COME AS A CHILD - LESSON 46 - WHO CAN KNOW THE MIND OF GOD

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

Hagar was pregnant with Abram's first child.  She let this change of events go straight to her head.  Some people do not do well with the way they handle success, especially the first time that they taste it.  She had to brag, and she had to flaunt her new found power over her situation with Sarai.  She had to get into Sarai’s face with it.  She became very legalistic in her thinking.  That was probably Hagar's biggest mistake.  She went from being a sweet, humble, agreeable young servant girl looking up to her mentor to being a prideful, arrogant, boastful, haughty concubine. 

Perhaps Hagar even took every opportunity to embarrass Sarai publicly.   Perhaps she gossiped about her behind her back.  Perhaps she was angry and rebellious in her words and actions toward her.  Perhaps she openly stated to Sarai that she would never be the true mother of her child.  Who knows what could have gone on? Perhaps she threatened Sarai’s life?  Things would have really been easier for Hagar if Sarai accidentally had a fatal fall and never recovered. 

This is all speculation of course, no one really knows everything that went on in those tents during those days.   From everything we have read and studied about Sarai, it is clear that these situations were not common occurrences in her household before Hagar was with child.  

The beautiful, peaceful, joyful atmosphere that surrounded Sarai’s tents as she baked her bread and welcomed her guest with extreme hospitality must have shifted a whole lot during this time.  A different kind of cloud must have settled over the area where these two women dwelt, and Abram must have spent a lot of time looking after the flocks instead of sitting in the tents.   

It is possible, in all of her years as the wife of Abram, that this might have been the first time Sarai had ever encountered pure rebellion, or anyone who hated her.  She must have stewed inside as she considered how to handle the situation that was causing great grief to her once well-run and peaceful household.    

The scriptures tell us that Sarai “humbled” Hagar.   It is the same word used later in the scriptures when the children of Abraham became slaves in the land of Egypt; they too were “humbled.”  Your sins often come back to haunt you even when you are living under grace.  Nothing is ever truly hidden or unseen even when God chooses to give unconditional mercy.   The punishment that Sarai dealt out as she punished Hagar was the same punishment that was many years later used against Sarai’s ancestors in the wilderness. 

  

What this word “humbled” means is not specifically clear; but it was severe enough for Hagar to decide to flee.  She took off for the dessert hoping to make it all the way back home to Egypt.  It was a very dangerous and courageous thing for a young girl expecting a child to do.

As she walked through the hot dessert road on the way to Shur, following the trade route that passed through the Sinai peninsula, a girl who was very thirsty, very tired, emotionally wrought and very pregnant; she cried out to The Lord.   The Angel of The Lord found her and asked her:  “Hagar, slave girl of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?”   Hagar didn't seem surprised to be hearing from an angel.  Apparently  she was already used to seeing angels in the tents of Sarai and Abram.  She looked up and  told him she was running away from her mistress, Sarai.

By the time the angel spoke with Hagar, who had stopped next to a spring of water, she had almost made it all the way back to Egypt.  The angel told her that she would have a child from which would come a nation, but she must first return to Sarai and have the child among the Hebrews.  The angel told her that her son would be named Ishmael because the Lord had "heard" her cries.  The name Ishmael means "The Lord hears."   The angel also told Hagar that her son would become like a wild donkey; that he would be against everyone and everyone would be against him.  

When she received this astonishing advice from The Angel of The Lord and learned that the child she was bearing would become the leader of a nation Hagar named this messenger of God El Roi, “The God Who Sees Me;” and then she took his advice and returned to Sarai; taking comfort in the fact that someone had at least noticed her plight and come to her aid and given her a reason for hope.  She had been heard and she had been seen by God.  This must have given her the courage she needed to go back.  

Despite Hagar’s return, the bad feelings between Sarai and Hagar went unresolved. 

You have to wonder what went on in the mind of Sarai from the time they discovered Hagar was missing until she returned.  Sarai must have wondered if she had dealt too harshly because of the severe punishment she had inflicted upon Hagar.  Do you think she could have repented of this?  Did Sarai regret how harshly she treated Hagar?  She might have wondered how she would be able to face Abram with the news that she had chased off the woman who bore his only child.  Was she going to tell him she had run away for no reason?  Sarai must have been very afraid and confused about what to do.  

Perhaps since both women desired to please Abram it is possible that they never even told Abram what transpired between them.  It is possible that Hagar returned before he even found out what was going on.  Neither woman would have had any good reason to explain to Abram what business had taken place.  Each of their stories would have been different anyway, because both of them had a totally different perspective.  Who would Abram have believed?

The sadness that Sarai had felt from being barren must have paled in the sadness that she experienced in the time of watching another woman bear her husband’s child and give birth.  An intended time of joy must have turned into a sad time of silent, lonely mourning for Sarai, and to make it even worse, she now had no close friend to talk to and share the hard times of her soul.  Her friendship with Hagar was over and Abram would not want to listen to these things without knowing how foolish a choice Sarai had made and what a predicament they had been put into.  She would only make things worse by sharing her feelings with him now.  Her only choice was to grieve alone and without the comfort of a friend by her side to see her through.

