to be accepted for you: on the morrow after the Sabbath the priest shall wave it.  And ye shall offer that day when ye wave the sheaf a he lamb without blemish of the first year for a burnt offering unto the LORD.

This was God’s requirement for the early first fruits offering from when Israel first entered the Promised Land. 

So we see a picture here of the people from many generations coming every year to their first harvest of the year.  It was usually a barley crop.  Barley was hardy and grew almost anywhere.  It survived well, struggling for life and abundance even in hard times and rough weather.  Barley bread was known as “the common people’s bread.”  It was called “the bread of the poor” because it was more affordable and easier to grow and buy than the wheat that was produced later in the year.

It was five loaves of barley bread that was found in the boy’s lunch that was given to Jesus to feed the multitudes.  Jesus took it, blessed it, broke it and multiplied it out until there was plenty for everyone.  How significant can the picture be of man offering up barley, the lesser of the crops, the easier of the crops, the least expensive of the crops, much like the offering of Cain.  Man’s offerings could never be good enough.  Only when Jesus came into the picture could this change in the eyes of God.  There were years and years of barley harvests presented before God.

Year after year the first of every crop (usually barley) was brought to the Temple.  The very first bundle of grain they gathered would be taken to the High Priest.  The priest would wave the sheaf before the Lord.  This happened after the Sabbath of the Passover during the seven day Feast of Unleavened Bread.  This was the day of the bringing of the wave sheaf that was to be offered to God before anyone offered or used anything else that God had blessed them with from the harvest.

We now know, unlike the Israelites who had to be obedient through totally blind faith, that Jesus Christ was the true One that would make this wave sheaf acceptable before God.  The timing of this first fruit ritual offering established by God way before Christ came to earth, was perfectly in line and a shadow of the actions of Christ before, during and after the Resurrection.  He became our acceptable first fruit offering of the harvest of spiritual souls for the Kingdom of God.  He and those who rose with Him at the Resurrection were the Early First Fruits of the harvest of souls.

It is said that you must give the wave sheaf in order to make the rest of the crop acceptable for use.  When Jesus presented Himself, holy and pure, before God as our offering, God accepted Him and that made us (the rest of the crop) acceptable for use in God’s Kingdom also.

So, we are not agricultural anymore, and Christ has come for us now and saved us from our sins.

There is no Temple in Jerusalem anymore.

Does this mean we forget these days?

Not at all; this only means that these days have an even fuller meaning than before.  We have even more to be thankful for and to honor God for on this day.  Now we have the fuller celebration that incorporates the true essence of Resurrection.  A little like the family of Noah after the flood, we have new life!

We must do like the generations before us and teach oiur children to teach their children to observe the appointed times for bringing their firstfruits before God as a sacrifice that is acceptable.  I love this dance that portrays this message:
You can find these wonderful dancers giving many silent lessons on You-Tube under the name of Attraction Black Light Theatre.  I love how the dance speaks the story without a word.  I love how they are offering their first fruits offering by bringing their dances before God to be used in telling His stories!

So it is good to pause and think about the ancient people and their spirit of worship.

What was the true heart of the ancient people as they brought these offerings?

The giving of the first fruits is a reminder that everything we have is God’s.

The giving of first fruits does NOT mean:  This is God’s and the rest is mine.

The giving of the first fruits means that I give to others to be used for God and the rest that I have is meant for a lifestyle that glorifies Him. 

Making God a priority in our life pleases Him.

It fills Him with pleasure.  It is His delight and desire.  It is God’s will that we make Him a priority in our lives, that is what is meant by verses 11 – 13 of the earlier passage we read in Leviticus 23.  This says:  “to be accepted for you.”  God goes to great lengths to describe the offering that is to be given.  The purpose for this offering is that it would be acceptable to God on behalf of the nation.

There are two parts to being acceptable before God.  The first involves the perfect sacrifice of Christ.

He was obedient in all things, even to the death of the cross.  Through His death He made it possible for us to become acceptable to God in that through His death we receive His righteousness when we put our trust in Christ as the only way of salvation.  In that way, we become heirs of righteousness with Christ Jesus.  We become acceptable before God in Him, Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God Who takes away the sin of the world.

HE IS RISEN!  PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!

The second part of being acceptable before God involves living consistent with the commitment that is made through the sacrifice.  This was true in the Old Testament days, and it is still true today.

Obedience in this offering and other ritual offerings was demanded and commanded but not just in the ritual of the offering but in all areas of life.

Obedience is demanded.

When it comes down to the facts, there was really only one thing necessary in the Old Testament for an offering to be acceptable for God; obedience. 

That is why in Jeremiah 6:20 and Malachi 2:13 God refused the offering of the people, because they were disobedient before God.  They apparently thought since they obeyed the ritual law they would be able to get God to look the other way during their everyday lives.  Sound familiar?

Please let this never be true of any of us.

Let us instead come before God as obedient servants bringing Him the first fruits of our labor.  It doesn’t have to be money, or material things.  It can be whatever you have to offer before God of your best; prayer, devotion, study, the gift of time, giving of other less tangible resources in some way; but whatever it is your gift to God should be in keeping with the fact that you are bringing in your first and your best offering from the days of your life that have now been redeemed by the blood of Christ. 

God will look on the intent of your heart.  God will see the blood of Jesus that covers you, and you will be acceptable to Him.

We find this concept of Early First Fruits in the New Testament also.

Paul begged the Roman believers on the basis of the mercy of God shown to them through the death of Christ that they would present their bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which was their reasonable service, not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of their mind that they might prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 14:17-19 describes more exactly what is the type of life that is acceptable before God.  It is not arguing over what we should eat and drink, but rather righteousness and peace and joy, specifically, Paul is emphasizing peace between believers in Christ.

Do you need to bring a peace offering of your first and best to God?

2 Corinthians 5:9-10 teaches that whether our service is acceptable before God is the basis whereby believers will be judged. 

The symbol is individualized through the denying of one’s self.  The giving of the firstfruits served as a reminder against idolatry of the heart.  Many of the things that we do or should do serve as a guard against the ungodliness that is constantly lurking around in our hearts. 

In the early days of the feasts of firstfruits the people had been laboring since the end of October or beginning of November when they first planted their barley.  They had watched it sprout up out of the ground, grow tall, and fill out with grain.  But they could not eat of it until the firstfruits were given to God.

Part of giving to God involves the understanding that you must deny yourself.  To deny yourself does not mean to deny your existence.  That would be foolishness.  Nor does it mean that you give up some pleasure or sin for the sake of Christ.   It is simply the same thing as what is symbolized by not eating leavened bread during the 7 Days of Unleavened bread.  It means that your needs, your wants, your desires take a back seat to what God commands.  The message is both to the community and to the individual.  Obedience does not mean giving God something so that you can enjoy the rest without fear of punishment.  Obedience means a denial of your importance in relation to the things of Christ.

