SEASONS - LIVING IN AWE

(Writing and photography by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

It is my own personal belief that God has given us the blessing of sacred times to help us to remember to make life-giving connections.  We do this through various forms of meaningful ritual and thoughtful personal transformation in our daily lives.  I think it is by sitting in prayer and meditation before our God that we become empowered to shine with His relevance into whatever corner of the world we find ourselves living.  God meets us where we are, but we have to be willing to take the journey.  The 10 Days of Awe are a lot like driving down the road of life and deliberately deciding to slow down, actually look at the scenery and not rush on by.  It is a pause from the typically busy hectic world.  It is a time out as we travel down the road of truth on our journey through the year.

I think of this every year as a Christian believer who observes the Days of Awe that begin on Rosh Hashanah and linger on through Yom Kippur. 

I don’t consider The Days of Awe to be only Jewish holy days.  My bible says God ordained these days forever, and I am a child of God.  I may be adopted into the family, but I am loved the same as those who were born into the family.  For me it is simply 10 days to reflect and pray about whatever transformations I need to make in the coming year to help the life I live better reflect more of the life of my heavenly Father and His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ.   
  

Every year during this sacred time I begin to recall that I’ve made many terrible daily mistakes.  I’ve misspoken about friends and colleagues. At times I’ve been callous and dismissive.  Often I’ve had moments where I’ve projected my love into places where it does not belong, and then turned around and withheld it from places where it does belong.  In so  many life situations, I’ve let my insecurities paralyze me, or lead me into wrong actions.  I’ve devalued others, as well as myself, and often neglected my family, and neglected the world outside of my immediate family as well.  Perhaps it may seem strange that I admit to the crimes of most of the human race.  In short, I am painfully aware of my humanness and my lack of automatic holiness.  Realizing these things I come before God to repent.  I go to the people I know I've wronged and tell them I'm sorry.  I try to correct my actions by "doing" and not just using the words.

 

Some people feel that admittng these things to God and to their fellow human beings is shocking and repulsive.  They are afraid of facing their own imperfections.  Why do we always expect perfection from ourselves?  Am I being too hard on myself for stopping to think of these things and seeking the forgiveness of God during these 10 sacred days of this season?  After all, Jesus has me covered, right?  I know and believe with all my heart that He has forgiven my sins past, present and future, and has removed them as far as the east from the west.  So why would I stop to ponder such things and seek My Father’s Face for mercy and forgiveness during this time; is it really necessary? 

I feel it is very necessary, because it helps me to turn from wrong.  It takes me beyond just “believing” to living in a place of “being.”   God desires that we want to change.  It is not that I do not accept the grace so freely given by a loving Savior, I definitely do.  It is, however, that if I do not stop to engage these questions every year, I will simply continue to run through the days of my life filling myself up with idle distractions — shopping, vacations, career, social events — and will simply avoid the real work that needs to be done to bring about good authentic change.  Most significant of all is the fact that I would be trampling on that precious gift of grace that has been so freely given, taking the most precious thing that ever happened for granted, and making slight of what My Savior has done in giving His precious life for me. Setting aside this time honors God, My Savior Jesus Christ, and it sets me free from my own paths of careless self destruction.    

So, I welcome those awesome rituals of Rosh Hashanah that force me to stop, assess, redress, and recreate my life before God.  I welcome that opportunity each year to reengage, and to emerge from the paralysis of my own spiritual escapism. My encounter with Rosh Hashanah, The Days of Awe and Yom Kippur each year awaken within my soul the realization that it is time to wake up and stop running away and confess my faults to God, so that I may begin the sacred year with resting peacefully on The Rock of Jesus Christ.  

These High Holy Days teach me and help me to recognize that as human beings we are fundamentally different from objects, machines, plants and animals in that we are not rigid and unchangeable.  We have the ability to change if we chose, to turn, to keep trying until we are able to hit the mark that takes us to a higher place, that place that changes our hearts from duty to love, from rote worship to true desire. 

After each season has passed I feel the fresh peaceful place of knowing "Hayom harat olam" — today is the birth of something completely new. 

 I have the common sense to realize that God has given me a gift I never deserved. 

What could be more wonderful than this? 

What could be more refreshing? 

What could be a better way to enter a new sacred year?