Hagar once again took her place in the tents of Abram and concentrated on the fact that her son would one day rule the tribe; since Sarai did not have a child and it appeared that she never would.  Perhaps Hagar taunted Sarai with threats of running away again every time Sarai tried to put Hagar in her place.  Sarai’s actions would have definitely looked selfish to the public, no matter how deserving Hagar might have been.  Perhaps this kept Sarai’s new found emotions under control for awhile.  Perhaps in this time Sarai did what she should have done all along.  Perhaps she turned to God and repented of her mistake.  Perhaps she listened more carefully to hear the voice of God in her life again.  Perhaps she sought solace in the only One who had loved her so perfectly and unconditionally all along.  Perhaps she learned to never take this for granted again.   

   

Hagar, at least to the outside looking in, must have been quieter and more humble, but in her heart, she was not humbled at all.  She still hated Sarai, and she probably became even more determined to replace her.  She was patiently waiting for HER day to arrive.  The older her son became, the more the importance of Sarai would diminish in the tribe and the eyes of Abram.  That may have been in Hagar’s thoughts as she lived out her days with determination.  As we said before, ambition seemed to be Hagar’s strongest characteristic.  Yet, she had seen The Angel of the Lord and this time He had come to Hagar, not Sarai.  Perhaps this had softened the heart of Hagar too.  Perhaps, now that she had experienced a personal encounter with God and was sure that God could see her and cared about her; maybe she too was trying to lean more into listening to the will of God for her life.  Who knows?  It does seem that built into every one of us is the instinct to call on The Name of God when we are at our lowest point and no one else can help us. 

Abram was 86 years old when Hagar gave birth to Ishmael.

For fourteen years Ishmael was seen as the future heir of Abram.  He was the first born son, which usually assured inheritance.  Hagar and Ishmael both become very comfortable with this whole idea.  They thought nothing at all could rock their world and take away the prospects that their future held.

But there was one thing that could change everything; God had a plan that He had been unfolding despite all this humanity taking place from the beginning of God's plan to the end.  He always keeps His plans and purposes, but not always on our schedule or in the way we think it will happen.  He is outside of time and we are inside of time.  The time we spend inside of time as human beings was made for our growth.    If we are wise we chose to become more like Him during this time.  Some chose this, some do not.  Some chose this some of the time, but not all of the time. 

All of the tents of Abram were waiting and watching Sarai and Abram and Hagar.  What would their choices be from here on out?

COME AS A CHILD - LESSON 45 - LAW AND GRACE ABIDING IN THE SAME TENT

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

When Sarai complained to Abram that Hagar’s attitude was his fault he looked at her and said “Hagar is your servant, deal with her as you please.” 

This was very true.  Sarai was the legal owner of Hagar, not Abram.  We know now that no person should EVER under any circumstances own another person and under God's grace we all are free people, but in those days this was not known and Hagar had been given to Sarai by Pharaoh, but also as the first and chosen wife of Abram,  Sarai by law would always be in charge of and over Hagar as the second wife/concubine through the customs and laws of the land at that time.  

Perhaps Sarai was just trying to see how much Abram really remembered this and took it to heart.  He had probably paid a lot more attention to Hagar than Sarai had expected.  Maybe she wanted to hear him say, “she is simply your servant, you are still my wife and the main woman in my life – I don’t care what happens to her; I only want you to be happy.”   Of course Abram didn’t state it exactly that way, but he made it plain to Sarai that she was in control of this situation that she had created with her alternative plan. 

The scriptures say that Sarai dealt with Hagar harshly.  To deal with someone harshly seems to imply abuse.  Was it possible that Sarai, who had always been known to be a kind, gentile and godly woman had abused someone because of jealousy?  We do not know for sure, but jealously can turn saints into sinners.

Jealousy often turns to hatred.  Hatred that is stored up in a heart will, in most cases, eventually cause a person to sin.   Suddenly these two emotions were more prevalent in the life of Sarai and in the life of Hagar.  Each woman was equally guilty.

Charles Spurgeon once preached an excellent sermon on this subject of Sarai and Hagar.  With the profound words he uttered way back in 1856 he pointed out  the differences between  a covenant of law and a covenant of grace.   He used the lives of Sarai and Hagar as examples to illustrate the characteristics of both covenants.  His exact words were:  “one of the most difficult things in the world is to discriminate properly between law and grace. He who knows the difference, and always recollects it—the essential difference between law and grace—has grasped the marrow of divinity. “  

Mr. Spurgeon used Hagar as an example of men living under the law.  As we all have seen, following the law is a very wise trait.  Many men seek to do so, and it becomes very apparent that those who chose to follow the law have much more quality to  their daily lives because of it.  We have noted that Hagar recognized the difference in the house of Abram and the house of Pharoah and chose to go live in the house of Abram.  In Pharoah's house there was not the same order, not an observance of the things of God that the law spells out for us.  Hagar chose to put herself under the law because she saw the good that comes of living under the law.  It was a wise choice, until she forgot herself to follow through till the end.   Adam in the garden had everything that he needed and wanted until He broke the one law that God had given to him:  “Do not eat from this tree or you will surely die.”  Everything is fine and dandy in keeping the law until one slips up, gives in to temptation and sins by  breaking  a commandment; then there is nothing but death to look forward to in the end.  