Will you deny yourself and follow Christ?

Will you make Him THE priority, not A priority?  Jesus Christ should always be THE priority in your life.

If you can make this decision you will always be bringing Him the first fruits of your own spiritual harvest.  Yes, it is good to give offerings of money, but the money does not matter if the soul is not right before God. 

James 1:18 says:  He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all He created.

Now we must discuss further the greatest offering of Early First Fruits ever given.

! Corinthians 15:20, 23 is the scripture which will guide us on to see how the Festival of First Fruits is fulfilled in Christ.  It tells us that Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruit of those who have fallen asleep.     Christ the first fruits, then at His coming those who belong to Christ.

First fruits is all about Resurrection! 

It is all about the Resurrection of Christ!

Jesus’ resurrection from the dead is the promise that believers, too, will receive bodies in the final harvest that will never again die.  Had Jesus not been raised form the dead, there would be no guarantee for believers to point to and rely upon when they think about the final day that the scriptures point toward.  But, as it is, the first fruit resurrection of Christ guarantees that there will be a final harvest of bodies that will be raised from the dead in similar manner to that of Christ. 

Both Romans 8:23 and Ephesians 1:13-14 speak of this…we…who have the first fruit of the Spirit…Who is the guarantee of our inheritance…

The Holy Spirit that believers have received is the assurance that the future inheritance, that final harvest promise, will be laid hold of and reaped.  We will be thinking more about this in 50 days at the time of Pentecost.  For now we must believe, prepare and wait for those days to pass.  That is another thing that we will begin in this season of Resurrection.  We will begin to count the Omer, the 50 days leading up to Pentecost, which is the day of the Latter First Fruits.  In these days of the counting of the Omer God will teach us the blessings that come from Resurrection. 

Let’s read the scripture that gives us instructions on this observance:

(Numbers 15:17-21)
When you enter the land where I bring you, there it shall be that when you eat of the bread of the land, you shall lift up a heave offering to the Lord.  Of the first of your dough you shall lift up a cake as a heave offering; as the heave offering of the threshing floor, so you shall lift it up.  From the first of your dough you shall give to the Lord a heave offering through your generations.   

The dough that was “lifted up” to God made holy the entire lump of dough that it was taken from.

In the days of the Temple, when the sacrificial system took place, the first fruit offerings were given to the Levites and they became their property (Numbers 18:12.)  After its destruction when no sacrificial system existed the women of the house would throw a handful of the dough into the fire as the first fruit offering to the Lord so that the rest of the dough became holy to Him.  In every kitchen therefore, the hearth became an altar to YHWH. 

Commenting on this passage, the apostle Paul writes in Romans 11:16:  “If the dough offered as first fruit is holy, so is the whole lump.”

Since Jesus gave His Holy Life for us, so too are we made holy before God.

And how do we KNOW He was holy?  The proof is in the Resurrection!  He is Risen!

So on the celebration of Early First Fruits that falls during the 7 days of Unleavened Bread following Passover, we mark our calendars as we say the prayer for the Omer.  Today, as I write we are on the third day of the Omer.  This prayer of the Omer should be said every day until the count reaches 50 and we find ourselves at the day of Pentecost. 

Here is the prayer we will pray today at our table:

BLESSED ARE YOU, LORD OUR GOD, KING OF THE UNIVERSE, WHO HAS SANCTIFIED US WITH YOUR COMMANDMENTS AND COMMANDED US CONCERNINGTHE COUNTING OF THE OMER.  TODAY IS THE THIRD DAY OF THE OMER. 

Counting the Omer each of the days leading up to Pentecost in this manner gets us excited about what God is going to do with our first fruits offering on the Day of Pentecost. 

So basically when we celebrate the day of Early First Fruits we are recognizing that we need to lift our lives up to God, giving ourselves to God for His use.  This is symbolized by the physical act of the heave offering.  This offering only works for us now because of the sacrificial love of Jesus.  Because He offered Himself up on the cross we are able to live free from the bondage of sin.  Joining in with His spirit of sacrificial giving and offering our own first fruits causes a follower of Jesus to sanctify (make holy or set apart) each situation that we are a part of in our daily life, bringing the Kingdom to bear on every level of our society.  In this act of love we find Resurrection to new life!  Jesus was the first, and in our time; the Bride of Christ, the Church.

It isn’t just that figurative language is being used to speak of Jesus’ resurrection, but that the Resurrection actually took place on the exact same day that the festival of first fruits was commanded to be waved before God in the Temple.  New life has happened.  Just like the seed of barley that fell into the earth and brought forth a sheaf, so the seed of Christ’s body was sown in the earth and brought forth new life as it was raised in power. 

May God bless each and every one of you and may He honor and accept the offerings of the first fruits of your lives before Him. 

Remember….


CHRIST IF RISEN!!!!!!!


HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!!!!!!!


CELEBRATE THE RESURRECTION!!!!!!!




Monday, February 18, 2013

THREE GIRLS OUT ON THE TOWN DECEMBER AND JANUARY 2012-2013

Well, I'll bet you thought three girls got tired of meeting once a month for dinner, since you haven't seen me post any of our wild adventures for December or January.  Not at all!

It is just that blogging about winter activities is surprisingly time consuming!  I thought I would enjoy sleeping through winter a bit like a bear in hibernation, only writing one lazy article at a time while waiting for spring.  Actually, as it turns out, we've had Christmas, New Years, Epiphany, President's Day, Mardi Gras, Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday and Lent so far, and we are quickly headed for The Fast of Esther, Purim and St. Patrick's Day.  I just can't write fast enough during the winter season!  It is a struggle to get any of it done in timely fashion, especially since I've also thrown in a few up close and personal life experience articles, so some of it has had to go by the wayside this year.   

With that said, I have to tell you I could never leave out Three Girls Out On the Town!  I never tire of meeting up with my two BFF's for dinner once a month.  They are my anchor in the storm, the calm through the hurricanes of life, and we always have a great time together.  We were out of touch so many years between high school and mid-life that we will definitely have to spend the rest of our lives catching up on the past; but we all have so much going on in the present too, that we are just enjoying sharing our blessings of today as much as catching up on what we missed.  Now I cannot imagine ever letting a whole month go by without seeing them.

In December we met at Applebee's.  It was a great place for our Christmas gathering.  Our budgets were tight but we wanted our meeting to be special anyway, not just any place, so Applebee's fit the bill perfectly.  Well prepared food and good prices in a nice atmosphere.  I'll leave all the politics to you for this place.  My opinion is that I do not believe in forced tipping, yet, I do not believe in waitresses violating the privacy of customers and businesses either!  So you decide, we were just there for other reasons and we thoroughly enjoyed our visit!