What more could I ask from One who has already given His life for me? 

To steal a phrase from another season:  Dayenu! 

Each year the journey gets more and more interesting.  God has taught me to enjoy the challenges of life. As I bend to His will in my days, He helps me find the purposes He has created specifically for me.  Because I set aside this time every year, I know when the end of my journey comes, I can be at peace and enter safely into His joy. 

SEASONS - THE MONTH OF ELUL - A TIME OF TURNING

(Written by Sheila Gail Landgraf)

Every fall season brings us to the beautiful time of Elul.  This year the last month of the Hebraic calendar starts at sunset of August 26^th, 2014 and lasts until sunset on September 24^th, 2014.  It is one of my favorite seasons.   I usually find myself singing that old song called “Turn, Turn, Turn” made famous by a group called The Byrds back in the 70’s.  The song uses the words of Solomon in the lyrics.  They ring so true during the month of Elul. 

It is a time for turning around and embracing the love of a God who was willing to die for us.  It is a time for paying attention to a God who loved us enough to give His only begotten Son to ransom us from our sins.  It is a time of changing from a relationship of “back-to-back” and turning to a better higher place of “face-to-face” with our Creator.

I think it is this very aspect of the season of Elul that keeps the lyrics of the song and the words of Solomon on my mind and in my spirit in the early parts of each fall.  Elul is the time that teaches us the necessity of being willing to turn.

In the mystial thoughts of Jewish literature it is explained that at the beginning of the Hebraic season of Elul we are “anchor el achor” which means in English; “back-to-back.”  By the end of this season of Elul we are said to be “panim el panim” which means “face-to-face.” 

The concept could be more beautifully explained in a dance, perhaps a lovely ballet production, but since those resources are not readily available, I will try to use mere words.

Let’s paint the picture, like an artist using words:  First of all one must ask the obvious question.  How can it be that we (us and God) are back to back?  Wouldn’t this statement imply that God has His back turned to us?  Wouldn’t it also imply that we have our back turned to God?  How can we say such a thing when this is the month it is said that “The King Is In The Field” , or the God of Heaven has come down to the lowest parts of earth offering mercy and forgiveness to all who are seeking him?  Many teachings and teachers have taught us that this is the very month when God is more accessible than ever, when He is waiting for us to come out to the harvest and greet him in the “field.”  We have learned that this is a time when He is there for us waiting in the “fields” of our everyday lives.  So how could we possibly be “back-to-back?”

The concept is much easier to grasp if you think of it like this; just recall all of the old classic love stoires that you have watched in the movies.  A loving couple has to part for one reason or another.  We see them beginning to walk away from each other with their faces both turned in opposite directions.  Almost always, at some point the man turns around and looks back at the woman.  You can see in his face that he is wanting to call out her name, that he longs to ask for another chance, or beg for forgiveness, or make a way for them to still be together.  In these scenes he is always just about to speak, just about to call out her name, but then he realizes that her back is turned and she is walking away from him.  He tells himself that it is too late, that she just doesn’t care.  He thinks that there is nothing that he can do.  So he turns back around. 

Seconds later the woman turns to look back at the man.  She knows that she doesn’t want this relationship to end.  She stalls for time, walking away slowly  More than anyting she wants to say something to mend the situation, but doesn’t have the right words.  She just can’t muster up the courage or doesn’t have the strength to speak up.  She is in great dispair.  After all, why should she try to speak when his back is turned away from her?  She assumes he just doesn’t care as she sees him continue to walk away from her.

And we, the viewers watch this touching scene, sitting on the edge of our seats, hoping against hope that they will both suddenly turn around in the same second and finally realize that the other does care enough to turn and step back into the other’s arms.  We keep watching, hoping to see if maybe one of them will suddenly realize that though they both appear to be back to back, they really and truly want to be face to face. 

Sometimes we get the happy ending.  

Sometimes they both continue to walk right out of each other’s lives.  

And I am reminded every year that Elul is the time that God uses to remind us to turn.  We must be willing to turn around and face God, willing to turn around and face those who have hurt us.  We must offer forgiveness and move back into the loving embrace of the God who loves us beyond all reason.  We must find ourselves with Him once again, living face-to-face. 

It is a beautiful season.  It is the most wonderful love story ever written.