The next covenant God made with men after the one God made with Abram was the covenant of the law which was given at Sinai.  That covenant was conditional and totally depended only on what men did.  They could follow the law and live, or break the law and die.  This is so obviously illustrated by the life of Hagar.  She was a slave to the law of the land and the times in which she lived.  Everything depended on how she kept this law.  She prospered only from her own actions and the things that she did.  She could keep the will of the household of Abram and  Sarai and continue to live in peace and comfort, or she could rebel and suffer the consequences of the dangers of death in the hot and barren desert.  Everything that happened to Hagar depended upon her doing the right thing.  If she did right she would live, if she did wrong she would die.  She was a slave to the law that ruled over her.  This is a perfect picture of the covenant of the giving of the law that God later made with man.  It was all very conditional.  It had everything to do with what men did and absolutely nothing to do with what God did.

Abram, on the other hand, had already been given an unconditional covenant from God; one that involved a sacrifice and a promise of God’s unconditional love and grace.  Nothing depended on what Abram did; everything depended on what God did.  

As Abram's first and chosen wife, Sarai was living under this same covenant given to Abram.  She was living under grace, not law.  The sacrifice had been given to bear the sins and iniquities of Abram and Sarai long before Hagar had entered into the picture.   God had walked between the pieces of the sacrifices on the altar and made promises to Abram; promises that included Abram and Sarai but did not include Hagar (who would always be under the headship of Sarai which meant any blessings to Hagar would come indirectly through Sarai), even though God graciously cared for and showed mercy to Hagar because she too was now the second wife of Abram.  As the second wife, Hagar was living under completely different legal consequences than Sarai.  Hagar's consequences contained conditions.  Nothing about her fate depended on God, everything depended on what Hagar did.   She was in control of her own destiny.  It was to Sarai that the promises had been made.  These promises  to Sarai were unconditional.   Nothing about Sarai's fate depended on Sarai's actions.  Her destiny was totally out of her own hands and only in control of God.   Everything that happened to Sarai depended solely on God's mercy and kindness toward her.  

 Everything Hagar did depended on her own works and her own efforts; but everything that Sarai did depended only on the unconditional covenant that God had made with Abram to bless him and his family.  Sarai, though she sinned, would have pardon.  Hagar would also be blessed, but not in such an unconditional way.  Hagar would not be pardoned if she did wrong; she  would always be punished for her sins.

 Just as Sarai came into the story of Abram long before he ever knew of Hagar, we can also see that long before God gave the law on Sinai, He gave a covenant of unconditional grace to Abram, his family and all of his descendants.  We can see here that through God's wisdom grace actually came before the law, which is something that many overlook when they are thinking about God's covenants with mankind.  The picture of all of this is played out in this story of Hagar and Sarai and the covenant that God made with Abram. 

In God's original plan, Hagar (who represents the law) was never intended to be a wife.  She was meant only to be a handmaid.  This is a perfect picture of the working of the law among mankind.  Men were never intended to live under the law.  It (the law) was only supposed to be used as a servant to men, to help them, to guide them, like a handmaid.  

Sarai, the picture of grace, was the actual first and chosen wife.  By bringing Hagar into a place where she was never intended to be, Abram and Sarai mistakenly and wrongly made a case for works instead of grace.  The laws of God did not need to be given to Sarai; she had them already hidden deep inside her heart.  They were not done out of duty by her or as a burden, but done in joy as a form of worship.  But things were different for Hagar.  Hagar had to be shown the laws of God; they did not come naturally to her.  She had to be taught, sometimes harshly, the things she did not know that were not natural in her spirit.  

This covenant of unconditional grace between God and Abram was made stronger and richer many years later through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  This was a much greater sacrifice, a perfect sacrifice, one better even than the one of Abram and much better than the one from Sinai called The Law.  The law was never intended to save men; it was only designed to be a temporary handmaiden to the covenant of grace; a way to help men find salvation and mercy and ultimately; grace.   These facts are seen clearly in the details of the newer and better covenant of Christ.  

Had man never known the law, they probably would never have come to know Christ.  It was this imperfection of mankind, this inability to keep the law perfectly, that created the necessity of the sacrifice of Christ and which eventually drew mankind to Him.  The law has worked in all who know Christ just as the handmaiden, Hagar, worked in the life of Sarai.  Being the handmaiden was useful and helpful but it did not qualify her as the wife of the blessed child.  The law is meant to be helpful in leading to salvation, but it is not meant to bring the gift of salvation.  Sarai would always be the true wife.  Grace would always be and always has been the eternal gift of God to His people who seek Him with all their hearts.  We all try to follow the law and we all fail.  We need grace, there is no way around it.  It is the grace of God that brings us salvation and eternal life.    

When we know this and learn how to use the law properly; for the cleansing of our hearts, just as the handmaiden cleaned the tents of Sarai; we begin to see how to live in constant grace.  Sarai had to be responsible and put Hagar in her proper place in order to live in accordance with God’s perfect will.    Grace will always put the law into its proper place.  But the law will always strive to be the head mistress over grace,  just as Hagar struggled to lord over Sarai.  Sarai, like the grace of God, ruled her household with a firm hand.  The mistress of the law can never rise above the grace of God.  One will always be a mistress and one will always be a wife.  Grace always has and always will prevail in the end. 

Just as Sarai dealt harshly with the haughtiness of Hagar, we too must deal harshly with those who would live in the law minus grace.  We must take every step to keep grace in control of the household of our souls and law in its proper place underneath her.  