We were able to get a booth that was quiet enough for us to talk, and there was some Christmas music mixed into all the usual sounds to enjoy in the background.  I ordered my meal from the appetizers menu and had a drink for under $15.  I had more food on my plate than TC and Bucket who ordered from the regular menu.  I forced them to share.   Our food was great.  Applebee's is consistently good with their fare. 

TC surprised Bucket and I with a beautiful gift of a bracelet and some cute new T-shirts from their business that were sold to support a local charity.  That's TC; she and her husand are two good solid citizens that always support a good cause.  Both the beautiful bracelets and the T-shirts were a sweet surprise to Bucket and I, because we don't have a formal "exchange gifts" thing going on in this group.  The whole idea is to keep things simple on our visits, but any of us are free to surprise the others whenever the notion takes over.   It is really a lot of fun, because you never know when the surprise is coming.   Often and unexpectedly one of us will decide to surprise the others with something that we know would mean something to them.  It doesn't matter when.  We were very blessed because TC was in the Christmas spirit!  I've already had about a million compliments on my bracelet and I've worn the T-shirt a lot.  

We all were in the Christmas spirit actually.  We spent most of the night discussing our family and work plans for Christmas and sharing all the busy church activities that we all have been involved with during this season.  I shared that I was making all my gifts.  I got some great new ideas to add to the list from Bucket who shared some of her sweet Mom's craft ideas with me.  We spent some time thinking about the fond memories of times shared with all our Moms.  TC and Bucket's Moms were probably looking down from heaven and shaking hands while they watched us; glad to see that we were all still getting together once a month.  My Mom is elated that we still meet with one another on a regular basis after all these years.  I constantly am reminded from these two good friends of how fortunate I am to still have both of my parents with me.  I often thank God for this blessing. 

Last year I shared a chapter a month of the cookbook I put together with each of the girls. not that they needed this; they are both probably better cooks than I am; but I thought it would be fun just to share and swap some favorite recipes.  The cookbook was also laid out like a family scrapbook, and these girls know all about my family, so I thought they might enjoy having it.  This year I decided to  share portions of the first novel I've finished writing to each of them once a month.  They are my best critics.  I love sharing my writing with them.  I trust them to tell me the truth and give me good advice.

I can't tell you how many little books and book bags and special things Bucket has passed on to us unexpectedly.  This is a giving group of friends.   

Janaury was a whole different flavor.  We went a bit "country" and met at The Texas Roadhouse.  I found it to be interesting, very reasonable for a steak house, of course you could order specially picked and prepared steak if you wanted, but that would have been a bit pricey.  We stuck to the menu specials.  If you love country music and line-dancing, this is your place.  Those are not my first choices for entertainment these days, but it is fine for a change now and then. 

Our waiter was very attentive and entertaining.  He laughed and joked with us a lot.  I have to say I did love their rolls with cinnomon butter.  Very tasty.

We all were recovering from a very busy holiday season and it was nice just to sit and relax together and share our Christmas and New Year's experiences. 

We discussed the important matter of two birthdays coming up in February, not mine of course.  That leaves two other choices.  Since that was the case, I allowed them to pick the place for February.  Wouldn't you know TC wanted to meet at Carrabas again, and Bucket agreed.  I've told you all about that great restaurant before; so all you will hear from me this time is the best of the gathering and nothing about the restaurant.  I'm not into repeating myself over and over, despite what my husband might tell you.

I would love to get these ladies over to the Southside of town somehow to enjoy some varriations on our meeting places, but it is nearly impossible given the long distance they already drive to meet me once a month.  My hushand and I often enjoy Silvertron's and Bitola's and Slice, and there are a million other good choices if we could travel further when we meet.  I would love for TC and Bucket to share some meals at these places too.  Maybe some Saturday mid-day meeting in the summer when no one has to drive at night.   I'll bring it up.

TC may bring her daughter-in-law with her when we next meet in February.  That will be a blessing for us.  She is VERY pregnant, and we can hear all about the exciting plans for the next child.  Of course Bucket and I will be envious of the fact that TC is about to have TWO grandbabies and we haven't even married off most of our stuborn grown children.  At least I'm holding out hope for one daughter who has enjoyed three years of a great marriage so far.  Maybe one day!

So that is the extent of Three Girls Out on The Town in December and January.  I'll try not to be so late in reporting in February!  So looking forward to our next gathering!



Saturday, February 16, 2013

COME AS A CHILD - THE STORY BEHIND THE STAIRWELL

A new once a month bible study is soon to begin at my house. All are welcomed.
 
The study will be called "Come As A Child."  I'll be sharing the things we discover in this blog from time to time.

The tentative start date is some time in April, and will be announced as we come closer.  There are still a few preparations underway, but I am very excited about this! It is all about relating to God with the heart of a child. 

This may sound a bit strange, but the building of a new stairwell at our house had a lot to do with the behind the scenes beginnings of some of the stories I will tell.  Let's just say the progress of the building and the time of waiting for it to be done provoked a lot of interesting thoughts.  It seemed that the idea for the bible study was evolving as the stairs progressed and maybe it was just coincidence, but I felt like God was teaching me how to teach as I watched those stairs come together.   

How can I possibly explain what I mean?  People might think me crazy to say I've been learning lessons from a stairwell, but it is true!  The rebuilding of this stairwell has given me   such a multifaceted mix of thoughts and little daily observations.  
 
The first thought is all about transitions.  We've been in a long state of transition at our house and the remodeling of the stairs was a big part of the physical transition.  A lot of remodeling has taken place, a whole house in fact, but it was the process with the stairs that taught me so much.  

Even now, there are constant changes happening in the dynamics of our household with our children being grown and out on their own (we are very PROUD of each of them), with ageing parents who are greatly loved, with the church congregation that my husband pastors growing daily in God's grace and love, and with our own careers transitioning toward possibly their last work places before retirement. 
 
  It seems in the changing and refreshing of a tired old  house, we are allowing God to change us too. 

As the stairs get rebuilt and painted, I can feel God rebuilding and repainting the days of our lives. 

As the house begins to look renewed and refreshed, I can see God bringing those same aspects of renewal and refreshing into our daily lives.  

There suddenly is a lot more living and growing in the grace and knowledge of Our Lord Jesus Christ taking place.  Today is much more about faith in and hope around God's plan, and a lot less about making our own plan.  None of this transition phase of our lives has been easy or secure, but strangely; in spite of many unusual circumstances we are finding it very exciting and fulfilling! 

