COME AS A CHILD LESSON 117 THE ODDEST THINGS CAN HAPPEN ON THE WAY TO EGYPT

^{(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)}

 God told Moses to go back to Egypt.  God said that Moses should not be afraid because all of those who previously wanted to kill him were now dead.  Does this not remind you of Jacob going back to the land of his birth after so many years of working for Laban?  Both men had fears of returning, and God needed to reassure both of them.  I have found many parallels between the story of Jacob and the story of Moses as he left Midian to go to Egypt to do the will of God.  

Both Moses and Jacob had a strong influence in their lives from women.  Moses' life was saved several times by women, first the midwives, then his mother, then his sister, then Pharoah's daughter, then his wife Zipporah.  The part Zipporah played in saving Moses' life is in our lesson today.

 

Before leaving for his task in Egypt, Moses went back to Midian and spoke with Jethro (his father-in-law) and said to him, “Let me return to my own people in Egypt to see if any of them are still alive.”

Leaving Jethro must have been hard for Moses.  He had been like a true father to him.  This might have been even harder for Jethro.   Moses had been living with Jethro for 40 years now.  He had worked with him every day, tending his flocks.   Jethro had taken Moses into his home at a time when Moses was a homeless fugitive, and he had even allowed his daughter, Zipporah to marry Moses.  Now Jethro had two grandsons by Moses and Zipporah.    

The oldest grandson of Jethro was named Gershom (meaning I have become a foreigner in a foreign land), and the youngest, who was probably just born around the time that God called Moses out to go back to Egypt, was Eliezer. (Eliezer’s name means God delivers.) Though Jethro loved these two grandsons, he was not selfish and he did not think of himself.  He did not try to persuade Moses to stay for his sake.  He seemed to grasp the larger picture of the Hand of God on the life of Moses.  Jethro simply said, “Go, and I wish you well.”  This was similar, yet a complete opposite of the experience of Jacob with Laban.  Moses left his father-in-law on good terms, and Jacob left Laban on different terms.  Both men though, had foreign father-in-laws that they had to leave in another land.   Both men took away the daughters and grandchildren with them.

So Moses packed up his wife, children and possessions and set out traveling south toward Egypt.  He carried the staff of God in his hand as they traveled. 

The LORD spoke with Moses as they were on the way and said “When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do.  But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go.  Then say to Pharaoh, ‘This is what the LORD says:  Israel is my firstborn son, and I told you, “Let my son go, so he may worship me.  But you refused to let him go; so I will kill your firstborn son.” 

Moses listened to what God wanted him to do and must have thought this over all the way to Egypt.

Soon they had journeyed for a whole day and it was beginning to be evening.  They came to a place where they set up camp to rest for the night.  Many scripture passages say this was an inn, but it is mistranslated because there were no inns in the dessert between Midian and Egypt at that time.  There were resting stations here and there with empty shelters if you had your own provisions, but people basically just camped on the side of the road, wherever they were when evening came. 

Once Moses and his family arrive at their camp for the evening, we find out there is a very strange turn of events.  One minute everything seems to be fine, but suddenly we hear “in this place the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him.”

Would God kill Moses?  Now????

Why on earth would God do that?  He had just recruited Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His people go.  Apparently, Moses was being prepared for this moment his whole life.  Now on the first evening of his journey to do God’s will we hear that God comes looking for Moses to kill him!  Very strange words!  

It gets even stranger!  We then read of Zipporah coming to Moses’ rescue by taking a flint knife and cutting off her son’s foreskin and touching Moses’ feet with it!  What on earth could this mean?  Then she screams “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me.”

What an odd thing to say; but apparently those were just the right words because the next thing we know God has let Moses go, and all seems to be well again.

A better translation of the words of Zipporah would be “How beloved is the blood that has delivered the bridegroom from the hand of The Angel of Death.”  Does that sound a little different to you?  The wording of the scriptures makes all of this very hard to understand.  

People have been trying to explain this strange scripture passage for ages.  There are many different interpretations and I have simply studied a lot of them and picked the parts that I feel are right.  I do not claim to know.  I am simply reporting what I learned from my own studies.  Don’t take my word for it.  Study it yourself and see the reason behind all the logic with your own eyes.  Do your own research and see if you agree or disagree.  This is a very hard passage to interpret! 

A good place to start the study would be to grasp a full understanding of the covenant of God with Abraham (this is a subject we have already covered in previous lessons) and to have a clear understanding of the ritual of circumcision. 

Remember in the covenant of Abraham there was a cutting ceremony with a heifer, a goat and a ram.  Their parts were laid out with an aisle between the two divided parts of each slaughtered animal.  It was customary for the weaker party of the covenant to pass between the body parts and pledge his loyalty to the stronger party by saying “May it be unto me as with these slaughtered animals if I fail to be loyal.”  It is very surprising that God was the only one to pass through the body parts in His covenant with Abraham.  That act put all the responsibility of keeping the covenant on God.  Abraham had absolutely nothing to do!  All of the oath of fulfilling the covenant fell on God.  God made Abraham unconditional promises.

It wasn’t until much later that Abraham took his oath to God by passing under the knife in the act of cutting his foreskin in the act of circumcision.  This was the same as Abraham saying “May I and my offspring be cut off if I do not act in loyalty toward God.”

Now it seemed that Moses had not kept the covenant of Abraham with God in that he had neglected to circumcise his first born son.  Moses had grown up in Egypt and these things would not have been so obvious to him when his first son had been born.  Yet, he knew of his own circumcision that had most likely been performed properly on the eighth day after his birth.  He was a foreigner in Midian, and had not been with his true people even growing up in Egypt.  Was it possible that Moses didn’t seem to know what was proper?  At his age, he probably DID know what would have been proper for a Hebrew.  Perhaps he could only realize what his Midian Father-in-law had shared with him.  Maybe it was the custom in Midian that the practice of circumcision did not to take place until a boy was 13 years old (as a rite of passage) instead of on the 8^th day after his birth, very similar to what their neighbors (the Ishmaelites) practiced.)  These things are unclear, but the thing that WAS clear was the fact that a child of Moses, a descendant of Abraham had not been circumcised.  

There is also the possibility that Zipporah did not understand the necessity of keeping Abraham’s covenant with God and did not wish to subject her son to the bloody ritual and therefore maybe she persuaded Moses that this act was not necessary.  This would have been long before Moses had the burning bush experience; so it might not have seemed so important or relevant to them at the time. 

Surely though, God knew all of these "ifs", "ands" and "buts."  They did not seem to matter.  We must remember that God looks at things from outside of time.  He knows the beginning from the end, the whole story, where we only see where we are standing now.  God KNEW that every firstborn son would die in Egypt unless they were protected by blood over their doorpost.  That would be the sign for the Angel of Death to pass over.  God had explained to Moses that he should tell Pharaoh these things, but was Moses being as stubborn as Pharaoh in neglecting to give his own son the protection of God that came from circumcision?  God could not have a man as guilty as Pharaoh commanding Pharaoh.  Moses’ disobedience in this matter needed to be tended to. 