Sarai probably wanted Hagar to flee, to go to the wilderness.  Perhaps she even hoped to drive her out.  We too, who have known the beauty of the grace of God in all its fullness, must not surrender our way of life to those who would only live by works alone.  Works alone, without love and faith will not keep a house happy.  Grace must always prevail.  It has been the plan of God from the very foundation of the world when Christ first decided to give us the covenant of grace through His own precious blood.    Grace was the plan all along, long before any altar was even built.

Sarai treated Hagar harshly, and so will those of God who have to deal with those who only trust in the works of their own hands and minds and do not leave room for God's unconditional love.  

We have seen from the beginning of their story how Sarai and Abram were constantly reminding everyone who came and went as guest in their tents that ALL things came from God and nothing about Sarai and Abram was to be praised or thanked.  They would remind all who thanked them to only direct their thanks to God.  This is because God’s spirit lived inside both of them.  Their lives and all of their days were simply an act of worship.  If they breathed, they worshipped.  Not so with Hagar.   Hagar, in all her selfish ambitious learning had not even grasped this concept that was being lived out constantly before her eyes both day and night.  She thought that she had the power within her own flesh to make things legal and right.  Law can never completely do this, only grace is able to accomplish it.  Grace is a gift from God, no man owns it and only God can grant it.  To receive grace, one must seek God’s face and ask  for it. 

Sarai’s attitude, no matter how much she sinned, would always win out above Hagar’s.  Even though both Sarai and Abram had temporarily forgotten for a short time and made a huge mistake, they had before and after this time always sought the face of God.  If you belong to God His grace allows for mistakes in judgment, because in the end those who have the spirit of God living in them always return to God. 

As Spurgeon so eloquently put it; “law is the road which guides us, not the rod which drives us.”    The law, like the picture of Hagar in this story, is good and eloquent when it takes its proper place.  If Hagar had remembered her place, she would not have had any trouble with Sarai.  Her actions would have been totally different.  Grace will always show the law its proper place.  It is important to remember that Hagar (the picture of the law) was never a free woman, and Sarai (the picture of grace) was always free.  Works (such as Hagar brought to the table) will never set you free, but will always keep you a slave.  Grace (what Sarai brought to the table) will make you free indeed. 

It seems this is why Sarai was not criticized for dealing harshly with Hagar.  Still, you have to wonder what this concept of dealing “harshly” implied.  A concubine that had been made a wife could enjoy the pleasures of a wife until the baby was born without being treated like a servant.  Her position was honored and elevated at that point.  Sometimes she would never return to being a servant, but would help her mistress in raising the child which she produced.  This would be the most desirable and highest attainable position for a concubine.  It would require great humility.  This might have been what Hagar had anticipated and expected, but she lacked the grace and humility to carry it out.  This attitude that Hagar brought into the household was definitely not what Sarai had in mind at all.  

Hagar let this fleshly formed change of events with the twist of fate in her favor go straight to her head.  Some people do not do well in handling success, especially the first time that they taste it.  Hagar had to brag, and she had to flaunt her new found power.  She had to get into Sarai’s face with it.  She became very legalistic in her thinking.  That was her biggest mistake.  She went from being a sweet, humble, agreeable young servant girl looking up to her mentor to being a prideful, arrogant, boastful, haughty concubine. 

There are seven things the Lord hates; haughty eyes, lying tongues, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush to evil, false witness and the stirring up of dissention among brothers.  It would appear that perhaps Hagar had a lot of these traits lurking in her personality.  She had hidden them well up until this point in time, but they all came tumbling forth when she found herself pregnant with Abram's child.    

Perhaps Hagar even took every opportunity to embarrass Sarai publicly.   Perhaps she gossiped about her behind her back.  Perhaps she was angry and rebellious in her words and actions toward her.  Perhaps she openly stated to Sarai that she would never be the true mother of her child.  Who knows what could have gone on? Perhaps she threatened Sarai’s life?  Things would have really been easier for Hagar if Sarai accidently had a fatal fall and never recovered.

This is all speculation of course; no one really knows everything that went on in those tents during those days.   From everything we have read and studied about Sarai, it is clear that these situations were not common occurrences in her household before Hagar was with child.  The beautiful, peaceful, joyful atmosphere that surrounded Sarai’s tents as she baked her bread and welcomed her guest with extreme hospitality must have shifted a whole lot during this time.  A different kind of cloud must have settled over the area where these two women dwelt together, and Abram must have spent a lot of time looking after the flocks instead of sitting in the tents.   It is possible, in all of her years as the wife of Abram, that this might have been the first time Sarai had ever encountered pure rebellion, or anyone who hated her.  She must have stewed inside as she considered how to handle the situation that was causing great grief to her once well-run and peaceful household.  Making your own plan instead of waiting on God's plan will always steal your joy.  Grace always provides pardon, but sometimes we still have to live with the consequences of our own actions.  Grace just helps us to deal with the grief of our sins and allows us to keep on walking closer and closer to God as we do.

COME AS A CHILD - LESSON 44 - WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BAD LEADERSHIP AND UNCONDITIONAL GRACE COLLIDE

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

Funny, when things didn’t work out just like Sarai wanted them to and Hagar despised her after she became pregnant; that Sarai’s comment to Abram was “this is all your fault.”

The whole scheme of using Hagar as a concubine to give Abram a son to fulfill the prophecy because Sarai had passed the years of child bearing  had been Sarai’s idea; but now it was Abram’s fault! 