So we have found ourselves, not only completing the stairway in the middle of our home, but without even noticing it we too were moving ever upward on the golden steps of that ladder to heaven that Jacob dreamed about.  God was showing us new glimpses into the life He wants for us to live.  Just like he did for Jacob, but in a different, less dramatic way.
 
Don't misunderstand and think I'm saying you can earn your way to heaven, definitely not; I believe we live under grace, and I don't mean to imply that anyone can ever earn their way to heaven by DOING THINGS, so listen carefully to what I am really saying here.  I DO believe that God has a purpose for each of us to fulfill in our lives, and fulfilling that purpose always draws you closer and closer to the Kingdom of Heaven, to that place where God lives.  God never seems to spell those purposes out in 1,2,3 format, you simply have to trust what He is doing from day to day - no matter what circumstances you find yourself living through. 
 
Funny thing to say I know, but I believe the process of rebuilding the stairs of our home, and all that has gone on around and during this process, has brought us closer to God and helped us to operate more in that invisible kingdom that can't be seen with the eyes.
 
Remember the story where Jacob had a dream as he lay with his head on the rock?  Remember how he saw those steps that reached up to heaven with angels ascending and descending to and from heaven to earth?  We know that Jesus represents that ladder for us.  He is the stairway to heaven. There is nothing that we can do to help ourselves climb up, but having His Holy Spirit dwelling in our lives helps us to overcome the things of the world while He lays down His life which forms the bridge that helps us to move forward.  He is our ladder.  Our life in Him is the spiritual stairway that is being completed in order for us to touch heaven.  Each day that we live for Christ, we experience more and more of the ladder experience becoming complete.  In the meantime, angels are coming and going, blessing us and protecting us while we dwell in the earthly places where we must dwell.  If you never think about this, you won't even notice, but I promise you it is happening all the time.   Jesus is providing that connection with God, helping us to overcome, to be survivors in all circumstances, to be able to see the invisible things of God at work in our daily lives.   
 

So it has been at our house as we worked on the stairs. In a much smaller and humbler way, and a bit like Jacob's dream, we have been wrestling with a change, just as Jacob wrestled with God before he changed his name and made him a nation.  
 
Our changes have come to us both physically and spiritually in the small little realms of the world where we live out daily life; even in the simple process of the rebuilding of a stairwell.  As we watched the stairs come together we began to notice that God was continually blessing us by drawing ever closer and opening up new connections to His Kingdom.   
 
We've removed the debris and the old worn out structures.  We burned them in a fire in the back yard, and now they are completely gone.  We've focused on making a fresh new design for these stairs.   There was something about this process of removing the clutter and focusing on the the big new plan that gave me a clearer picture of God and how He was working in our lives.  This frame in time seemd to open up the doors to heaven and bring in deeper and better connection to the things that can only be shown by The Holy Spirit.   I loved the new eyes!
 
Despite the fact that we both were walking in God's saving grace, we had gained a lot of needless clutter from the world, and we had a lot of broken places from the daily sins that we all commit because we are human.  As we were cleaning out the old wood of the broken and unused stairwell, we were cleaning out the old unfinished parts of our souls that had laid dormant, waiting on God's perfect time.  We laid it all before the throne of God.  He has honored the broken pieces of the lives we offered up to Him.  He has blessed us in spite of who we are.  He knows it all and He loves us just the same and He comes to us with new designs to work on.  New ways to overcome and rebuild.  He burns the old and brings out the new.   It shines in the light of His love. 

And the world keeps on turning on its axis, and no one really sees what is happening; only God knows and we know.  This process of transition is a quiet thing.  There are no real words to explain such a spiritual process, and it cannot be planned.  Everything has a season and only God knows when to turn the world to fulfill his next plan for each of us.  None of the above was our own timing.  It has all been God's timing, and it is all happening simply because God chose to make it happen.  It is not about us, but we have the privilege of participating along with all of God's other children. 
 
We had no idea what was really coming down when we first began to rebuild.  We were simply going about our lives.  Dreaming daily and common dreams.  All at once we found ourselves living in a state of daily renewal, a time of focusing on the things that we perceived to be important to God instead of our own desires.  God had put us in a place of waiting, this can sometimes be called "helplessness."  We were as helpless as children waiting on their Father to tell them what would happen next.  This type of helplessness always brings change.  It comes in the form of renewal.  
 
One simple form of renewal is to let your heart change to that of a little child so that you can experience all the wonder and power of God fresh and new all over again, no matter what your present age.  I think that is where and how God is leading us right now.  In the words of Margaret Feinberg, "it is about being wonderstruck."     


We've had this huge hole in the floor to the main part of our house for a long time now.  It has presented us with some strange comments and circumstances.  How did it get there?  Keep reading, I explain eventually.  

As we proceeded to redesign the stairwell between the upper level and the basement, there was a standing joke told every time someone visited our home.  The minute any visitor stepped inside our front door we would always say: "be very careful and don't fall into the hole in the floor!"  You can't imagine how odd it is to greet your relatives on holidays as they come through your front door with that statement; "Be careful not to fall down the hole in the floor!"

It was a huge problem whenever we wanted to have any group activities.  I couldn't possibly invite people over with that gaping hole in the floor.  It seemed everything I thought to do presented a problem with that huge hole always staring back at me.  I had to try to take family photos around it every holiday. I could make the rest of the house look nice, but there was always that gaping hole.  I just didn't want people to see it in the photos years later. 

We had true friends who kindly overlooked this problem, but it was dangerous; and it was not a bit pretty.   So I had to reconcile myself to waiting on that problem to be solved.  Without a choice, I resorted to making the best use of the time and preparing for the coming bible study in this time of waiting for the stairs to be finished.  Each time I stared at that hole in the floor I just distracted myself with listening to God and working out the next teaching with Him. 

During the time that my husband has been engaged in all this do-it-yourself carpentry, I've been praying my way through each lesson I want to teach and asking God to bless the presentation of it with His Holy Spirit.   As I've  prayed, God has been showing me that we all have this gaping hole in the floor of our lives, just like the hole in the floor where our stairwell needed to be.  He wants each of us to complete that connection.  He wants easier access to His people.  We have all we need for this, we simply have to get to doing the things that it takes to walk up.  That hole in all our lives will sit there forever if we aren't careful to take the time to rebuild.  We must be about the rebuilding of our lives every day, and we must rebuild with the purpose of connection to God.  There are many steps involved in this process and it takes a lot of time and effort, but it can be done.  God never once said the highway to heaven was easy!  He said the gate was narrow and the way was not always easy to see.  How do we find it?  By listening to the voice of our Good Shepherd.  He knows how to bring us to where we need to be. The main thing is to fill the hole in our hearts with Jesus Christ.  He is the true stairway to heaven.  It is all about following the path that He has laid out for us.  Sometimes this is quite a long journey.  Sometimes the navigation is hard.   