It seemed to be clear that God was very angry and his wrath was coming toward Moses.  It was a righteous anger.  Maybe though, even this isn’t all it appears to be on the surface.  Some scholars have suggested that this wrath and anger and the fact that the scriptures say God was coming to kill Moses might have been just another form of speech which actually meant God was holding Moses in a “death grip.”  In other words, perhaps Moses was wrestling with God in a spiritual battle that affected him physically, very similar to the time when Jacob wrestled with God when God changed Jacob’s walk.

Moses needed very much to change his spiritual walk.  How could the leader of the people whom God had chosen to bring about the Messiah have violated the very sign that identified his descendants with God?  Could Moses proclaim God’s law to the people later when he had not even been observant of such things in his own life?  Any leader worth his weight must be true to the things he teaches to others.  Moses had been too careless.  God was about to change his attitude. 

It was obvious that whatever was going on between God and Moses had Moses totally debilitated to the point that when it became clear that God’s anger was all about not performing the act of circumcision, Moses could not even move or break loose to perform the act. Zipporah had to quickly step in and take the necessary action.   

Perhaps Moses was wrestling with God in the “death grip” in order to save the life of his son; most likely his first born son, since the new son might not yet be even eight days old. 

 It was clear from God’s commandment to Abraham about circumcision that all who were not circumcised would be cut off from their people.  It was the circumcision that identified the people as those who followed and believed God.  The bloody foreskin was a sign of God’s protection over them; just as the blood over the door post later became a sign of God’s protection over the first born sons while in Egypt.  God wasn’t just randomly getting mad and killing people who were uncircumcised, as some might have supposed. God was merely wanting his people to be clearly identified to others.  They were not to blend in with all the cultures around them.  

God wasn’t just making threats in anger; He was simply stating facts.  Moses’ son needed to be marked for God and not the pagan cultures around him.  Circumcision stood for proof of obedience to God.  When God had explained to Abraham that all who refused circumcision would be cut off God wasn’t just making idle threats.  God was simply stating the truth of the matter.  God wasn’t bringing punishment for unjust reasons, His anger was about the carelessness of decisions of disobedience that brought harm to the innocent.  

The cutting off was simply from the cause and effect of the wrong decisions of men; not the wrath of God.   God had offered them life.  If you cut yourself off from life; you die.  All of this comes simply from the cause and effects that men create for themselves whenever they are disobedient to God.  All of our choices have consequences.  God told Adam from the very beginning not to eat from the wrong tree, if he did; it resulted in death.  God told the people of Abraham to be circumcised, if they did not; they would be cut off.  It wasn't God's wrath that caused the troubles, it was the wrong decisions of the people.

So perhaps we should be looking at this text from a different perspective.  Instead of thinking “if we don’t circumcise ourselves, God will get angry with us and kill us, we should be remembering that  God doesn’t ask the impossible of us.  God wasn't angry with Moses' son.  He was angry with Moses.  

NO ONE IS ABLE TO CIRCUMCISE THEMSELVES.  Circumcision is something that someone else has to do for you.  Like Abraham’s covenant; all that matters is what God will do.  You can do nothing for yourself.  Everything depends on God and God alone.  But you must CHOSE to TRUST GOD.  You must allow yourself to receive the circumcision, which is today recognized as the state of our hearts through baptism.  

God had commanded that all Israelites be circumcised on the eighth day after their birth.  At this state the person being circumcised is just an infant, totally incapable of wielding a knife.  The child is circumcised by someone passing the blessing on to them.  They have done nothing to deserve it; and it is a free gift, but it must be passed on in order to take effect. 

Why would anyone neglect doing this?  How could Moses have overlooked something so important to God and expect God to protect them?

 Zipporah woke up to the truth just in time!  She saved her husband from the penalty of death he had brought on himself because of his sin of disobedience by shedding the blood of her son.  Once Zipporah performed this act of circumcision to redeem the sins of Moses, God was pleased and satisfied and He let Moses go. 

Whew!  For a moment I thought a whole nation might be lost!

It is the same situation for us today.  We are all freely blessed by God through the shed blood of Jesus Christ.  Circumcision was only a foreshadow of what happened with Jesus on the cross.  Just as our baptism symbolizes the circumcision of our hearts today.   

Innocent blood was shed to cover the sins of disobedient humanity in order to redeem them from the wrath of God.  There is a “death element” in circumcision as well as in baptism (the modern day circumcision.)  One must die to one’s self and turn his heart only toward God.  Jesus would say at a much later date; “If anyone wants to come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me daily.” 

All great men of God seem to go through such a time of testing.  The right decisions and the proper things must be done.  Abraham had such a time; Isaac and Jacob had such a time.  Jesus was tested in the wilderness by Satan.  The key to passing any test from God is obedience. In all of this wrestling with God, Moses had to learn to die to himself and be obedient to God.  Once Moses' own house was in order and all were submitted completely to God’s will, Moses was ready for God to begin to change his identity and make him a leader in the eyes of the people.   He was no longer Moses from Egypt, or Moses the Shepherd from Midian.  He became Moses The Leader of Israel, very similar to when God wrestled with Jacob and then changed his name.         

For anyone planning on leading others in a public way, it is always best and right to look at your own home first.  Do you have your personal affairs in order?  Have you done everything that God has commanded of you in the smaller things?  If you cannot handle your own home or you cannot take care of the smaller things of life; how would you expect God to allow you to lead others and take care of the larger things in life?  

God made sure that Moses did his homework before proceding.  All of the large things rested in the completion of many other smaller things.  Once this was taken care of, God and Moses were on the same page again.

What seemed like a really terrible bad day for Moses was actually a foreshadowing of the love of God for all of us in that Christ died for our sins and gave us eternal life.  Sometimes life with God is a matter of trusting and doing, even if you don't see the whole picture, even if you don't understand.  This is one thing that Abraham was good at.  This is one thing that God was determined that Moses would learn.  It is something that we could all take to heart.  Trust and obey - for there is no other way!

SEASONS - NUMBERING OUR DAYS

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf on 4/27/2012)

Preface:

This is one of the oddest short stories I have ever written for the blog; all the way back in April 27, 2012, way before I even knew my grandson; Vinny.  My daughter married Vinny's Dad when Vinny was six.  

The boy I imagined in the story was named David, but other than that; the way I described him is EXACTLY like Vinny, in every detail.  I'm pretty amazed at this now; looking back.  I also saw this same child, who looked exactly like Vinny, in a vision once during a time of prayer.  The vision I had reassured me of  a time of happiness coming in the future for all who were concerned with him and in his life.  I had no knowledge of the child at that point either! 