Well, guess what?  It was!  

This was basically the same scenario that Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden when the woman came up with a plan that was not the plan of God and the man said “OK, Let’s do it.”

 Just as Adam did not consult God as he ate of the tree, neither did Abram consult God when Sarai gave him a plan that involved her handmaiden.  The end results both times brought uncomfortable consequences that had to be dealt with.  Isn’t this just the way of the world?   Both times the man could have consulted God and made a different decision.  Abram could have refused Sarai’s offer of her concubine, but you never hear of him making one argument against it.    

Women look to men to be their leaders but sometimes men forget to lead.  That is when things, no matter how equally guilty the woman is by presenting wrong and impatient plans and ideas, become the fault of the man.    If a man is totally tuned in to God and following His exact will, the woman living with him will always be better off in the long run because he will not make unwise decisions without consulting God in prayer.  This may bother a woman for a short while, but in the end she will find herself praising God for it.  

This quality in a man requires strength and wisdom and patience.  Every man alive should be praying for these three godly traits.  Every woman married to a man should be asking God to grant these special qualities to her husband.   Every unmarried woman should look for this in a husband, and every single man should develop these characteristics in his personality before he takes marriage vows. 

That God intended for men to be leaders is a serious charge and it is not to be taken lightly.  Does this put the woman underneath the man?  Certainly not, Sarai and Abram led together, side by side, not one over another.  

As we have seen over and over Sarai and Abram were only human just like all the rest of us.  They made their share of mistakes.  They had developed very  godly  traits early on, but slipped up as they grew older and accidentally set them aside in their old age in their impatience to see the promises of God fulfilled in their lifetime.  

Age should make one wiser and more patient, not weaker and less patient.  If the eyes are focused on God, this will be the case; but if you look away, even for a split second, it is easy to begin to operate in the flesh.  

As people age they often lose their focus and grow weak simply because they are looking at their age and their flesh instead of looking at God and how timeless He is.  The enemy of God looks for us to hit these weak points of time in life and then tries to break down our testimonies and destroy them by making us think we must hurry and do some things ourselves instead of waiting on God's timing.  

As we all grow older we must carefully seek for God to strengthen our focus and will-power to live kingdom lives and not be listening to the wrong voices that will present themselves to us and try to trap us into bad decisions and circumstances because we suddenly find ourselves aging.  Now, more than ever, it is important to keep our faith in God's ability to bring about the right and perfect plans for our lives.

So why didn’t God just walk away from Abram and Sarai when they forgot to wait on His plan and follow His will?  God had made an unconditional covenant with Abram.  God always keeps His promises and He never breaks His covenants.  

It is the same for us as we live under the covenant of the New Testament in Christ Jesus today.   We too, from time to time, will forget to follow God and we too will make our own mistakes; but God has given us an unconditional blood covenant as His people, and He will alway honor it.  

Just like Abram and Sarai, We will always have to live with the bad circumstances we create for ourselves when we sin, but God will never desert those who have given their lives to Him.  He will always see us through even the hardest of times, even when we make mistakes and try to change His plans for us.  We may take a detour in the plan, but He will bring us back on track in our journey and if we follow Him we will always find our way back home.  


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COME AS A CHILD - LESSON 43 - MAKING THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

The world we live in today makes a big deal about making special announcements public, such as weddings and anniversaries, and of course; the soon coming arrival of a child.  I have to wonder what this would have been like if you were living in the ancient land of Caanan and you were the SECOND wife that had conceived the child with your Mistress’s husband. 

It must have been a bit strange to our way of thinking today. 

Would there have been a gender reveal?  Of course not, there was no way of knowing the sex of a child back in those days, but there must have been an “I’m going to have a baby and it belongs to Abram” public moment that came to pass in Hagar’s life.  How would this have transpired? 

It must have been the talk of the tents!  

How do you imagine Hagar went about telling Abram and Sarai the news?   Of course they would have been waiting and watching and expecting, but still, it would have been perhaps a bit strange and awkward.   

How do you think she was received when she did let them know the news?  I can’t help but wonder who she told first, Abram or Sarai.  I suspect she went to Abram first.  The scriptures leave much to our imagination.  We can only look at the history of women who became “second wives” back in those days and learn a little of what might have happened.

The technical word for second wife was “concubine.”   The concubine was always of inferior status to the first wife.  If the husband wished to perform a veiling ceremony she could obtain the name of “wife” but she would still be considered the inferior wife, the second choice with the first wife always being over her and in charge of her. The husband was in charge of the first and chosen wife, but he WAS NOT in charge of any wife after her.  Any subsequent wife was totally under the charge of the first and chosen wife.  Hagar's welfare remained in the hands of Sarai even after she bore a child of Abram's.

Much of these concubine relationships materialized when the first wife discovered she was barren.  The concubine was a way of securing an heir for the family name if the first wife simply could not bear a child.  Many ancient marriage agreements had wording stating promises from the wife that should the wife be unable to bear an heir she would secure a concubine to have her husband’s children.   These heirs would hold unless the first wife later and unexpectedly bears a child.  The concubine’s children were always inferior to the chosen first wife’s children.  This was true for everything concerning a child in the family, but especially true when it came to inheritance. 