Rebuilding solves the problem of navigating through dangerous places.  The dangerous places are basically still there, but now it is easier to navigate through them.  It makes coming closer to God so much easier.  I realized while watching those steps be built that the first step is to come to God with the heart of a child.  Like a child, expect to hear the words of life from the Father, and His Holy Spirit will lead you to know the greatest Carpenter of all; the One who will help you to rebuild every aspect of your life.  You will love the results of His carpentry! He can navigate you through any dangerous place.   

Here is the most crazy thing that happened to us when we decided to rebuild our stairs;  what should have taken us only a few weeks actually took us seven years.  Let that sink in for a minute - SEVEN YEARS! One year where we tore it out and moved down to the basement for awhile, three years of living in the basement while other things were happening;  one year of remodeling other parts of the house and planning our daughter's wedding, and finally a time of moving back into the whole house, but when my husband took another bi-vocational job that had him traveling 5 days a week and preaching on Sunday.  In those last few years he was only able to work on those stairs on busy Saturdays.   

Once again, I can identify with Jacob!  Four of those years we stalled on this task because we were living in our basement (as I will soon explain) but three of those years we were actually living in the whole house again with a jillion and one OTHER THINGS going on.  It just took us a LONG TIME.  

Isn't that just like real life too?  I think of the Israelites wandering around in the desert for 40 years when they could have taken an easier route and arrived in the promised land in no time at all.  But, that wasn't God's plan; He had things to teach them in that wilderness, just like He was teaching us about life as we rebuilt those stairs.  All that time He was also giving me lessons to write down for a bible study.  We waste time, but God never does.  He makes good come from all circumstances, even when we are not aware of it and cannot always see what is happening.   

It is hard and complicated to explain all the time and circumstances around this slow remodeling that we have done; but all I can tell you is God has His own way of keeping time and it doesn't at all resemble our way. 

Has God ever told you to wait on something?   That was the word I kept hearing - "wait."   I watched my husband dutifully struggling with this chore of carpentry whenever he could carve out some extra time.  I got so tired of hearing family and friends ask, "what is taking so long?"  They simply did not understand.  

Yet all the while, just seeing the building process slowly unfold before my eyes made me think of another Carpenter.  This Carpenter is right now in heaven building a home for His Bride.  He isn't in a hurry; He knows that everything must be perfect in it's own time.  He will keep working on the house until the Father tells Him it is time to go to get The Bride.  He isn't cutting corners or wasting materials.  He has a good well-thought-out plan.  He is using the finest materials.  He is carefully planning the home He will share with His family for eternity.  As He works on that home, He has faith that the Bride is also carefully planning and getting ready to greet Him, putting herself in order while He is away.  He is patient.  He doesn't mind waiting on the circumstances to be "just right."

So it is that I've been waiting on the re-building of these stairs.  Sometimes I feel I've spent more of my life waiting than living.  I want to be living in reality, not waiting in unreality; but sometimes God has reasons for all this waiting, and He calls us to wait with Him until His timing is right for what He is asking us to do. 

 Sometimes we wait because we need to spend time in preparation.  There were so many things that had to be done in order to even prepare to rebuild this stairwell.  There was painting; there was sanding, there was the gathering up of the materials and the tools that we needed.     I've too often had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I know the value and the truth of it; so I've learned to wait and prepare well.  Then there is always the right timing.  We had to paint a lot of the boards outside and leave them there to dry.  We couldn't do that on rainy days.  We had to prepare them when the timing was right or we would only have a huge mess on our hands that had to be done all over again.  We were busy enough withhout creating extra work for ourselves and doubling the time it took to get there.  Rain always slowed us down, but then again, rain was a blessing and much needed in the land.  We had to learn how to be patient and wait on the right time and how to use our time that we had wisely.  Sometimes with all this waiting the house was covered in dust!  It was disgusting and the more I cleaned the more of it I saw.  It reminded me of the fact that we all are just human, and let's face facts, we are nothing but dust!  We have to live with one another's dust all the time, but God created us this way and He will see us through. All of the changes He will bring will take time.  Lots of time.  Lots of living in the dust of humanity before we begin to see the glimpses of heaven.  I've learned some secrets about time in this waiting.  I have  been writing these things down in lesson form for the study.  I'm once again, waiting; waiting to present the secrets that God keeps whispering in my ear.  Waiting on Him to say; "NOW." 

In my life as a "lady in waiting" I've had a little dream that has helped me to be patient.  It is a little dream that has evolved over the years of waiting. 

 During all this time of the remodeling  I've had visions of inviting people into my home for a bible study that would begin when the stairs were completely remodeled, then continue on in our home for years to come.  God gave me the idea, but I admit, my mind expanded it a bit.  I could see myself serving food in my elegant new kitchen, seating people in my completely remodeled living room, and receiving people into a welcoming new foyer and hallway.  In this little dream that I had, everyone would be all smiles, and we would laugh and talk and share the blessings that come from studying the scriptures and praying together, and then they would go home and I would bask in the luxury of my newly remodeled living quarters and think what a great time we had shared together. 

My Newly Remodeled Kitchen
 
Please don't laugh - there is more.....

I began to feel even stronger about this dream after my daughter's wedding.  I catered her wedding myself, doing most of the cooking and grocery buying personally, only hiring other people to help present the food and serve at the reception.  I gladly volunteered to do this, and I greatly enjoyed it. It was a great success and all went very well; but it was extremely tiring.  After the wedding I was completely exhausted.  To help with this, my husband took me on a luxurious vacation at The Peabody Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee with part of the money I saved him on the wedding expenses. What a way to recover!

It was a great surprise trip!  We had a blast! We basked in total luxury for a whole week.  I didn't cook, not even once.  I ate the finest foods at the finest restaurants.  We had dessert every time! Every day  I bathed in a whirlpool-spa tub full of warm bubbles and drank champagne as I soaked.  I slept on a down feathered bed that felt like floating on a cloud.  I found chocolates on my pillow each evening.  I was totally surrounded by excellent service, wonderful food and extreme beauty.  I felt like a little child at Christmas in a huge candy shop where I met Santa who gave me every gift I ever dreamed of, then turned me lose in the store with a big huge bag. 

We had so much fun!  It is a time I will always remember.  It was a great transition from a time of a beautiful touching wedding that had taken every emotion I never knew I even had.   We went from very detailed, very careful to very carefree in an instant.  We enjoyed awesome live music every day, even just walking down the street.  It was wonderful.  I decided that heaven might be a lot like constantly living at The Peabody.  As we left, I had the thought that I wanted my home to feel that same way to people whenever they came to visit, just exactly like The Peabody in Memphis.  I had a way to go in order to be able to achieve that goal.