So this story grows more precious to me every year as time goes by and I often ponder all the different layers of what it truly means.  The rest of the words from this point forward are what I wrote back in 2012:

2012 Preface:

You know, I do not have any grandchildren yet, but I yearn for some.

I believe that all good things come stepping softly into our lives in God's good time; and I'm patiently waiting for that day.  This may sound a little strange to some of you, but sometimes I imagine that I have a grandson.  He is about four years old in these little imaginations that come from somewhere in my brain, and I'm not sure of his name, but in this story I'll call him David.  He has thick curly blonde hair and very blue eyes and pale skin.  He is a very bright little boy, and I imagine that we always spend a lot of time talking about the most important things in life.  

Please don't think I've lost my mind now; I've been told that this phenomenon happens often to writers, especially the most creative ones.  It will be interesting to see if this sweet little boy really happens.  I certainly do hope so!

TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO NUMBER THEIR DAYS

The sun was slipping into the night sky.  It was that magical time just before dark when the working day is done and you are preparing to relax and enjoy your family to the fullest with a nice quiet family dinner.  David and I were sharing time together, puttering around the kitchen.  We had spent most of the afternoon in my kitchen baking cookies with the back door positioned wide open letting the sunlight shine in through the glass storm door so we could monitor all that was going on with the cat out on our back deck.  We also observed him through the full kitchen windows.  David loved the cat and we had named him Captain Jack.  David had to know everything that was going on with Captain Jack.   So, I was letting them spend some time together on the deck while I was preparing a fresh spring salad for our table.  David had come inside without me realizing it. 

 “ Grandma, what is an Omer?” asks the inquisitive child tugging at my shirt and looking up at me for an answer. 

An Omer is a way of measuring an amount of grain.”  I put it into terms that I thought he would understand, not elaborating too much so as not to lose him in the details.  


“Sort of like using this measuring cup you cook with?”  He pointed to the one on our kitchen counter.  

“Yes, sort of like that.  From Passover until Pentecost the ancient People of God would bring their barley crops to God as an offering, and they would measure it to be the size of an omer. ”   I pulled a quart of milk out of the refrigerator and said, "It would be about the size of two of these."  

"I could drink two of those in one day Grandma."
   
"Well David, that was part of the theory around the Omer.  It was supposed to equal the measurement of enough food for just one day.  Remember me telling you the story about God sending the Manna from Heaven to the People of Israel?"  He nodded.  "The amount they gathered to feed themselves for one day in the wilderness would be one Omer." 

“Oh – okay.”  He seemed satisfied for a few minutes, taking a short pause from the midst of his never ending trail of questions.  "David, I am proud that you are thinking about these things.  You are asking me good questions!”  He nodded at me, glad that I seemed pleased, and reached down to pet our cat who was passing by and  rubbing against his legs. 

“What do you think this kitty thinks about Grandma?” 

"Oh – I don’t know, but kitties do not think like you and me, David, they think different.  God made people and God made animals.  God made us to love one another, and God made us to love and take care of our animals,  but we are made to think and live different from our animals.”

“But doesn’t the kitty think and live just like me?”  

“No, dear.  We make decisions and animals are instinctive.  You see, animals live for the moment they are in. They don't remember the events of an hour ago, let alone the things that happened  last week."

I could see we needed to explore this further.  "You know how you upset the kitty when you pulled his tail yesterday?”  

Laughing at the memory, and knowing he had been caught, he looks up at me with that mischievous little grin.  “Well, he doesn’t remember that at all.  You and I would remember such a thing, but look how he just purrs and slips up in your lap for you to pet him.  He doesn’t remember.”  

I could see the child thinking this over.
  
“ You and I know that you are four, but the kitty doesn’t have any concept of how old or young he is.  He wouldn’t be able to celebrate his birthday, because he is totally unaware of anything to do with growing up and getting older each day. 

“No birthdays!  I’m glad I’m not a cat!”  

“Now it was my time to smile.  I remembered last year when he asked me every day for six months how long it would be until he turned four.  

“This little kitty just takes every day as it comes, they all are the same to him.  He appreciates everyone that he meets, no matter how nice or mean they are to him. "

I pondered my own words.  Hmmmm....." Sometimes I wish we COULD think like that.”

“Yeah, I think that would be nice too, only I don’t think I could be as nice to people who were mean to me as those who gave me chocolate cake.”  

'Right!  God made us to think about things like that, but God made the animals without any judgmental behaviors at all; and He designed them to live only in the present moment.  They could never plan to be at the ball park at 3 o'clock on Saturday afternoon.  They just are not made to think like that.  They always enjoy whatever is going on right now, but they can't think past that moment or even remember the things that they were enjoying yesterday.  

“So, Grandma, do you mean if they hit a home run and it was the play that won the game, they wouldn’t even think about it the next day?”  He looked astonished. 

“Not at all.  They would never think about it again.  You know how you can pick me out in the crowd when it is your time to bat in T-ball?”  

.”“Yes – I can always see you, in the stands every time I look up.”  

“Well, this cat can’t recognize his mother, or sister, or brother for how they are related to him.  Once he has grown they all will be nothing but just another cat to him.  If he passed by them, say at the concession stand at the ball park, Captain Jack would just think they were the same as any other cat.”  

“And you know how granddaddy planned this house for us, and built it good and strong because he wanted to protect us from the rain and cold, and he wanted us to have a safe, dry place to sleep and eat and play?”

“Yes…”

“Well, cats can’t plan things like that.  They just have to live through whatever happens. “

“Oh.”  

His already round eyes grew rounder and wider.  “Wow, I’m glad I’m not a cat.  That sounds too sad.”

He kept playing silently, but I could tell he was pondering the things we had spoken about in his sweet young heart, and I could almost see the wheels of his active little brain turning and spinning out his ideas about the subject.

Funny, I was thinking about these things too.  I found myself reflecting about something I had been trying to put into effect in my own daily life.  I had been trying to be very consistent about "living in the present moment only," never looking back, not looking forward either, just BEING where I was when whatever was going on around me happened.  I wondered why I had decided to start doing this.  Was it all good?  Had this theory seemed acceptable to me because of my own human wounds from a broken life?

 Had my past not been healed, and was I too afraid of asking God to show me His plans for the future? 
 
Was I putting so much emphasis on my wounds and fears that I was using them as an excuse to cop out of a balanced life?  

I serve a God who heals and a God who tells me never to be afraid.  Forgetting the past and not planning for the future would not be the way God had ordered me to live.   I was positive that the basic theory of this "living in the moment only"  was a good thing and it just felt right.  It had a proper place of importance in my time that required godly discernment; but like everything else in life, it could get out of balance if not tempered with a little remembering of the past and a little planning for the future.  All three things should work together for a healthy balanced life.
  