Because of these situations in the culture, the laws of Israel that came later were very careful to provide rights safeguarding the Hebrew girls who found themselves being sold as handmaidens. 

It seemed that when a concubine was going to be provided as one who would bear the children for her mistress, it was usually done by taking a very strong and healthy young handmaiden (often bought in the market of slaves) that the mistress could train as a child and supervise as she grew into a young girl.  The young girl would be brought up to serve the household.    Usually before the child was born the handmaiden would become wed to the one who had purchased the handmaiden. 

Some people have been very upset thinking that Abram sinned with Hagar by committing adultery.  Well, we have already discovered that Abram was an ordinary man and very capable of sin just as any other man; but in this case he was innocent.  He was simply following the legalities and civil laws that were in place in his days and in the culture where he lived.   At that time in that culture it was perfectly legal for Abram to take a second wife.  Sarai's giving Hagar to him would have signified that she was being chosen as a second wife for the purpose of bearing a child to Abram.  Notice the word "wife."  Even though Hagar was a second, inferior wife, chosen only for the sake of bearing children; she was in fact legally married to Abram.  You cannot commit adultry with someone who you are married to.   Even if they had not been married, the law (the ten commandments) had not yet been given, so it was hard to break a commandment that God had not yet officially commanded.  This argument that Abram sinned doesn’t really stand, and for once Abram is let off the hook.  That is also not to say that Abram did the right thing.  Abram should have consulted God before agreeing with Sarai in this plan.  Does anything about this sound familiar?  What if Adam had consulted with God before agreeing to eat the fruit that Eve offered?  The devil's tactics never change, they are always the same and usually quite predictable when you think about it.  

Also, that isn’t to say that God did not intend for men to have only one wife and for women to have only one husband.  Once again, He set the example for us with Adam and Eve way back in the garden.  He showed us the better way from the start.  It was man who came up with the other less than perfect ways of living, and hence mankind is always dealing with the circumstances of their own mistaken choices.   God later addressed this issue when He wrote down the ten commandments and gave them to Moses. 

The picture of Sarai and Abram making their own decisions here instead of waiting on God to bring about His will for them is a perfect lesson and example of how things are better when you do things the best way; God’s way.  In all life situations there is a choice between the way that SEEMS right to men, and God's way.  It seems that Abram and Sarai rushed God’s plan because they got all caught up in their own importance instead of God’s.   If Abram sinned at all, this would be where it happened.  Now, for the rest of his life, the relationship of Abram and Sarah and their beautiful love story would have a shadow of a handmaiden and another son named Ishmael.  The focus of complete joy would forever be diverted  from the eventual promised child because of the responsibilities brought on by wrong human decisions that were way lower than God's original purposes.  

God allows us to grow in and from our mistakes.  This happens because He doesn't produce a magic wand that instantly corrects everything that we have done wrong.  He lets us live with the circumstances that we bring upon ourselves and He is still kind and merciful and loving to us through it all.  He takes our mistakes and turns them for good eventually, even if the "good" is just to teach us to be more careful and more diligent to seek His guidance.  

If the handmaiden went through the child bearing process and boar a child for her mistress and then sought to place herself on an equal footing, she normally could not be sold to anyone else (this kept the man’s child living within his own household even if the relationship with the woman went sour); although she could be reduced again to the status of a slave.  There were civil laws and provisions spelled out in the Code of Hammurabi stating certain conditions where the slave-concubine and her child could even be expelled, but only on the advice of divine oracle.  This too plays into the story of Abram, Sarai and Hagar as we will discuss later.

All of the above is interesting to note as we look deeper into the story of Hagar, Abram and Sarai.

The scriptures tell us that Hagar bore a male child to Abram and even while she was pregnant with him she began to despise Sarai. 

Hagar had been with Sarai since that dreadful time in Egypt when Abram had almost let Pharaoh marry Sarai without telling him she was his wife.  God had intervened in that time and the truth had been revealed.  When Pharaoh sent them away he gave Hagar to them, but it is said that she had requested to go saying:  “One day in the house of Abram and Sarai is better than many days in the house of Pharaoh”  Perhaps Hagar, even as a young girl had entertained the thoughts of being the wife of Abram and bearing his children.  Perhaps she had looked at the life that Sarai led and said “that is for me – I’ll take it!  I want to be just like her!”  There again is another commandment - "Thou shalt not covet" - that had not yet been written down in stone or spelled out for the world to see.  We don’t really know, but it is quite possible that Hagar coveted the life of Sarai. 

Maybe Hagar was simply a child used in a sneaky political move.  Perhaps Pharaoh, secretly wishing to promote the growth of Egypt beyond its borders thought to himself; “I’ll send one of the daughters of my concubines with them and even though they gain great wealth when this child gives birth to another child we will be able to put an Egyptian claim onto all the lands that they come to possess."  Ancient cultures were known for devious acts such as this.  Every kingdom was about power and greed in those days.  Now, this is only imaginative thinking, no one knows what really went on behind the scenes and why Pharaoh allowed one of his princess/daughters to become the handmaiden to Sarai, but it is a thought worth entertaining. 

Who knows what secret thoughts Hagar held in her heart as she grew up in the tents of Abram?  It is in many ways like the story of Esther in reverse. 