This was a dream that escalated as time went by.  I confess I got a little too consumed by it, and often took it to extremes.   It does all sound a bit perfectionist and stuffy to me now; but that was the dream that God allowed me to dream until He brought me to the place that He really wanted me to be, and to be completely fair, it was more about hospitality and welcoming people than being perfect. 

God has this way of refining our dreams and making them golden.  He was working on mine in ways I didn't know or understand.  He began teaching me that true hospitality can happen anywhere, and it never depends on the surroundings.  It can happen in a prison, in a taxi, on a bus, in an office, in an orphanage, on a street corner, in a coffee shop, on a camping trip, in a little bookstore, in a humble kitchen with unfinished floors, in a local shopping mall, in a back yard, in the grocery store, in a million places!  If God is with you, that is all you need for true hospitality.  You don't have to serve a feast, you can simply offer a glass of water.  You don't have to present a five course meal; a bowl of soup with bread is often all you need.  Jesus himself kept his hospitality very simple, usually only two ingredients; bread and wine.  Most of all, you need God there by your side, helping you to smile and be thankful for whatever He allows you to share with your guest.  I learned that hospitality can be defined in one word; thanksgiving.  I learned this in a more literal way during the time that we were remodeling our home.  Nothing was ever perfect.  I had to learn to operate in spite of that gaping hole in the floor.  I knew God was up to something.  Like Paul, I had to learn to live in grace, accepting the thorns with the roses.  I had to learn to be grateful for what God was teaching me in all the imperfection. 

God kept gradually changing parts of this equation and rearranging the pieces as I waited on the stairs to be finished at our house.   Funny how you visualize things you are waiting on turning out a certain way, then God changes the patterns and pieces and moves a few things around and it all turns out different than you imagined. Not better or worse, but simply different. His ways are higher than our ways and His plans are better than our plans. I can clearly see this in the lessons I learned from the remodeling of the stairs. Hindsight is always 20-20, but it doesn't seem that way while your still in the process.

It seems that God has actually changed our hearts, through the process of all the waiting, even more than we have changed the house.  Somehow, over time, all of the thoughts about the house have become smaller to me; and the thoughts about the people coming and going and visiting in the house have become larger.  Real friendships happen in all circumstances.  I knew those who accepted us for who we were and not the condition of our house were really our closest friends.  I treasured the friendships of all those that God put in our path that loved us this way.  The surroundings seem less significant, and the telling of the stories just the way The Holy Spirit is leading them to be told to those who come and go here seems most significant. 

Children can always sense when their father is at work.  They always want to go with him and help him.  They want to join him in the part of his world that they may not know of yet.  This is a natural inclination for children who love their fathers.  A good father will always teach his child how to work.  He does it initially by bringing them into his own work environment and allowing them to see how he spends his days.  God is at work, and you can believe there are surprises around every corner.  As His child, you will always be amazed!  Nothing is ever quite what it appears to be on the surface when God is at work.   As Eugene Petterson always reminds us; He plays in ten thousand faces and in a million different places.  He has taught me how to play too.  I want to share this wonder with my other brothers and sisters.  It isn't the room that we are playing in that matters, it is simply the things that we will learn and do with Our Heavenly Father and each other inside those rooms that count. 

Offering God's precious gift to mankind is the highest form of hospitality, and it can be presented either in a small humble stable or the most elegant of mansions.  All of us have a million different ways to tell the story, but it is the story that counts.  Each of us have our own individual story.  It is the love behind the stories that binds our hearts together. 

In my waiting, God has been reteaching me all of His stories through the eyes of a child.  They feel so fresh and new, so ready to jump out of the box and into the hearts of all the people who fill any room any where God leads us to be. 


So, you may be starting to see that this whole process of tearing out the stairs and building them back again and remodeling our home has evolved into quite a life experience.   It seemed at the time such an insignificant thing, but you would not believe what I've put on hold just waiting on those stairs to be finished.  It seemed that everything I wanted to do in life could not be done because of those stairs not being finished.  It took awhile for me to understand that the only real problem I had was myself.  While I thought I was waiting, God was simply being patient with me.  I often thought of the craziness of it, yet, I also knew we were still right on track with God's plan for us.  I didn't ever hear God saying "You've made a mistake by tearing out those stairs!"  I simply heard Him saying, when the stairs are complete I want you to start something new.  One of the new things will be the bible study He has put on my heart. 

It seems there could be more new things than I realized though.  To understand you have to go back even further to the very beginning of this story. 

When my husband first felt the call to start his pastoral ministry, we knew we needed to make some adjustments to our lifestyle because of the loss in income we would experience.  He needed to be free from his day job to start up a small church congregation.   

We were a family of six with lots of mouths to feed and a mortgage.  Our four kids were just graduating from high school and thinking about attending college and starting their own careers.  We had a large house with a full basement where we all had lived happily together for many years.  Life had been very busy with raising children and working through our careers. 

My husband had always been a good provider.  At one point we were enjoying that elusive six figure income that most Americans have chased around like a roller coaster.  Those were the days.  He worked for a cookie company.  I had a sign in the kitchen that said "Home is where the cookies are."  My income was the smaller part of this equation. We gave up my income completely for several years, because I chose to stay home while the children were young (that is another story altogether, and this one is getting long enough!)  

After the kids passed the middle school years, I worked mostly for the sake of having good medical insurance so that my husband could be free and unencumbered to climb that corporate ladder.  My salary also helped pay for college tuition.

When the call to full-time ministry came, nobody was handing out free "change-your- focus-and-start-your-life-over-in-a-new-profession" scholarships.  My husband started attending seminary about the same time that some of our children were starting college.  It wasn't an easy decision.  It was a very hard and tiring schedule. We got on our knees and prayed and prayed and prayed.  We sought God's guidance in this step of life that He was leading us into.  We knew life was about to take a drastic change.  If we pursued all of these things that God was showing us, our life was about to take a huge financial dive.  There was no way around it.  

One day I was sitting in our living room praying and had this sense that God was asking me to give up the house.  As I prayed more and more I got the sense that He didn't want me to give up the WHOLE house, just the upstairs.  I also had a sense that it was only to be for three years.  At the same time my husband felt The Lord was telling him to go full-time in the ministry for three years and then work bi-vocationally again, with both a career and a ministry.  He had the feeling that originally he needed to spend three solid years focusing on starting a church congregation, then go back to a job as he remained the pastor when it was firmly established.   God was showing us separately a three year plan.  We were a little astonished when we related this to each other and saw the parallel.  This sounded strange to me at first, but God was showing us both what he wanted us to be doing for the next three years and as we prayed further, a plan evolved.