I treasured this epiphany in my kitchen while making salad.  I was thankful that a simple conversation with a child could help me to regain a proper perspective on how to live.  I gave myself permission to stop  listening to the shallow voices of the world, that had almost tempted me into the danger of slipping into a place of not wanting to put forth the extra effort to remember and plan as well as enjoy the moment of the present day. 

Isn't this what counting the Omer was really about?



In celebrating the Passover Seder together as a family, we had remembered the past.  We stopped on that day to refresh our minds and hearts with  the moments of the past, to saturate our senses with God's beautiful stories of the history of His people.  We stopped to go to the cross with The Lamb of God, getting the full picture of His suffering, and remembering what He had done for us in this season of His time on earth.  

We felt the thrill of  being liberated from our own personal slavery as we read about how God's people were delivered from Egyptian slavery.  We reveled in it.  We were reminded of our lives before we knew Christ as our Most Holy Messiah, and we wondered and marveled at how He transformed us from living in the bondage of sin into a life of freedom. 

As I looked at David, growing every day, I realized I had some growing to do myself;  I too had to become more aware of how God intended for His people to live and think.  After all, He had given us this great gift that made us higher than the animals of whom we were to watch over and care for.  We could actually think these things through and act on what we believed to be right every day as we walked through our lives.  


I savored this moment of realization that my grandson was learning, growing, changing into a youngster who ponders and asks questions.  His learning was teaching me so much!  

With new found discernment and wisdom, I let myself live in this present tense with a refreshed gladness and a thankful heart.  It was a luxury I quite enjoyed.  Yet, even now, I was planning for him in my mind, praying for his future to be bright and good.   It was a good moment where God was revealing this blessing to me, and I held it close and treasured it in my heart, knowing that it would bubble over one day in the future and bless someone else because we had lived this day.

"David, are you ready to count the Omer?”

His eyes lit up with excitement.  “Yes, Grandma!, Oh, will you let me mark through the day on the calendar, please?”

“First we must say our prayer.  What day are we on now?  We must stop and consider where we are in time.”

Since the second day of Unleavened Bread, we had been counting the days together and reciting a special blessing each day of this seven-week journey from Passover till Pentecost, just like the Children of God did in the Exodus as they moved out of bondage to the Egyptians and inched toward Mount Sinai and received the Torah.  

Each day I told my precious grandson more of the stories of their journey.  He was always anxious to hear what happened next in the great adventures of the People of God.  I could rest assured that my grandson was in line for some awesome adventures from God himself.  I reveled in sharing the experience of this old, old tradition with him.  I knew it was helping him learn to count, to observe the days of the weeks on the calendar, but even more, I knew it was giving him spiritual formation for the years to come when we shared the prayers and the stories. This time with David blessed me in so many ways.  

I was learning, through the experience of teaching my grandson, that there is a time for everything; a time to remember, a time to be. and a time to plan.   

I was realizing that the story of The People of God taught me that there was a time to obtain freedom, a time to believe, and a time to learn how to manage that freedom wisely and correctly and put those beliefs into daily actions.

I could see it clearly in these little moments in our home together.  

I could see it clearly in the death, burial and resurrection of Christ.  

I could see it clearly in Passover, Unleavened Bread and Pentecost.  

Time marches on and on and God keeps it well for us.

We keep remembering; we keep living; we keep hoping.  

We know that counting these days ultimately points us to the giving of God’s Holy Spirit.  
In examining our lives as we go through the days we know we are about to receive the ultimate gift in abundance.  It is a gift that will fill our hearts with love, compassion and worship.  The Holy Spirit is how we are able to prepare for our future. The  whole house of God also must be built up through the people who now make up His body.  The Holy Spirit leads us with discernment and love, grace and mercy.  

We aren’t like the cat; we can think, and hope and remember and relate.  Because we are higher than the animals, God shows us how to count our days, and instructs us to make the most of them, to aspire to be better people in the future than we were in the past. 
When Pentecost is fully come we will be offering up the wheat harvest.  It is a better blessing, a higher blessing.
  
We anticipate this higher thing as we count the days and go through the necessary things in order to reach the places we want and need to be.

After Passover we tend to the necessary things, the tedious part of our humanity, the parts of us that grow like a crop of barley.  
    
All things come together in God’s good order.  

The Omer measures out the barley until Pentecost.  At Pentecost there will be two loaves of wheat waved before God; two loaves of the higher blessings offered up for The Kingdom of God in holy worship.  They represent the firstfruits of the best crop, the part of the Church and Israel together that represents us rising above our human natures into God's holiness. 
  
This is our hope that He will turn us from people who often only behave like animals eating common barley, into people who behave according to the image of God and and feed on the wheat of The Word. 

My heart is filled with wonder at how God's Word has provided a patterned, detailed map for us to live out our time on this earth.  He had given us full instructions in the scriptures, and He provided for seasons and times for us to stop and ponder these things in our hearts.  I loved each season and each of it's delightful aspects.    

Looking at my sweet grandson playing with our cat, I truly pondered that the sweet little kitty could not remember how we had found him; abandoned on the highway.  We had picked him up and brought him into a safe home where he would be well fed and loved.  We had given him a special name.  He was totally oblivious to all of this, simply lazing around in the sunshine all day long.  He didn’t even realize what a blessing had been bestowed upon him or think of any of the misery he had left behind. 

 Could I sometimes be guilty of living the same way?   

I was glad that God had given us the ability to remember things, and I was glad that we were teaching our grandson to ponder the changes that God brought about and allowed in his own journey through life.  

God in His Majesty always has this way of bringing the past, present and future together.  He connects the dots of our days.   So, we keep remembering the past.  We keep living in the moment.  We keep  faithfully counting the 49 days between Passover and Pentecost and marking them off on the calendar with anticipation toward our future.  

May each new year find us in a more sacred place, and may each of our lives be a more acceptable sacrifice in the service of God, as we grow in the holiness of God and teach our children to do the same.    

SAMPLES - EXERT FROM MY NOVEL TITLED THE CUPBEARER'S DREAM

I am presently seeking publication for several novels I've written; here is a sample chapter from my novel called The Cupbearer's Dream:

EXERT FROM MY NOVEL TITLED “THE CUPBEARER’S DREAM”

FROM A CHAPTER CALLED “THE VALLEY GATE”

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

The Valley did not look so forlorn in the light of day.  I brushed the sleep from my eyes and rose to follow Jesus again.  He walked before me as if He had slept on a bed of roses in a mansion of glory.   I marveled at the fact that this could have actually been the case had He chosen, but He was walking this valley again for my sake.  I felt humbled beyond words.

Jesus was smiling a happy smile.  I had to ask Him.  “So what has you so happy after a cold dark night’s sleep in the valley?”  

He laughed.  I loved that sound! 