It appears in every segment of Hagar’s story that her greatest characteristic was her ambition.  She held on in very hard circumstances determined to succeed in spite of all obstacles.  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  What we really know at this point is Hagar was Sarai’s handmaiden and Sarai gave her to Abram to bear a child and Hagar became pregnant and despised Sarai when she did. 

One cannot help but wonder if this word “despise” is a way to describe that green-eyed monster common among women called jealousy.  Let us consider that a bit as we think of Sarai and Hagar and this situation.  They were probably both equally jealous for very different reasons.  

Hagar probably craved the power and control and possessions of Sarai as Abram’s wife, including the love of Abram.  Can you imagine the pain of knowing that another woman would take the child born of your flesh into her arms immediately after birth and raise the child as its mother?  No matter how Hagar worked at her ambitions to replace Sarai, Sarai was ALWAYS going to be in the picture and always going to have control of the destiny of Hagar's child.   

Sarai, on the other hand,  probably felt pain and sorrow to have another woman bearing the child of the one man she had always loved with all of her heart. No matter what she did from this point forward, Abram's loyalties would always be divided and distracted away from her toward this son of another woman.  It must have been humiliating to Sarai to have to make the choice to allow another to give birth to her husband's child and sit helplessly by and watch as the world around her changed daily with this new development.  

Before Hagar's pregnancy Sarai and Hagar had most likely been very close friends.  They would have by this time spent hours and hours and days and years side by side in the household of Abram.  They would have been a team in all that had happened so far.  We can read in the legends of the sages stories of  Sarai entertaining royalty in her tents and recognizing and addressing Hagar as a royal princess instead of her slave among the guests.  Perhaps there were many, many times that these two shared the everyday moments of womanhood in the family together, laughing, talking as close friends, emphasizing with one another over the things that all women go through.  Hagar had most likely been a close friend, confidant and supporter of Sarai.  Now all of that was destroyed between them.  The whole landscape of their relationship and friendship totally changed when Hagar made her famous announcement.   These were real life-changing times for both of these women.   

By the time that Hagar was pregnant and despised Sarai, Sarai knew that she had acted in haste with her decision to give her to Abram and she most likely regretted it terribly.   It must have come  clear to her like a hammer over the head that she had not sought this out through prayer and had not consulted God at all.  She would have had to see the look of concern on Abram’s face every time Hagar winced when the baby kicked, and she would have not been used to the tender way a man would have treated a woman bearing the child of his loins.  Some of the tender loving care that Abram had always given to Sarai would naturally go now to the mother of his child.  This all must have been an eye-opening experience to Sarai and her grief could have easily turned to a huge mountain of bitterness and hate. 

So what do you do when you have gone against the wishes of God even after He has promised you nothing but great blessings and a perfect destiny and has made your life so fulfilling and abundant up until that point?

Wouldn’t we all love to know what went on in the mind and hearts of Sarai and Abram during this time that Hagar was pregnant?  

It must have been a very strange time indeed.  What should have been a time of sheer joy was  now touched and stained with the human traits of anger, bitterness, jealousy, hate, regret, uncertainty, fear and a million other human emotions.  It was all unnecessary, but God lets us make our own choices.  The thing is – once made – we have to live with them.  

It isn’t completely bad though, this is how we learn grace and how we can learn to love deeper and with more intention.  Ironically, pain often brings gain.  Eventually the fog lifts and God shows us the detour that our decisions have brought to our journey.  Detours are not always smooth paved roads, they can get rocky and hard to travel.  We have to just keep moving until we get back to God’s original destiny.  Sometimes it takes a very long time. 

Both Hagar and Sarai had made some bad decisions.  Hagar in choosing to leave her life as the princess she desired to be in her heart all along, and Sarai in choosing to let another woman into her marriage and giving her the right to bear the child to Abram.  Abram too had allowed things to happen without questioning or correcting the errors.  They all had detours cropping up on the radar.  It was going to be a much different and harder journey from here on out.  Some days the only thing left to do is to just keep on walking.

In spite of Abram and Sarai’s mistakes and humanness, God was with them through it all.   He was still pouring out His blessings on them as well as looking after Hagar and her child.     

God is good - all the time.

COME AS A CHILD - LESSON 42 - THE BEST LAID SCHEMES OF MICE AND MEN

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

I cannot think of the next chapter in the life of Abram and Sarai without considering the line of Robert Burn's  Scottish poem called "To A Mouse."   One quote is rendered:  "the best-laid schemes of mice an' men gang aft agley, an' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain, for promis'd joy!"  

The author is pondering how the little mouse's winter house is all in ruins because of being hit by a plough.  He thinks of how the mouse carefully planned ahead for winter and worked so hard to make such a nice little nest, which the plough just goes right over and destroys in an instant.  Then he considers the act of men making plans and how often, no matter how well laid-out they are; they are destroyed by the unexpected or get terribly off course and messed up along the way.  He thinks how mice at least live in the present moment where men are always looking forward or backward, trying to fix things they have no control over.  

Often when considering this I've thought Robert Burns might have had the same problem as Abram and Sarai with his outlook on life.  He might not have invited God into all the big, life-changing decisions.  Perhaps if the little mouse had consulted God on where to build his nest the plough would not have happened.  There are also certain places that men would not go - had they consulted God about their future.  It is only human to forget this from time to time, and Abram and Sarai were just that - only human.

You would think after all the trouble that God went to in confirming the

covenant with Abram that he would be completely reassured of God’s promises and just begin to wait patiently to see it all come to pass.