We managed this drastic change in income with me working full time and changing our house into two completely separate duplex apartments.  We would live in the downstairs and rent out the upstairs.  It seemed to be a bit drastic and crazy, but it was doable.   

Our son had long been out of the nest, leaving to live on his own right after high school graduation, but our three grown daughters were either in college or just starting out in their careers.  We agonized and dreaded telling them about this change.  Surprisingly, when we announced it to them, they decided they wanted to join together as roommates and rent from us!  There were a lot more details here, but I won't bore you with all of them.  It was a timely plan that worked well for everyone, even though most of our friends and neighbors thought we had lost our minds. 

We gave our three daughters the complete upstairs and we took the complete downstairs.  Everything was made totally separate, including removing the stairs and patching the hole in the floor with flooring and carpet that matched what was already there.  Everyone had their privacy, and that was how our stairwell originally disapeared about seven years ago.
 
 
Sharing small family gatherings in our basement apartment.
 
 
   I joked that I might put a wooden sign with an arrow painted on it in the front yard pointing to our door saying "the old folks live down here."

The girls got very cozy in the upstairs of the house, and we pulled this off for three years exactly.   It seemed that everyone was comfortable and satisfied for the moment.

The three girls divided the amount of our mortgage three ways among themselves and paid it to us as rent each month.  We put one daughter in charge of collecting the rent and bringing it to us on time. She got a small percentage off her portion of the rent for handling this chore.  That worked well, we didn't have to hassle with our relatives/renters.  That took care of the mortgage on the house for us (which helped us be financially able to give up my husband's day-job salary,) and this arrangement was actually cheaper rent than a small apartment on campus or near work for each of the girls.  Everyone saved money and everyone won! 

We lived very frugally, staying home most of the time, cooking our own meals in the little mini-kitchen we built in the basement, driving used vehicles and not using credit.  We continued to pay for tuition for four years of college for whoever  of our children that chose to go.  We paid all the utilities, the homeowners insurance, the property taxes, and we took care of the maintenance of the whole house.  Somehow, God provided this for us and saw us through these days. 

It worked!

 It gave time for the emotional transitions of the ever changing family dynamics for all of us.   This made college much more affordable.  The girls were able to “practice” living on their own with us still being in the background to help out a lot.  My husband was also able to enjoy enough free time to establish a great little church congregation that still thrives and grows today because we were willing to make that simple little change in our lifestyle for a short while.  He took on side jobs as a handyman in the community for extra money too. You would be amazed at how many people need odd jobs done and can't find anyone trustworthy to do them.  The only thing wrong with that was that it distracted him from doing MY odd jobs.  Oh well, we survived it and were grateful.

I would not recommend this plan to everybody.  It was just God's timing and provision for our lives in the time in which we found ourselves.  We were all actually very comfortable once we ironed out the kinks of this plan.  It WAS a sacrifice none the less, but one that God honored. 
 
Hence the purpose of my telling you all of this in so many, many words and phrases: 

In the process of all this change, in ripping out the main stairwell of our home,  the story behind the stairs began to unfold.  God began to show me so many hidden lessons in this one little part of the house.  After awhile, like a child begging her father to tell her "just one more story," I began to expect a lesson from God every day. 


Temporary covering of the stairwell in the girl's part of the house.
That temporary covering on the stairs reminded me of how the blood of Jesus covers our earthly bodies until we see God face to face and He transforms us into our heavenly bodies and into what he originally created us to be.  That will be whenever He says we are ready.  It is not up to us.   Until that time arrives, Jesus covers us and keeps us safe and protects us from our own faults and imperfections.
 
The day finally came when we took back the whole house as the girls happily moved on with their lives.  We reopened the area in the floor for the stairs and put up a temporary skeletal structure that we could walk up and down on until we could get around to the great new design of the stairwell.  We decided to transition the look of the whole house from traditional to modern.  My husband worked very hard at this plan of restoration, and he did a beautiful job of designing and rebuilding the whole upstairs of our home.  By now though, he was back to a bi-vocational life.  Unfortunately, the job he found involved travel.  He was gone most of the week days every week, and did not have enough time to give to the remodeling of our house.  I was left dealing with this state of the transition every day.  I tried to have some sense of normalcy in it all, but it wasn't easy.  It was a very slow process, and we had to do the work on weekends only.  Actually Saturdays only, because Sundays were pretty much full days in the ministry that was now thriving and growing.

Cooking in my new kitchen.
 
So, the whole process took a lot of time and patience on our part.  The first year we took back the whole house we were also pretty distracted and consumed with planning one of our daughter's wedding.  The work on the stairwell got pushed aside.  We worked on remodeling the upstairs kitchen first.  I catered our daughter's wedding myself.  I needed the larger upstairs kitchen to do this.   Finally the kitchen was complete. and it was wonderful!   I loved everything that we did.  It was the perfect kitchen I've always dreamed of having.  I flourished in this kitchen, enjoying all kinds of gourmet cooking and baking. Everyone benefited.

Next we looked at the flooring in the main part of the house and decided that it needed to change before we put in a new staircase.  My husband set about ripping out the old well-worn carpets and laying down hardwood floors. He was very busy working a full time job again, running a full time ministry, and somehow he added building hardwood floors into the schedule.  The floors took about a year to get completely finished because he traveled during the week.  We had to live on them half finished for awhile.  Finally they were done in the living room, hall, kitchen and dining area.  They looked beautiful! 

Now, after two years into moving back into our whole house we were ready to tackle rebuilding those stairs.  I'm thinking the whole two years, soon the remodeling will be done, and I will start the bible study God has put on my heart called "Come As a Child."   I kept hearing Him say to me as I prayed:  "wait until the stairwell is complete."  So I waited. 

I wrote the lessons while I waited.  I also finished writing a novel God put on my heart about the gates around Jerusalem.  I am now in the process of looking for a publisher.  I started blogging, and God also gave me ideas for more novels to write.  I have began writing three other novels, and a companion book to the first novel.  I also wrote poetry as I waited and waited and waited.

Looking back, all the waiting time was not a waste at all.  It actually helped me to ease into the writing career I have always planned to take up whenever I retire from my present profession.  Maybe one day I'll even get paid for it!  

In the meantime, we painted and plastered and changed furniture and ripped out wall paper and scraped ceilings and kept stalling on finishing those stairs. 