“I was just mulling over how My Father was reminding you last night in your dreams of how each person working on the wall with you was a blessing .” 

“You can even see into my dreams!”  He smiled again. 

“I guess it was good to take that summary again, after all was said and done.  I can look back and see all the differences in talent, commitment and diversity that God blessed us with in the process we were going through while working on those walls.”

“He has a way of doing that!”

  Somehow thinking of the blessings made the morning’s travel much easier.  We walked in the sunlight and conversed all morning.  Any conversation with Jesus was always amazing.  I had not wanted to walk through this valley, but I was seeing how being forced to spend this time alone with Jesus was a truly fulfilling experience.  No distractions, just me and My Master walking together through the rough roads of the valley.  I was thankful for every word that we were able to share along the way.  I was never bored. 

All of a sudden a huge cloud blocked the sun.  In less than a second buckets and buckets of water were falling down upon us from the sky.  Lightening was flashing in huge striking streaks, and fierce winds were howling through the canyons.  It happened so fast; like the twinkling of an eye.  We had no time to prepare.  I saw the water collecting on top of the rocky earth, pooling up and forming small little floods.  I saw Jesus looking for higher ground to guide us to.

“Nehemiah, we must get to higher ground, these areas flood fast in a rain storm.  We are walking through a big gully.”

“I can’t believe You, of all people, are worried and telling me this.  God will save us.  I’m not moving from this spot.”

“Faith is a good thing Nehemiah, but stubbornness is not.”

Jesus was wading quickly on and upward to a higher plain.  I sat for a rest in the cool of the water and basked in my self-assurance, despite the words He had said to me.  I could survive this, after all, wasn’t I Nehemiah TheGreat Wall Builder?  Let the storm come.  I would not move from this spot until I was ready to go.  I just needed a little rest. 

It was about that time the water came suddenly from around a rock, rushing into me, pounding against me, pulling me along into a current that I could not fight.  I struggled against it with all of my might.  It was too strong for me.  I was grabbed and swept through the ravine.  I was pulled under in a split second, even before I could take a breath.  As I felt my lungs filling with the water of a furious Wadi storm, I realized my mistake much too late.  I silently confessed my sin in my mind before I passed out.  I hoped God heard me by reading my thoughts.  Then the world went dark.

I awoke on dry ground with a fire burning beside me.  It was twilight and Jesus was cooking something that smelled very good over the fire.  I was lying on a soft blanket and my clothes were different and dry. 

“You failed the first test” He said, without looking up from his cooking, “but you did confess it, and I have forgiven you; not to mention that I pulled you out of the flood.”

“Oh Lord, I’m so sorry!  I can’t believe I fell for that old trap of the devil!  I was relying on my own strength instead of listening toYou and following the age old advice of Our Father!”

“Pride is one of the greatest sins we battle Nehemiah The Great Wall Builder!”  I blushed, deeply embarrassed at my own stupidity.

“Most of my servants have had to learn about pride the hard way – through experience instead of knowledge.” 

My aching bones were certainly proof-positive of this statement.  The sorrow of my spirit for not listening to my Lord and trusting my own way was also very painful.  He always knew what was best for me, when would I ever learn this?  I caught myself wondering if He had ever been tempted in some way.  Surely being divine God sent from Heaven, He must have had a self-righteous moment or two?  How had He fought the battle of pride?

“My enemy, Satan, tried to bring that out in me Nehemiah.”

He was reading my thoughts again.  I blushed, feeling like I had accused Him out loud.

“I spent 40 days in the wilderness, much like you are spending in this valley, just Me and My Father, walking and talking.  I was fasting and praying for His guidance.  I too, had to be tested.  It was for my own good.  It was to develop my own strength.  It was hard for Me too, but it was something that had to be done in order for my purpose to be fulfilled.”

“What happened?”

“It started a lot like your testing started.  I was walking through the dry desert grounds, My Father had gone ahead in the distance leaving Me alone.  I was physically tired and emotionally drained.  I was hungry and thirsty.  Of course, Satan was watching.  He is always watching Nehemiah, just waiting on the opportune moment to catch a child of God in a moment of weakness.  That is when He shows himself.  He usually begins by twisting The Word.  That is why you must study and memorize the scroll that contains The Word.  The only way to recognize that the enemy is twisting the word for his own purposes is to know the word yourself.  I used The Word like a sword to fight him when he tried to tempt me.  By quoting the correct words from the Holy Scriptures back to him, I gave him no place to stand.”

“He knew I was hungry and He tempted me to command the stones to become bread.  He knew I had the power to do this.  He had witnessed me doing this many times before, but I was fasting in order to hear from My Father.  He wanted to distract me from this focus.  So he found where he thought I would be the weakest and he focused on that.  I knew to keep my focus, and I gave him back the scriptures that say “Man shall not live on bread alone, but from every word that comes from the mouth of God.”  These scriptures were the whole purpose for Me in that moment; to hear the word of My Father and to know His will for Me next.  By focusing on the scriptures that I believed and had faith in, the enemy did not win that battle.”

“Wow, I’ll bet he left you alone after that happened!”

“Actually, Satan is pretty stubborn.  He returned to me a second time.  This time he wanted me to prove my power as The Son of God.  He quoted the scripture again; don’t ever think that the enemy has not read the scriptures.  He was once the great cherubim before My Father’s throne.  He knows The Word.  He just tries to twist the meaning.  He wanted me to jump from the highest point of the temple and prove that I was The Son of God by letting the angels save Me.  Of course, he really thought he would trick me into jumping to my premature death.  I had no doubt that the angels would save me, but My Father is the one who tests, and I am not the tester.  My role and purpose at this time was to be the servant.  The servant does not test the Master.  I gave Satan back some scripture to chew on:  “Thou shalt not put The Lord Your God to the test.”

“Yes Lord! And the victory must have seemed sweet to You; and Satan must have gone off to hide in shame!”

“Like I said, he is a very stubborn and determined being.  He returned to Me a third time with yet another temptation, which you should find very interesting. “

“Why?  What did he tempt you with the next time?”

“Pride.  He took me up to a high mountain again and he showed me all the kingdoms of the world.  He said I could have them all if I would just bow down and worship him.”

“That liar!”

“Yes, you are right.  He did not own the kingdoms of the world, My Father owned them, and I was already the rightful heir, but just the same, even if he had owned them; I would not have been tempted.  My place was to do my Father’s  will.  All the kingdoms of the world would not have benefited me if I had not obeyed My Father.  I would have simply been following my own self righteous ways instead of His.”

I knew this false pride.  It was very fresh on my mind, and my back and my aching bones.  Had Jesus not stepped in and saved me from my own foolish pride, I would not be here with Him, having this conversation. 

“Lord, I’m so sorry.  I was wrong to trust in my own ways and my own strength.  I will not make that mistake again.”

“I know your true heart wants to do better Nehemiah, and I have forgiven you.”