Not so.  Abram was inside of time and God was outside of time and their perspective on the passing of time was completely different.  God was and always is looking at the perfect clock and waiting on the perfect time for everything that evolves in his plan for mankind.  Abram was inside of time worried that things were not happening fast enough. 

 He believed; of course he did!  He believed every word that God spoke to him, but he probably kept wondering if maybe he missed some little instruction or something more.  Nothing was happening and he was getting to be old.  Maybe God had told him something to do that he had forgotten.   Those voices that often pop up in the heads of humans to add to confusing times kept repeating themselves.

Perhaps it was up to him.  Perhaps he needed to think of a way to bring God’s will about in a timely manner.  Abram, like all humans before him and after him, began to rationalize about things that were supernatural in nature and tried to make them happen in man’s way instead of waiting on God’s way.  All the time Abram was pondering this; but still he kept impatiently waiting.

Abram might have waited a lot longer and been a lot more patient if Sarai had not been involved.  He had shared the news of the covenant with her and she had believed it too.  She pondered the timing of things just like Abram.  She, after all, WAS a big part of this picture and she was getting older, much older. 

She had heard Abram tell the stories of the covenant over and over.  It was like a dream that they shared together, but why wasn’t it happening?  Sarai must have kept asking herself what was so wrong in her that she could not conceive a son to grant the greatest wish of her husband.  She was deeply troubled in her waiting.  It seemed that her destiny had been put on hold forever.  Why?  Sarah was always wondering why.  She wasn’t one to sit and mope and she did not like this constant never-ending waiting. 

She probably kept telling herself over and over again that she had so much to be thankful for.  She should just be patient, but everything was just taking way too long. 

Was there a sin within her holding this miracle back; too much ingratitude, too much pride?  Not enough humility?  Was she too selfish?  If it was her, what could she do about it?  Was there a way she could be less selfish and give a son to Abram?  Sometimes we look at ourselves and receive doubt instead of looking at God and finding hope.

She pondered this night and day for a long time.  Question after question haunted her thoughts as she spent her hours of waiting.  She was now well past the age of childbearing.  Maybe God was trying to make her think of another way to accomplish this?  Was He?  Anyway – what else was there to do? 

Sarai looked around and glimpsed her beautiful young handmaiden going about her daily chores.  How she wished to be young and healthy again, like her.  Envy has been the fall of many a great woman.  Hagar had been a good servant so far.  She had actually chosen to come with Sarai and Abram from the house of Pharaoh.  She had been one of Pharaoh’s daughters from a concubine.  She had so admired Sarai that she had said as a very young girl “Better to live as a servant in the house of Sarai and Abram than to be a royal princess in the house of Pharaoh,”  Her father had quickly granted her request and sent her off to be Sarai’s handmaiden.  

Since Hagar had chosen her position in life, and been a good servant to her, Sarai felt she could trust her with anything.  The girl had a simplicity about her and she looked up to Sarai and mimicked her every move.  It was very flattering.  Flattery has also been the downfall of many a great woman.  She would always be loyal, wouldn’t she?  She listened when Sarai spoke and took in all of the wisdom she had gained in her years of living in Abram’s tents.   Hagar had learned a lot from Sarai.

The more Sarai pondered this the more Sarai wondered if the answer to

her troubles was living and breathing right inside her own tent.  Perhaps she could trust Hagar to bear a son for her and Abram.  It displeased Sarai to think of Abram with another woman, but she might be able to bear that just once in order to give him the son of his desire.  Surely he would only respect her more for being so unselfish in fulfilling his desires?  Many women thought nothing of this.  

Of course, it would mean that Hagar would have to be considered a second wife.  Sarai would still be the first and honored wife, but Hagar would be taken as a second wife in order to give the family name to her son.  She would be more honored in the household than she was now, but she would still be under Sarai’s charge and she would still tend to Sarai’s needs.  Maybe it meant not much would change. 

Sarai realized she might have come up with a way to heal the only part of her marriage that suffered – the fact that she was childless.  She began to have visions of her tending to a son that Abram loved and Hagar being humble and kind in letting her do so.  Like Abram, she began to rationalize the plans of God instead of waiting to see what God would bring about.  

The scriptures never mention once that Sarai consulted God in this; and that is because SHE DID NOT.  She had become so comfortable in her blessings from God that she just took for granted that He would approve of her plan.  Isn't that the most human thing you have ever known?  

She made a horrible mistake in thinking that this was a question that she had the right to answer. 

It wasn’t.  

Haven’t we all been guilty of the same?  

We go right on making huge life changing decisions on our own because we think we have come up with a brilliant plan and we never consult God who knows how un-brilliant some of our plans can turn out to be.

Sarai talked to Abram and Abram agreed to the plan.  God was there all the time.  He was waiting too.  As He waited they proceded with the plan they had devised on their own.  God will let this happen if you chose to create your own trap.  Sometimes the only learning tools that work are the tools created by our own mistakes.  God is graceful, loving and kind.  He did not leave them or forsake them when they left Him out of the equation.  He simply kept loving them and let them suffer the consequences of their own mistake.  They just assumed that God would be in agreement.  Isn’t that such a human trait? 

 It wasn’t long before Hagar was with child and the pleasant tents of Abram began to take on a new and altogether different atmosphere.