Then came the day when my husband's company closed down unexpectedly, leaving us to live with a drastic cut in pay.  The source of income from the little church congregation also changed about this same time.  The congregation that had begun to pay a decent salary and actually had grown in numbers and personal ministries, now had less money coming in.  The personal ministries had increased and thrived, but income of the people had changed over the years from high-end well paid professionals to hard working, mostly service industry hourly workers or blue collar workers with a large mix of the unemployed and underemployed; those in life transitions, or elderly on fixed low incomes.  These people tithed more from their time and energy than their incomes.  God was using them in a mighty way from that too!   I was sure God was pleased with both things, and we remained thankful for what was taking place in the ministry; but my husband was now unemployed and working basically for free as a full time minister in a busy and thriving ministry.  He couldn't give it up, would not even think of it, so he just offered up His time to God as an offering.   He didn't mind giving the free time to the church, but he was anxious to find another bi-vocational job to support us. 

My company also experienced cutbacks because of the economy.  I found myself working for 20% less than I had hired on for and also a big cut in benefits. That family coverage medical insurance I had always worked for was now taking a huge chunk out of my take home pay.

At least I still had a job!  I was thankful for that.  I needed to be making more money; but I was enjoying the work I did, and was also happy to have eight extra hours of free time now to spend at home each week.  A minister's wife stays very busy, especially if she has four children, aging parents, a house to care for and a job and is pursuing a career as a writer on the side.  I relished the time more than the money.  I needed both!  

During this strange time my heart was still wrapped up and consumed with the writing of the lessons God was still giving me every day. I used most of that extra time at the keyboard typing out stories, novels, bible studies and blogs that honored God and proclaimed the gospel.  It was my passion, but we quickly came to realize that  we were headed for a change in lifestyle because of our loss of income.  My husband's job searches just were not panning out for some strange reason that we could not understand.  We began to pray about this, asking God for help.  This seemed like a strange turn of events for us. 

In this long time of prayer, I began to see a pattern of answers.  God was calling us to simplify our lives.  We no longer needed the big house.  We had learned how to be hospitable anywhere, any time.  The kids were grown and happy on their own.  We had accumulated so many material things that were simply useless and no more needed.  It was taking all of our time and energy to keep the house and the "things" up to par.  Constantly working on the house wasn't our first choice as a way to spend our free time anymore.  Our focus in life had completely changed! 

We were tired and weary of all the remodeling process.  God had shown us many other things to be doing with our time and energy.  Our home's property insurance and  taxes had been rising steadily every year until they felt very expensive now.  The utility bills could be cut in half if we lived in a smaller space.  Two of us didn't need so much space. 

As much as we have loved every minute of life in our present home, I began to think that maybe God was about to move us on to the next place He had in mind for us. 

We had tried so hard to hold on to the familiar, but God was going to ask us to venture out into the unknown.  I had not anticipated this at this stage of life.  At first it felt strange and out of order to me.  I kept thinking of Sarah and Abraham and their story of leaving all they knew and venturing out in an unknown journey.  I wrote it down in a story for "Come As A Child."  I also wrote about "Creation" and "Time."  Stories were pouring out and I was writing them down as we considered what God wanted us to do next.  I think at this point I would have been content to sit still in a room with a word processor and just write forever.  God didn't let that happen!  It was good to write the stories, but they needed to be told.  Like the story of The Velveteen Rabbit, these stories needed to be shared to be real.

Though hesitant at first, I slowly began to let go of the house in my heart and mind and began to explore the joy of the next great adventure. 

God was preparing our hearts, but we still had some homework to do yet.  Those stairs.....they had to be finished before we could sell our house.  We had a lot of loose ends, some more painting and patching and cleaning out to do before we could downsize and move into a smaller more efficient space.  This whole process might, once again, require a lot of time.  We set to work. We needed to finish some things, we needed to sell some things, we needed to give some things away.  There was a lot to organize.

Then one day, finally - after years of actually waiting - the stairwell was built!

I thought it looked quite elegant and oh so beautiful!  More beautiful than I had even imagined.  Those old longings came back, those voices in my head that told me "I want to live here forever - this has been my home for so long now and I love it here!"  I had to learn to turn those voices off and listen to what God was showing me.  We were stuck in this time warp of finishing all the last touches on the house, remodeling and getting it ready to put it on the market for sale. 

We were looking for the next place in our minds, keeping in mind that God was calling us to simplicity.  We knew the main focus was to free more of our time for the ministry and enjoying the last years of our lives here on planet earth with less material things and more spiritual things. 

God had given us the house exactly when we needed it for raising a large family.  It had been quite a blessing.  He had provided us with a great investment opportunity for our future all the while.  Our mansion was being built in heaven, but in the meantime, another  little sukkah was waiting for us somewhere. Perhaps moving to the temporary earthly sukkah would help us prepare for the real mansion that waits for us in eternity. 

God reminded my child's heart that a sukkah is simply a temporary dwelling.  Even God dwelled in a temporary place as the children wandered through the wilderness.  Eventually there was a permanent tabernacle, but there was a movable one that could be disassembled at any point in the beginning.  It is the true nature of God to always be moving forward.  How could I complain?  Even God experienced this in His Own dwelling places!  I took courage from those stories.  I wrote them down in lesson form.

So, the stairwell is done now. 

We are still in the transition toward putting our house on the market and asking God what is next.  My husband has finally found good work after a two year wait. What a blessing! 

We still have many loose ends to clear up.   Who would start a bible study in the midst of all of this? 

Well.......I.......would! 

I would, simply because I've learned to listen to God's voice.  He told me to start the study when the stairwell was finished.  It is time!  NOW!!!  I'm done with asking why, I've moved on to trusting with a lot of blind faith.

So what if we sell the house in the middle of this study?  We will simply invite everyone to come to the new place when we get there.  It can't be too far away, the flock we shepherd with The Shepherd of our souls is nearby. That isn't so complicated. God could even change our mind about moving, who knows?  I have learned to wait and see.  But in the waiting, I have also learned that there is a time to move forward into the destiny that God has planned for you. 

No matter what, I'm excited! 

I look at the beautiful stairs and I see a story of a life well lived, and my heart treasures the story of a family that has lived and loved deeply.  It reminds me of all the awesome ways I've been blessed by having the privilege of being a wife and raising four wonderful children in this wonderful old home.  I thank God for those years.  They have been rich and wonderful.  Those years are one of the main purposes that God created me for.  I know this now, looking back, looking at the finished stairwell. 

I also know there are more stories out there that have not yet been told. 

Before me now I see steps that could lead up, or could lead down.  I've been both places in this life; up to the mountain and down through the valley, as we have lived out our days.  God has taught me in all the times, good and bad, rich and poor, needy and blessed.  I have experienced it all, and He has shown me rich lessons to share through it all. 

I have written them down and am ready to share.  Who will come join me to look at worship through the eyes of a child? 



The stairwell is finished, but God has only just begun to use the blessings of the lessons He showed me as we built them. 

  

Yes, the stairs are finished.......and another page is turning.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

 

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