Once again we shared a wonderful meal, and then we got up to begin another journey.  My heart felt fresh and humble and full of renewed energy and enthusiasm.  Perhaps my troubles were over!

The water that washed through the area and flooded the valley left as quickly as it came.  It was strange how it just seemed to seep down into the rocky ground.  The sun came out and dried the way quickly.  We were once again dragging our tired feet through dusty roads and for the most part, we were the only sojourners on the highway. 

It was surprising to notice the figure of a young woman dressed in purple and red cloth strolling down the road, pushing a cart and singing a song.  She had such an enchanting voice!  The words of her song fell soothingly on my ears even before I saw her comely figure drawing nearer and nearer to where we would pass her on the road.

“Good day to you gentlemen!  Would you like to gaze upon the gems I’m pushing in this wagon to sell in the village?”

Jesus was strangely quiet.  I took that as acceptance and smiled back at the lovely young lady.  “Why yes, what treasures do you have for sell?”

She smiled sweetly up at me, meeting my eyes with a full wide stare, something that I was not accustomed to from the women of my day.  I thought things just must be done differently here in this valley, and I gazed into the cart she was pushing to see what wares she had to sell.

She dramatically pulled back a cloth that covered a cart full of gems.  I gasped at the brilliance of the many fine jewels that lay in a cloth lining around the bottom of the cart.  The sunlight glistened through them, and they sparkled up at me.  They were the most precious, beautiful, delightful gems my eyes had ever seen, even more beautiful than what I had seen in the crown on Queen Esther’s head as she sat on the throne with her son, The King of Persia. 

“Wow – they are dazzlingly beautiful!”

“Yes, they are! Some lucky person will soon become the owner of these precious jewels.  They have to be sold.  My Father has become ill, and my Mother has died.  They belonged to her, but she has no need of them now.  I would dearly love to keep them, but I must sell them to buy food and drink for my family and to obtain a doctor for my father’s illness.  I only need the right person to give me a fair offer.  I will not be stingy.  I am in desperate need of money as we have always been very poor, except for these precious items that we have held on to for far too long.”

The jewels sparkled up at me.  I reached in my pocket absentmindedly counting and jiggling the coins that I had put back for my provisions along the way.  I could offer her a price, and if she took it I could double my money from such a fine investment in the market place where the silversmiths worked making very fine jewelry.  She would be satisfied, and I would be much better off.  I had not needed money so far, but I was sure we could use a little help with lodging when we got to where we were going.  Somehow Jesus had been feeding us from the spoils of the land, but how much longer would we be that lucky?  Sooner or later we would need money and this opportunity was right in front of me, so easy to grasp. 

I knew the diamonds alone would bring double the coins in my pockets, not to mention the emeralds and rubies and sapphires that now gleamed from the open cart.  I took the coins that I had and held them out to her.  “Would these be a fair price my lady?”

“Ah….that is truly more money than I’ve ever had, but do you not have a little more?”

I knew she would be one to bargain, and I brought out the coin I had hidden before I made my offer.

She smiled at me that same way again, most charming and disarming, and she reached out and took every coin I had.  I blinked and she was gone, leaving a cart full of jewels at my feet.  I wondered how she disappeared so swiftly, but my good fortune was now in my own hands. 

I smiled at Jesus who had stood beside me not saying a word.

 “Quite a trade, huh?”

He once again was very silent.

“We need to be moving on.”

  

He headed back for the pathway, and I picked up the handles of the cart and began to push.  It was amazingly heavy, and I had not thought of how this heavy cart full of jewels would slow me down and make my journey harder, but I knew it would be worth all the trouble in the end.  I mustered up my strength and pushed on.  Jesus was making much better time, but He would stop and gaze back at me patiently and wait up when I fell behind.  Even as He walked ahead of me, I tried to speak loudly and make conversation.  I did not want the cart full of treasures to keep us from our talks. 

“Poor girl, I hope she is able to help her father!  She seemed like such a nice person and so lovely to gaze upon too.”

“A person’s beauty is found on the inside, not the outside Nehemiah.  I fear what was left of her heart was not so beautiful as her outward appearance.”

“Really!  I’m surprised.  Surely she had a kind spirit in wanting to give up all of these precious stones, more beautiful than any I’ve ever seen, and I have seen a few, for the sake of her starving family.”

Jesus said no more.  He wasn’t interested in talking about the young lady.  He was focused and intent on crossing the valley.

“Soon we will come to the field of fires.  You will need to trust me completely in order to cross safely.”

“Fires?”

“Yes, you will see.”

I looked at the wooden cart that I was pushing.  I knew the diamonds could survive fire and still be okay, but I wasn’t sure about the other jewels.  I would just have to find a way around these fields of fire.  I was sure I could find another way in order to protect the investment I had made for our future welfare.

Finally we stopped for a rest under a scruffy shade tree.  I uncovered the cart and gazed down at my treasures, picking up the stones in my hands and letting them fall through my fingers, liking the way they glittered in the sun.  I sorted the diamonds out, thinking they would be the most valuable.  I put them into a napkin and wrapped them separately.

Jesus sat quietly by my side, just watching, never saying a word.  I sensed that He was deliberately not talking to me and I wondered why.  I guess He could read my mind and we had reached a state of not having to talk out loud.  I stopped pondering this and turned back to sorting through the jewels in my cart.  It seemed that this treasure was all I could think about now.  I would be glad when we got out of the valley and I could sell them at the market and pocket enough cash to not have to worry about anything on my future journeys.  I covered the top of the cart carefully as we rose and headed back down the road.

 It wasn’t long before we came to a place that looked like an ash heap.  Everything was charred, burnt, melted down into nothing but ashes.  The land was empty and dry.  The air was heavy.  The way was dusty and dirty.  Some places in the ground still seemed to be smoldering from fires. 

“Be careful here,” Jesus said. 

“What is this place?”

“It is the old altar ground where men took their own children, put them up on polls, lit a torch and burned them as an offering to a pagan god.” 

I could almost hear the cries of innocent children rising out of the ashes.  I was suddenly terrified.  My cart seemed like a much greater burden to push through this area, and I didn’t understand when we came to the smoky areas why some of the fires still seemed fresh. 

“You do not want to understand all there is to know about these fires right now, Nehemiah.  Suffice it to say that I have found the children who were offered here, and they are loved and cared for by my Father now.”

I sensed a reverence in His voice that told me to observe in silence, and not to be too hasty in crossing through here.  I also sensed that many of the fires were still hot and would quickly burn or melt anyone or anything that came near them.  I looked sadly at my cart full of jewels.  I carefully picked up the jewels and wrapped them well in the blanket so they would not drop and put them deep into my pockets.  I lifted the cart up on my back and flung it over my shoulders.  It was heavy and very hard to carry.  I was very slow and my back ached as we moved carefully through this area, dodging the fires, going the long way around in many places.  By the time we reached a clearing my back was killing me.  In severe pain I lowered the cart to the ground once more.  I took out the jewels from my pocket and placed them inside the cart again.  The pain in my side and lower back did not go away.  It was going to be something I had to endure for awhile.  I had been through a lot to keep these jewels, much more than I had originally anticipated.

I had to ask Jesus to stop for awhile.  I very much needed to rest.  We sat down under the shade of an old tree and drank some water.  As we were resting, I pulled the cart next to me, unfolded the cover and recounted the jewels.  I knew how many diamonds, sapphires, rubies, emeralds and pearls I had.  I loved looking at them. I always marveled at the way they captured the light. 

Jesus was watching me hold them in my hands and moveing them back and forth to admire the quality, color and shine that I saw. 

“Nehemiah, you know, many things in this life can be very deceptive.”

I stopped watching the glittering jewels dancing in the sunlight and glanced up at Jesus as He made this comment.

“What do you mean, Lord?”

“I think you will see soon enough.  Let’s get started on our journey again.”

We were in the flat of the valley now.  I rolled the cart a little easier, but it still seemed very heavy.  Sometimes I hit bumps and ruts in the dirt and the jewels would bounce around.  I was being very careful not to let them fall out of the cart.  It was a hard job.  It was hard enough just walking on this long, hot dangerous journey.  The jewels I had in my possession now made it even harder.  I trudged on through, following Jesus, who was able to maneuver better and more swiftly than I could.  He was getting harder and harder to keep up with.  I tried hard not to lose Him, as I did not know the way without Him, but He seemed to have no thought for the heavy burden that I was carting along with us.

“Lord, will you please slow down a bit?”  I asked timidly.

“Why?”

“You know why.  My cart is hard to carry through this rough terrain.”

“I did not tell you to purchase that cart, Nehemiah.  It isn’t my problem.  I need to get where we are going, and I can’t slow down for an unnecessary cart.”

I pondered the true, but stinging words.

“But Lord, this cart was a good investment.  When we get to the city, I can sell it and we will not want for food ever again!”

 “Has your food not always been provided for you?  Have you lacked for anything in the past?”

He had a point.  God had provided everything we needed every step of the way.  But I clung to the fact that I had made a good investment and we would live luxuriously when this was over.  I thought to myself – He will see when that happens.  I tugged at the cart and kept on walking, trying to keep up with the fast pace, but the thoughts He was putting in my head frustrated me.  Finally I decided to break the silence.

“Okay – just tell me – what is it about these jewels that bothers You?”

There – I had said it – the elephant was out of the closet and we could have this discussion.  I DID want to follow Him, His way, but I just wasn’t very clear on His feelings right now.

He smiled at me.  It seemed forever before He answered.

“Did you like the way the sunlight glittered on the jewels as you looked at them earlier?”

Why did He do that?  I noticed that He never answered me directly, but always answered me with another question.  Why did He do that?

“Yes, I did like that sunlight glittering on the jewels.  It made them look quite beautiful.”

“My Father is The Light of The World.”

I wasn’t sure where this conversation was going.  What did one thing have to do with the other?  I walked along in silence, grasping for thoughts on how to respond. 

“Sometimes when we are walking through life, only the next step is illuminated.  My Father gives us just the light we need for our next step and just in the moment that we need it.  When the path is not fully lighted, you can only see one step ahead.  We walk in surrender to faith, even though we are unable to see the future, and we can’t completely comprehend the past.  We walk in the path of the light that we have been given.  It is The Father that gives us the light that we have.  We must reject the fear and doubt that threatens to overtake our journey.  We must be content right where we are each moment.  We must allow God to get us where we need to go.  Nehemiah, you must trust that the light He sheds on your path is always sufficient.  Dayenu !  It is enough!”

Wow, I was beginning to understand.  He had used that old Hebrew word that we recite every year at Passover, “dayenu.”  It meant that we should be satisfied with the place that God put us in this life, that we should be thankful in all circumstances, just to know that God is God.  Now I was getting the whole picture.

“Lord, do you mean that I should not have worried about investing in the jewels and selling them later to obtain gain so that we could always eat and have plenty?  Should I have trusted God for all we needed instead of striking out on my own and investing in the jewels?”

“Well part of that is correct.  That part about trusting God is correct.  It is not that investments are not good, Nehemiah.  Sometimes investments are wise.  It is acting on your own, without consulting God before you make the investment that could get you into trouble.  He is the only One you can trust to show you the true light of your very own unique path.” 

“Hmmmm…..”

“Did you fear that we would not have food Nehemiah?  Is that truly what made you buy those jewels?”

I knew the truth.  It wasn’t the fear that we would not have food.  It was my own greed, the desire to make a profit.  I had enough money in my pockets when I bought the jewels to feed us for the rest of the way.  I had not even needed it so far, Jesus has provided all the food all the way.   I wanted my own personal gain.  I had to admit it.  I looked down ashamed, and I saw that He knew.  He knew my shame.  He always did.  I felt really bad too.  I was remembering how I had fed all those homeless Israelites who came to work on the wall, but had no place to stay or eat.  God had provided.  I was remembering how back in the days that I was supervising the rebuilding of the walls and gates how I took nothing for myself, and had even used my own money for helping others who were working.  I hoped God remembered those things too.  I had temporarily forgotten.  Those things made me feel good about myself; but even I, the unselfish one in the past, had now been tempted by greed and want of gain.  It had snuck up on me without any realization of what I was getting into.  Who would have ever thought this would happen to me?  I thought of the enemy of God sleeping in the temple in the bed of the priests.  My heart sank.  I, myself, was as much a sinner.  I can’t tell you how sad this made my soul.  I guess nothing is beyond any man if he is tempted in the right way at the right time, unless he has the good sense to remember The Lord and turn to Him for advice on how to proceed.  I determined to do better in the future.

“Up until you bought those jewels, it seemed that we were content and happy on this little journey, in spite of the dangers and the long way.”

Once again, I knew He was right.  It was after I bought the jewels and had to push the heavy cart that things became a struggle.  It had become much harder after I had made the decision to take matters into my own hands, without consulting Him, or The Father.

I looked at my hands on the cart.  They seemed bound to it now.  I had made this investment and now I was tied to carrying through with it.  I had new responsibilities I had not anticipated or planned for.  I had to go on down the road with this heavy cart, pushing it ahead of me, feeling ever more tired of the struggle.  I had bound myself to all of this trouble.  I was waking up to the fact that I had made my own way instead of letting God show me how to go.  I remembered reading in the scroll about God’s friend David.  He said in one of the Psalms:  “The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD; and he delights in his way.”  I thought of how delighted I had been before I bought the jewels and how I felt now.  The difference was in following my own way and in not following God’s way.  I wished I could turn back the time, but the deed was done.

I sadly trudged onward.  David had so often spoken of The Good Shepherd.  I had been walking the path with Him, but had not asked Him for help.  He had gently taken His rod and staff in the form of words and conversations and prodded my conscience.  Now, I had seen the light, but I had to decide how to proceed from here.

I bowed my head right there in the road.  I knew from here on out I needed to seek God’s will.  I quietly asked Him to forgive me.  I asked Him to guide me out of this quick-sand that I had fallen into.  I finally put my own understanding aside and trusted in God to show me the way.  I pleaded with God for help in making good choices from now on, and I gave all control over to Him for the remainder of this journey through the valley. 

                I walked along slowly now, pushing the heavy cart, listening, waiting to hear His voice to know what to do next.

I looked up to see a caravan coming our way.  How odd, to meet a whole caravan of people traveling down this lonely road.  The gentleman in the front seemed to be the wealthy owner of all the goods that followed on the backs of the camels behind him.  His men guided the camels with expertise and discernment.  I hoped he might be a man of great means who possibly might want to purchase my jewels.  Perhaps God was already showing me favor!  I smiled at him and waved for him to stop and speak with me.

                “Welcome, stranger, I wish you and your people a safe journey through the land.”

                “Thank you my friend, and may your journey also be blessed.”

                “Sir, I see you may be a man of great wealth, and perhaps you might be in need of some very precious stones, such as these that I have for sale today.”

                The man showed an interest, and I pulled the cloth back that covered the jewels in the cart.  They glistened in the sunlight, and the man got down from his beast and came closer to examine my treasures. 

                “Where did you get these jewels my friend?”

                “I bought them from a woman we met on the road earlier.  She needed money to take to her sick father.”

                “Did she give you a certificate of authenticity?”

                “Well…no..no, she didn’t have one of those, but they are pretty!  See how they glisten in the sun?”

                He reached out to pick up one of the diamonds and turned it upside down.

“Bring me the map” he said to his servant.  The servant quickly placed the map in his hands, and he held it under the diamond.  It was easy to read.  He could see every dot and every word and color on the map.  He looked up at me and shook his head.

                “My friend, these are not of good quality.  They are cut wrong, or else, I would not be able to read through these diamonds.   They will not catch the light as well as one of good quality.  He held the one I had handed to him against the one on his finger.  The brilliance of the shine on his diamond put mine to shame.  It was the real deal.  Mine was not.   My heart sank.  I was astonished and hoped that he did not become angry with me for trying to sell him my poor investment.

                I think he could read the surprise in my face.  I hoped he knew I was an honest man.  He took the diamond again and held it in my direction.  “Do you see the doubling effect?”  I looked closely.  I did see that facets were looking double instead of single as he held them up.    “This means it is only a good quality gemstone – not a diamond.”

                My eyes must have widened. 

                “I am sorry my friend, but you have been sold false merchandise.  I hope you did not pay too much for them.”

                Just all the money I had for the journey.  I did not say that part out loud.  I saw the look of pity he was giving me. 

                “Well, maybe some of the other jewels are okay” he said, hopefully.

                He shuffled through the pile and picked up what looked like a ruby.  I hoped it was real.  He held it up to the light, checking out the color quality, the cut, the size and shape.  He looked at his servant as he made comments.

                “Soft facets….tiny bubbles, see those little scratches?”

The servant nodded.  They both had a knowing look that was exchanged.  He handed it back to me. 

                “Sorry my friend, I don’t think I’ll be interested in these glass imitation rubies that you are carting through the valley.”

                My hopes fell.

                He glanced at the pile of jewels again.  An expression crossed his face, as if he had an idea.

                “I know you might not want to make such a trade, but I do have a young daughter that is much too young to appreciate the value of real jewelry.  I like to have her trinkets made up for her dress up games.  I always use cheap jewels, so if she loses them it is no loss to me.  I could buy them for this purpose.  Would you like to sell them for that reason?  Of course, the price would not be very much.”

I pondered the fact that any money would be better than the NO money I now had inside my pockets.

                “Make me an offer.”

It wasn’t long before the rich merchant went on down the road smiling happy with a gift for his little daughter, and I was left standing with a small amount of pocket change and an empty wooden cart.   At least he could probably teach his daughter a valuable lesson on what is real and what is not, and she might not have to learn this lesson the hard way as I had done. 

“Well, we will make better time now, since your cart will be a bit lighter.”  Jesus offered this comment in hopes of cheering me up.

Suddenly something rose up inside of me and I began to laugh.  I laughed and laughed, and Jesus joined me in the most hilarious laughter we had ever shared. We must have laughed for an hour, until our sides hurt and tears rolled out of our eyes. Every time we stopped we started laughing again.  All at once I felt lighter, so very free, and much, much wiser.

So all was not lost as we trudged through the flat part of the valley and made our way up to the Mountain of God.  How good that mountain looked off in the distance.  We were much closer now, and I could hardly wait to arrive. 

“Nehemiah, we must go through one more gate in this valley before we will begin to climb up to The Mountain of God.”

“Why would we go through another gate in this valley, Lord?  Haven’t we been through enough trials and temptations yet?”

“You have experienced much Nehemiah, but it is at this next gate, The Dung Gate, where you will learn to let go of those burdens and let me remove them from your life forever.”

“Oh.”  I thought of how I had let go of the jewels that were not real, and now I had only an empty cart to show for them.

“The cart needs to go too Nehemiah.  You must move on.  When the time comes you must be able leave it, to let it go, and to forget about it forever.  You have walked a long way pushing a heavy cart with worthless contents.  I can show you where to leave that cart.  Come with me, we must walk through the Dung Gate together.”

He was taking me to a place just outside the city that looked vaguely familiar.  Suddenly I realized we were walking right through The Valley of Hinnom.  I knew what went on here.  It was where the residue from the Temple was burned.  Suddenly I remembered Jesus telling me we would walk through some fires.  So that was what He meant.  We had already walked through some fires, but now they became closer and larger.  

Some of these gates just weren’t any fun.  I had thought when we got to the edge of the valley things might get a little easier.  Nope!  I could tell the Dung Gate was going to be another one of those less than wonderful places.  I knew I must keep following Jesus, no matter where He led me; so I kept walking. 

Now I think I felt humbler than I had ever felt in my whole life.  This valley floor was not the place for pride.  All kinds of shameful thoughts entered my mind here.  My memory was so much keener here and I didn’t like some of the things I was recalling.  The closer we got to the Dung Gate, the more I remembered the awful sins of my past life.  Most of them I had long forgotten.  Most of them I had stuffed away and never spoken to anyone about, not even my Heavenly Father, not even Jesus. But it was obvious that I still remembered them, even after all of this time, even after receiving salvation and being forgiven.  For some reason I had not forgotten them.